annr.pandora-第19节

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　I　laughed。　I　was　seduced　and　thrilled。　I　couldn't　stop　laughing。　This　was　too　funny！　The　slave　merchant　was　confused。　Chastise　the　slave　and　lower　his　value？　Or　let　the　two　of　us　work　this　out？
　〃What　was　I　to　do；〃　he　demanded　in　the　same　confidential　whisper；　only　this　time　in　Greek；　〃shout　to　every　man　passing；　'Here　sits　a　great　teacher；　here　sits　a　philosopher！'？〃　He　grew　a　little　calm；　having　thus　released　this　rage。　〃The　names　of　my　grandfathers　are　carved　on　the　Acropolis　at　Athens；〃　he　said。
　The　merchant　was　mystified。
　But　I　was　so　obviously　delighted　and　interested。
　My　mantle　slipped　again　and　I　gave　it　a　hard　jerk。　These　clothes。　Had　no　one　ever　told　me　silk　slides　on　silk？
　〃And　what　about　Ovid？〃　I　said；　taking　a　deep　breath。　I　almost　laughed　myself　into　tears。　〃You　wrote　Ovid's　name　here。　Ovid。　Is　Ovid　popular　here？　Nobody　would　dare　write　that　on　your　card　in　Rome；　I　can　tell　you。　You　know；　I　don't　even　know　if　Ovid　is　still　alive；　and　it's　a　shame。　Ovid　taught　me　to　kiss　when　I　was　ten　years　old；　when　I　read　the　Amores。　You　ever　read　the　Amores？〃
　His　entire　demeanor　altered。　He　softened　and　l　could　see　he　was　just　on　the　verge　of　hope；　hope　that　I　might　be　a　good　mistress　for　him。　But　he　couldn't　let　himself　believe　it。
　The　merchant　was　waiting　for　the　slightest　signal　as　to　what　he　might　do。　Clearly　he　could　follow　our　exchanges。
　〃Look；　you　insolent　one…legged　slave；〃　I　said。　〃If　I　thought　you　could　even　read　Ovid　to　me　in　the　evenings；　I'd　buy　you　in　a　moment。　But　this　tablet　here　makes　you　a　glorified　Socrates　and　Alexander　the　Great　smashed　in　one。　In　what　war　in　the　Balkans　did　you　carry　arms？　Why　are　you　dumped　in　the　hands　of　this　lowly　merchant　rather　than　taken　at　once　to　some　fine　house？　How　could　anyone　believe　all　this？　If　blind　Homer　had　sung　such　a　preposterous　tale；　people　would　have　gotten　up　and　left　the　tavern。〃
　He　grew　angry；　frustrated。
　The　merchant　put　out　his　hand　in　warning；　as　if　to　control　the　man。
　〃What　the　hell　happened　to　your　leg？〃　I　asked。　〃How　did　you　lose　it？　Who　made　you　this　glorious　replacement？〃
　Lowering　his　voice　to　an　angry　yet　eloquent　whisper；　the　slave　declared　slowly　and　patiently：
　〃I　lost　it　in　a　boar　hunt；　with　my　Roman　Master。　He　saved　my　life。　We　hunted　often。　It　was　on　Pentelikon；　the　mountain。。。〃
　〃I　know　where　Pentelikon　is；　thank　you；〃　I　said。
　His　facial　expressions　were　elegant。　He　was　utterly　confused。　He　licked　his　parched　lips　and　said：
　〃Just　make　this　merchant　fetch　the　parchment　and　the　ink。〃　He　spoke　his　Latin　with　such　beauty；　the　beauty　of　an　actor　or　rhetorician；　yet　with　no　effort。　〃I'll　write　the　Amores　of　Ovid　from　memory　for　…　you；〃　he　said；　gently　pleading　through　clenched　teeth；　which　is　no　mean　feat。　'And　then　I'll　copy　out　all　of　Xenophon's　history　of　the　Persians　for　you；　if　you　have　the　time；　in　Greek；　of　course！　My　Master　'　treated　me　like　a　son；　I　fought　with　him；　studied　with　him；　learned　with　him。　I　wrote　his　letters　for　him。　His　education　I　made　my　education　because　he　wanted　it　so。〃
　〃Ah；〃　I　said　in　proud　relief。
　He　looked　the　full　gentleman　now；　angered；　caught　in　impossible　circumstance　yet　dignified；　and　reasoning　with　just　enough　spirit　to　strengthen　his　own　soul。
　〃And　in　bed？　Can　you　do　it　in　bed'？〃　I　asked。　I　can't　say　what　rage　or　desperation　prompted　this　question。
　He　was　genuinely　shocked。　Good　sign。　His　eyes　really　widened。　He　furrowed　his　brow。
　Meantime　the　slave　trader　emerged　with　the　table；　stool；　parchment；　ink；　and　set　it　all　down　on　the　hot　cobblestones。
　〃Here；　write；〃　he　said　to　the　slave。　〃Make　letters　for　this　woman。　Add　sums。　Or　I'll　kill　you　and　sell　your　leg。〃
　I　broke　again　into　helpless　laughing。　I　looked　at　the　slave；　who　still　stood　dazed。　He　broke　away　from　my　gaze　to　cast　a　disdainful　look　on　the　merchant。
　〃Are　you　safe　around　the　slave　girls？〃　I　said　patronizingly。　〃Are　you　a　lover　of　boys？〃
　〃。I　am　pletely　trustworthy！〃　the　slave　said。　〃I　am　not　capable　of　crimes　for　any　Master。〃
　〃And　what　if　I　desire　you　in　my　bed？　I'm　the　Mistress　of　the　house；　twice　widowed　and　on　my　own；　and　I　am　Roman。〃
　His　face　darkened。　I　couldn't　name　the　emotions　that　seemed　to　pass　over　his　expression；　the　sadness；　indecision；　confusion　and　ultimate　perplexity　that　transformed　him。
　〃Well'？〃　I　asked。
　〃Let's　put　it　this　way；　Madam。　You　would　be　much　more　pleased　with　my　recitation　of　Ovid　than　with　any　attempted　enactment　of　his　verses　by　me。〃
　〃You　like　boys；〃　I　said　with　a　nod。
　〃I　was　a　born　a　slave；　Madam。　I　made　do　with　boys。　I　know　nothing　else。　And　I　need　neither。〃　His　face　was　crimson　now；　and　he　had　lowered　his　eyes。
　Lovely　Athenian　modesty。
　I　gestured　for　him　to　sit　down。
　This　he　did　with　amazing　simplicity　and　grace；　considering　the　circumstances：　the　heat；　the　dirt；　crowds；　the　fragile　stool　and　the　wobbling　table。
　He　picked　up　the　pen　and　quickly　wrote　in　flawless　Greek；　〃Have　I　foolishly　offended　this　great　lady　of　learning　and　exceptional　patience？　Have　I　brought　about；　through　rashness；　my　own　doom？〃　He　wrote　on　in　Latin；　〃Does　Lucretius　tell　us　the　truth　when　he　says　that　death　is　nothing　to　fear？〃　He　thought　for　a　moment；　and　then　he　wrote　in　Greek　again；　〃Are　Virgil　and　Horace　really　equal　to　our　great　poets'？　Do　the　Romans　truly　believe　this；　or　only　hope　it　is　true；　knowing　their　achievements　shine　in　other　arts？〃
　I　read　this　all　very　thoughtfully；　smiling　most　agreeably。　I　had　fallen　in　love　with　him。　I　looked　at　his　thin　nose；　his　cleft　chin；　and　I　looked　into　the　green　eyes　that　looked　up　at　me。
　〃How　did　you　e　to　this？〃　I　asked。　〃A　slave　shop　in　Antioch？　You're　Athenian…bred；　just　as　you　say；'
　He　tried　to　stand　to　answer。　I　pushed　him　to　sit　down。
　〃I　can　tell　you　nothing　of　that；〃　he　said。　〃Only　that　I　was　much　beloved　by　my　Master；　that　my　Master　died　in　his　bed　with　his　family　around　him。　And　that　here　I　am。〃
　〃Why　didn't　he　set　you　free　in　his　will'？〃
　〃He　did；　Madam；　and　with　means。〃
　〃What　happened？〃
　〃I　can　tell　you　no　more。〃
　〃Why　not？　Who　sold　you；　why'？〃
　〃Madam；〃　he　said；　〃please　place　a　value　upon　my　loyalty　to　a　house　in　which　I　served　all　my　life。　I　cannot　speak　more；　If　I　bee　your　servant；　you　will　have　the　same　loyalty　from　me。　Your　house　will　bee　my　house；　and　sacred　to　me。　What　happens　within　your　walls　will　remain　within　your　walls。　I　speak　of　virtue　and　kindness　in　my　Master　because　this　is　proper　to　say。　Let　me　say　no　more。〃
　Sublime　old…Greek　morality。
　〃Write　more；　hurry！〃　said　the　slave　merchant。
　〃Be　quiet；〃　I　told　him。　〃He's　written　quite　enough。〃
　The　handsome　brown…haired　slave；　this　enticingly　beautiful　one…legged　man；　had　fallen　into　some　deep　pit　of　woe　and　looked　towards　the　distant　Forum；　flash　of　figures　back　and　forth　over　the　mouth　of　the　street。
　〃What　would　I　do　as　a　free　man？〃　he　said　to　me；　looking　up　at　me　from　a　position　of　utter　careless　loneliness。　〃Copy　all　day　for　a　pittance　at　the　booksellers？　Write　letters　for　coins？　My　Master　risked　his　own　life　to　save　me　from　that　boar。　In　battle　I　served　under　Tiberius　in　Illyricum；　where　with　some　fifteen　legions　he　put　down　all　revolts。　I　chopped　the　head　off　a　man　to　save　my　Master。　What　am　I　now？〃
　I　was　filled　with　pain。
　〃What　am　I　now'？〃　he　repeated　the　question。
　〃If　I　were　free；　I　would　live　hand　to　mouth；　and　when　I　slept　in　some　filthy　tenement；　my　ivory　leg　would　be　severed　and　stolen！〃
　I　gasped　and　put　my　hand　to　my　lips。
　His　eyes　filled　with　tears　as　he　looked　at　me；　and　his　voice　became　all　the　more　softer；　yet　sharply　articulate：
　〃Oh；　I　could　teach　philosophy　beneath　the　arches　out　there；　you　know；　prattle　on　about　Diogenes；　and　pretend　that　I　liked　wearing　rags；　as　do　his　followers　these　days。　What　a　circus　out　there；　have　you　seen　it？　I　have　never　seen　so　many　philosophers　in　my　life　as　in　this　city！　Take　a　look　when　you　go　back。　You　know　what　it　takes　to　teach　philosophy　here？　You　have　to　lie。　You　have　to　fling　meaningless　words　as　fast　as　you　can　at　young　people；　and　brood　when　you　can't　answer；　and　make　up　nonsense　and　ascribe　it　to　the　old　Stoics。〃
　He　broke　off；　and　tried　to　gain　mand　of　himself。
　I　was　almost　in　tears　as　I　looked　down　at　him。
　〃But　you　see；　I　have　no　skill　at　lying；〃　he　said。　〃That　has　been　my　undoing　with　you；　Great　Lady。〃
　I　was　shattered　inside；　my　wounds　silently　opened。　The　nerve　which　had　carried　me　out　of　confinement　was　ebbing　away。　But　surely　he　saw　my　tears。
　He　looked　towards　the　Forum　again。
　〃I　dream　of　an　honorable　Master　or　Mistress；　a　house　with　honor。　Can　a　slave　through　the　contemplation　of　honor　thereby　have　honor？　The　law　says　not。　So　any　slave　called　to　testify　in　a　court　trial　must　be　tortured；　for　he　has　no　honor！　But　reason　says　otherwise。　I　have　learned　and　I　can　teach　both　bravery　and　honor。　And　yes；　all　of　this　tablet　is　true。　I　didn't　have　time　or　opportunity　to　temper　its　boastful　style。〃
　He　bowed　his　head　and　looked　again　towards　the　Forum；　as　though　towards　the　lost　world。　He　drew　himself　up　in　the　chair；　for　bravery's　sake。　Again；　he　tried　to　stand。
　〃No；　sit；〃　I　said。
　〃Madam；〃　he　said；　〃if　you　seek　my　services　for　a　house　of　ill　repute；　let　me　tell　you　now。。。　if　it　is　to　torture　and　force　young　girls