annr.pandora-第24节
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ce as beautiful as Tuscany； but maybe this place was beautiful too。
I went out of the courtyard； before the steps； and into the Forum。
I approached a man under the arches who was teaching a group of young boys all of what Diogenes has espoused； that we give up the flesh and all its pleasures； that we live pure lives in denial of the senses。
It was so much as Flavius had described it。 But the man meant his words； and was well versed。 He spoke of a liberating resignation。 He caught my fancy。 For this is what I thought had e to me in the Temple； a liberating resignation。
The boys who listened were too young to know this。 But I knew it。 I liked him。 He had gray hair and wore a simple long tunic。 He was not ostentatiously in rags。
I at once interrupted。 With a humble smile I offered the counsel of Epicurus； that the senses wouldn't have been given us were they not good。 Wasn't this so'？ 〃Must we deny ourselves？ Look； back at the courtyard of the Temple of Isis； look at the flowers covering the top of the wall！ Is this not something to savor？ Look at the roaring red of those flowers！ Those flowers are in themselves enough to lift a person out of sorrow。 WE is to say that eyes are wiser than hands or lips？〃
The young men turned to me。 I fell into discussions with several of them。 How fresh and pretty they were。 There were long…haired men from Babylon and even highborn Hebrews here； all with very hairy arms and chests； and many colonial Romans who were dazzled by the points I made； that in the flesh and in the wine； we find the truth of life。
〃The flowers； the stars； the wine； the kisses of one's lover； all is part of Nature； surely；〃 I said。 I was of course on fire； having just e from the Temple； having just unburdened all fears and having resolved all doubts。 I was for the moment invincible。 The world was new。
The Teacher； whose name was Marcellus； came from under the arch to greet me。
〃Ah； Gracious Lady； you amaze me；〃 he said。 〃But from whom did you really learn what you believe？ Was it from Lucretius？ Or was it from experience？ You realize that we must not ever encourage people to abandon themselves to the senses！〃
〃Have I said anything about abandon？〃 I asked。 〃To yield is not to abandon。 It is to honor。 I speak of a prudent life； I speak of listening to the wisdom of our bodies。 I speak of the ultimate intelligence of kindness； and enjoyment。 And if you will know； Lucretius didn't teach me as much as one might think。 He was always too dry for me； you know。 I learned to embrace the glory of life from poets like Ovid。〃
The crowd of boys cheered。
〃I learnt from Ovid；〃 came shout after shout。
〃Well； that's fine； but remember your manners as well as your lessons；〃 I said firmly。
More cheering。 Then the young men began tossing out verses from Ovid's Metamorphoses。
〃That's splendid；〃 I declared。 〃How many here？ Fifteen。 Why don't you e to my house for a supper Y' I asked。 〃Five nights from now； all of you。 I need the time to prepare。 I have many books I want to show you。 I promise you； I will show you what a delicious feast can do for the soul！〃
My invitation was accepted with amusement and laughter。 I disclosed the location of my house。
〃I am a widow。 My name is Pandora。 I invite you with all propriety； and the feast awaits you。 Don't expect dancing boys and girls； for you will not find them under my roof。 Expect delicious food。 Expect poetry。 Which of you can sing the verses of Homer'？ Truly sing them？ Which of you sings them now from memory for pleasure！〃
Laughter； conviviality。 Victory。 It seemed everybody could do this； and weled the opportunity。 Someone made a soft mention of another Roman woman who would be most jealous when she discovered she had petition in Antioch。
〃Nonsense；〃 said another； 〃her table is overcrowded。 Lady； may I kiss your hand？〃
〃You must tell me who she is；〃 I said。 〃I'll wele her。 I want to know her； and what I can learn from her。〃
The Teacher was smiling。 I slipped him some money。
It was getting dusk。 I sighed。 Look。 The rising stars of the tinted evening that precedes blackness。
I received the boys' chaste kisses and confirmed our feast。
But something had changed。 It was as quick as the opening of one's eyes。 Ah； painted eyes； no。
Perhaps it was only the awful pall of twilight。
I felt a shudder。 It is I who summoned you。 Who spoke those words？ Beware； for you would be stolen from me now and I will not have it。
I was dumbstruck。 I held the teacher's hand warmly。 He talked about moderation in living。 〃Look at my plain tunic；〃 he said。 〃These boys have so much money； they can destroy themselves。〃
The boys protested。
But this was dim to me。 I tried to listen。 My eyes roved。 Whence came that voice！ Who spoke those words！ Who summoned me and who would attempt the theft？
Then to my silent astonishment I saw a man； his head covered by his toga； watching me。 I knew him immediately； by his forehead and his eyes。 I recognized his walk now as he moved steadily away。
This was my brother； the youngest； Lucius； the one I despised。 It had to be him。 And behold the sly manner in which he fled from notice into the shadows。
I knew the whole person。 Lucius。 He waited at the end of the long portico。
I couldn't move； and it was getting dark。 All the merchants who are open only in the day were gone。 The taverns were putting out their lanterns or torches。 One bookseller remained open； with great displays of books under the lamps above。
Lucius … my much detested youngest brother … not ing to wele me with tears but gliding in the shadows of the portico。 Why'？
I feared I knew。
Meantime； the boys were begging me to go to the nearby wine garden with them； a lovely place。 They were fighting over who would pay for my supper there。
Think； Pandora。 This sweet little invitation is some keen test of the degree of my daring and freedom。 And I should not go to a mon tavern with the boys！ But within moments I would be alone。
The Forum grew quiet。 The fires blazed before the Temples。 But there were great spaces of darkness。 The man in the toga waited。
〃No； I must be off now；〃 I said。 Desperately I thought； what I shall I do for a torchbearer？ Dare I ask these youths to see me home'？ I could see their slaves waiting about； some already lighting their torches or lanterns。
Singing came from the Temple of Isis。
It was I who summoned you。 Beware。。。 for me and my purpose！
〃This is madness；〃 I muttered； waving goodnight to those who left in pairs or trios。 I forced smiles and kind words。
I glared at the distant figure of Lucius； who now slouched at the end of the portico in front of doors closed for the night。 His very posture was furtive and cowardly。
Quite suddenly； I felt a hand on my shoulder。 I brushed it off immediately； wishing to lay down limits to such familiarity； and then I realized a man was whispering in my ear：
〃The Priest at the Temple begs for you to e back； Madam。 He needs to talk with you。 He did not mean for you to leave without talking。〃
I turned to see a Priest there beside me； in full Egyptian headdress and impeccable white linen and wearing a medallion of the goddess around his neck。
Oh； thank Heaven。
But before I could recover myself or answer； another man had stepped up boldly； heaving forward his ivory leg and foot。 Two torchbearers acpanied him。 We were embraced by a warm light。
〃Does my Mistress wish to talk to this Priest？〃 he asked。
It was Flavius。 He had followed my mands。 He was wonderfully dressed as a Roman gentleman in the long tunic and a loose cloak。 As a slave； he couldn't wear a toga。 His hair was neat and trimmed and looked as impressive as any free man's。 He was shining dean and appeared pletely confident。
Marcellus； the Philosopher…Teacher； lingered。 〃Lady Pandora； you are most gracious； and let me assure you that the tavern these boys frequent may give rise to another Aristotle or Plato but it is not a fit place for you。〃
〃I know that；〃 I said。 〃Don't worry。〃
The Teacher looked warily at the Priest and at the handsome Flavius。 I slipped my arm about Flavius's waist。 〃This is my steward； who will wele you the night you e to me。 Thank you for letting me disrupt your teaching。 You're a kind man。〃
The Teacher's face stiffened。 Then he leaned doser。 〃There's a man under the portico； don't look at him now； but you need more slaves to protect you。 This city is divided； dangerous。〃
〃Yes； so you see him too；〃 I said。 〃And his glorious toga； the mark of his genteel birth！〃
〃It's getting dark；〃 Flavius said。 〃I'll hire more torchbearers now and a litter。 Right over there。〃
He thanked the Teacher； who reluctantly slipped away。
The Priest。 He was still waiting。 Flavius gestured for two more torchbearers and they came trotting to join us。 We now had a plenitude of light。
I turned to the Priest。 〃I will e to the Temple directly； but I must first talk with that man over there！ The man in the shadows？〃 I pointed quite visibly。 I stood in a flood of light。 I might as well have been on a stage。
I saw the distant figure cringe and try to fade into the wall。
〃Why？〃 Flavius asked with about as much humility as a Roman Senator。 〃Something is very wrong about tha
