annr.pandora-第49节
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world。〃
I saw him！ It was in the fancy fragile times of Louis XIV； the Sun King。 We were at a court ball in Dresden。 Music played … the tentative blend of clavichord； lute； violin … making the artful dances which seemed no more than bows and circles。
Across a room； I suddenly saw Marius！
He had been looking at me for a great while； and gave me now the most tragic and loving smile。 He wore a big full…bottomed curly wig； dyed to the very color of his true hair； and a flared velvet coat； and layers of lace； so favored by the French； His skin was golden。 That meant fire。 I knew suddenly he had suffered something terrible。 A jubilant love filled his blue eyes； and without forsaking his casual posture … he was leaning his elbow on the edge of the clavichord … he blew a kiss to me with his fingers。
I truly could not trust my eyes。 Was he really there'？ Was I； myself； sitting here； in boned and low…necked bodice； and these huge skirts； one pulled back in artful folds to reveal the other？ My skin in this age seemed an artificial contrivance。 My hair had been professionally gathered and lifted into an ornate shape。
I had paid no mind to the mortal hands which had so bound me。 During this age I let myself be led through the world by a fierce Asian vampire； about whom I cared nothing。 I had fallen into an ever existing trap for a woman： I had bee the nonmittal and ostentatious ornament of a male personality who for all his tiresome verbal cruelty possessed sufficient force to carry us both through time。
The Asian was off' slowly taking his carefully chosen victim in a bedroom above。
Marius came towards me and kissed me and took me in his arms。 I shut my eyes。 〃This is Marius！〃 I whispered。 〃Truly Marius。〃
〃Pandora！〃 he said； drawing back to look at me。 〃My Pandora！〃
His skin had been burned。 Faint scars。 But it was almost healed。
He led me out on the dance floor！ He was the perfect impersonation of a human being。 He guided me in the steps of the dance。 I could scarce breathe。 Following his lead； shocked at each new artful turn by the rapture of his face； I could not measure centuries or even millennia。 I wanted suddenly to know everything … where he had been； what had befallen him。 Pride and shame in me held no sway。 Could he see that I was no more than a ghost of the woman he'd known？ 〃You are the hope of my soul！〃 I whispered。
Quickly he took me away。 We went in a carriage to his palace。 He deluged me with kisses。 I dung to him。
〃You；〃 he said； 〃my dream； a treasure so foolishly thrown away； you are here； you have persevered。〃
〃Because you see me； I am here；〃 I said bitterly。 〃Because you lift the candle； I can almost see my strength in the looking glass。〃
Suddenly I heard a sound； an ancient and terrible sound。 It was the heartbeat of Akasha； the heartbeat of Enkil。
The carriage had e to a halt。 Iron gates。 Servants。
The palace was spacious； fancy； the ostentatious residence of a rich noble。
〃They are in there； the Mother and the Father〃 I asked。
〃Oh； yes； unchanged。 Utterly reliable in their eternal silence。〃 His voice seemed to defy the horror of it。
I couldn't bear it。 I had to escape the sound of her heart。 An image of the petrified King and Queen rose before my eyes。
〃No！ Get me away from here。 I can't go in。 Marius； I cannot look on them！〃
〃Pandora； they are hidden below the palace。 There is no need to look on them。 They won't know。 Pandora； they are the same。〃
Ah！ The same！ My mind sped back； over perilous terrain； to my very first nights； alone and mortal； in Antioch； to the later victories and defeats of that time。 Ah！ Akasha was the same！ I feared I would begin to scream and be unable to control it。
'Very well；〃 said Marius； 〃we'll go where you want。〃
I gave the coachman the location of my hiding place。
I couldn't look at Marius。 Valiantly； he kept the pretense of happy reunion。 He talked of science and literature； Shakespeare； Dryden； the New World full of jungles and rivers。 But behind his voice I heard the joy drained from him。
I buried my face against him。 When the carriage stopped I leapt out and fled to the door of my little house。 I looked back。 He stood in the street。
He was sad and weary； and slowly he nodded and made a gesture of acceptance。 〃May I wait it out？〃 he asked。 〃Is there hope you'll change your mind？ I'll wait here forever！〃
〃It's not my mind！〃 I said。 〃I leave this city tonight。 Forget me。 Forget you ever saw me！〃
〃My love；〃 he said softly。 〃My only love。〃
I ran inside； shutting the door。 I heard the carriage pull away。 I went wild； as I had not since mortal life； beating the was with my fists； trying to restrain my immense strength and trying not to let loose the howls and cries that wanted to break from me。
Finally I looked at the dock。 Three hours left until dawn。
I sat down at the desk and wrote to him：
Marius；
At dawn we will be taken to Moscow。 The very coffin in which I rest is to carry me many miles the first day。 Marius； I am dazed。 I can't seek shelter in your house； beneath the same roof as the ancient ones。 Please； Marius； e to Moscow。 Help me to free myself of this predicament。 Later you can judge me and condemn me。 I need you。 Marius； I shall haunt the vicinity of the Czar's palace and the Great Cathedral until you e。 Marius； I know I ask of you that you make a great journey； but please e。 I am a slave to this blood drinker's will。
I love you；
Pandora
Running back out in the street； I hurried in the direction of his house； trying to retrace the path which I had so stupidly ignored。
But what about the heartbeat'？ I would hear it； that ghastly sound！ I had to run past it； run through it； long enough to give Marius this letter； perhaps to let him grasp me by the wrist and force me to some safe place； and drive away before dawn the Asian vampire who kept me。
Then the very carriage appeared； carrying in it my fellow blood drinker from the ball。
He stopped for me at once。
I took the driver aside。 〃The man who brought me home；〃 I said。 〃We went to his house； a huge palace。〃
〃Yes； Count Marius；〃 said the driver。 〃I just took him back to his own home。〃
〃You must take this letter to him。 Hurry！ You must go to his house and put it in his hands！ Tell him I had no money to give you； that he must pay you； I demand that you tell him。 He will pay you。 Tell him the letter is from Pandora。 You must find him！〃
〃Who are you speaking of''' demanded my Asian panion。
I motioned to the driver to leave！ 〃Go！〃 Of course my consort was outraged。 But the carriage was already on its way。
Two hundred years passed before I learned the very simple truth： Marius never received that letter！
He had gone back to his house； packed up his belongings and； the following night； left Dresden in sorrow； only finding the letter long after； as he related it to the Vampire Lestat； 〃a fragile piece of writing；〃 as he called it； 〃that had fallen to the bottom of a cluttered traveling case。〃
When did I see him again'？
In this modern world。 When the ancient Queen rose from her throne and demonstrated the limits of her wisdom； her will and her power。
Two thousand years after； in our Twentieth Century still full of Roman columns and statues and pediments and peristyles； buzzing with puters and warmth…giving television； with Cicero and Ovid in every public library； our Queen； Akasha； was wakened by the image of Lestat on a television screen； in the most modern and secure of shrines； and sought to reign as a goddess； not only over us； but over humankind。
In the most dangerous hour； when she threatened to destroy us all if we did not follow her lead … and she had already slaughtered many … it was Marius with his reasoning； his optimism； his philosophy who talked to her； tried to calm her and divert her； who stalled her destructive intent until an ancient enemy came to fulfill an ancient curse； and struck her down with ancient simplicity。
David； what have you done to me in prodding me to write this narrative？
You have made me ashamed of the wasted years。 You have made me acknowledge that no darkness has been ever deep enough to extinguish my personal knowledge of love； love from mortals who brought me into the world； love for goddesses of stone； love for Marius；
Above all； I cannot deny the resurgence of this love for Marius。
And all around me in this world I see evidence of love； Behind the image of the Blessed Virgin and her Infant Jesus； behind the image of the Crucified Christ； behind the remembered basalt image of Isis。 I see love。 I see it in the human struggle。 I see its undeniable penetration in all that humans have acplished in their poetry； their painting； their music； their love of one another and refusal to accept suffering as their lot。
Above all； however； I see it in the very fashioning of the world which outshines all art； and cannot by sheer randomness have accumulated such beauty。
Love。 But whence es this love？ Why is it so secretive about its source； this love that makes ram and trees and has scattered the stars over us as the gods and goddesses once claimed to do？
So Lestat； the brat Prince； woke the Queen； and we survived her destruction。 So Lestat； the b
