cb.imajica2-第33节
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t betrayed his nature； which despite his incalculable wealth and his pretensions to metaphysics was peevish； penurious； and sullen。
〃Religion's for the faithful；〃 McGann was loudly opining。 〃They say their prayers； their prayers aren't answered； and their faith increases。 Whereas magic…〃 He stopped； laying his inebriated gaze on the Maestro at the door。 〃Ah！ The very man！ The very man！ Tell him； Sartori！ Tell him what magic is。〃
Roxborough had made a pyramid of his fingers； the apex at the bridge of his nose。 〃Yes； Maestro；〃 he said。 〃Do tell。〃
〃My pleasure；〃 Gentle replied； taking the glass of wine McGann poured for him and wetting his throat before he provided tonight's profundities。 〃Magic is the first and last religion of the world；〃 he said。 〃It has the power to make us whole。 To open our eyes to the Dominions and return us to ourselves。〃
〃That sounds very fine；〃 Roxborough said flatly。 〃But what does it mean？〃
〃It's obvious what it means；〃 McGann protested。
〃Not to me it isn't。〃
〃It means we're born divided； Roxborough；〃 the Maestro replied。 〃But we long for union。〃
〃Oh； we do； do we？〃
〃I believe so。〃
〃And why should we seek union with ourselves？〃 Roxborough said。 〃Tell me that。 I would have thought we're the only pany we're certain we have。〃
There was a riling smugness to the man's tone； but the Maestro had heard these niceties before and had his answers well honed。
〃Everything that isn't us is also ourselves；〃 he said。 He came to the table and set down his glass； peering through the smoky candle flames at Roxborough's black eyes。 〃We're joined to everything that was； is； and will be；〃 he said。 〃From one end of the Imajica to another。 From the tiniest mote dancing over this flame to the Godhead Itself。〃
He'took breath； leaving room for a retort from Roxborough。 But none came。
〃We'll not be subsumed at our deaths；〃 he went on。 〃We'll be increased： to the size of Creation。〃
〃Yes。。。〃 McGann said； the word ing long and loud from between teeth clenched in a tigerish smile。
〃Magic's our means to that Revelation；〃 the Maestro said； 〃while we're still in our flesh。〃
〃And is it your opinion tnat we are given that Revelation？〃 Roxborough replied。 〃Or are we stealing it？〃
〃We were born to know as much as we can know。〃
〃We were born to suffer in our flesh；〃 Roxborough said。
〃You may suffer； I don't。〃
The reply won a guffaw from McGann。
〃The flesh isn't punishment；〃 the Maestro said； 〃it's there for joy。 But it also marks the place where we end and the rest of Creation begins。 Or so we believe。 It's an illusion； of course。〃
〃Good；〃 said Godolphin。 〃I like that。〃
〃So are we about God's business or not？〃 Roxborough wanted to know。
〃Are you having second thoughts？〃
〃Third and fourth； more like；〃 McGann said。
Roxborough gave the man at his side a sour glance。 〃Did we swear an oath not to doubt？〃 he said。 〃I don't think so。 Why should I be castigated because I ask a simple question？〃
〃I apologize；〃 McGann said。 〃Tell the man； Maestro。 We're doing God's work； aren't we？〃
〃Does God want us to be more than we are？〃 Gentle said。 〃Of course。 Does God want us to love； which is the desire to be joined and made whole？ Of course。 Does It want us in Its glory； forever and ever？ Yes； It does。〃
〃You always say It；〃 McGann observed。 〃Why's that？〃
〃Creation and its maker are one and the same。 True or false？〃
〃True。〃
〃And Creation's as full of women as it is of men。 True or false？〃
〃Oh； true； true。〃
〃Indeed； I give thanks for the fact night and day；〃 Gentle said； glancing at Godolphin as he spoke。 〃Beside my bed and in it。〃
Joshua laughed his Devil's laugh。
〃So the Godhead is both male and female。 For convenience； an It。〃
〃Bravely said！〃 Joshua announced。 〃I never tire of hearing you speak； Sartori。 My thoughts get muddy； but after I've listened to you awhile they're like spring water； straight from the rock！〃
〃Not too clean； I hope；〃 the Maestro said。 〃We don't want any Puritan souls spoiling the Reconciliation。〃
〃You know me better than that；〃 Joshua said； catching Gentle's eye。
Even as he did so； Gentle had proof of his suspicion that these encounters； though remembered in one continuous stream； had not occurred sequentially but were fragments his mind was knitting together as the rooms he was walking through evoked them。 McGann and Roxborough faded from the table； as did most of the candlelight and the litter of carafes； glasses； and food it had illuminated。 Now there was only Joshua and himself； and the house was stilt above and below。 Everyone asleep； but for these conspirators。
〃I want to be with you when you perform the working；〃 Josbua was saying。 There was no hint of laughter now。 He looked harassed and nervous。 〃She's very precious to me； Sartori。 If anything were to happen to her I'd lose my mind。〃
〃She'll be perfectly safe；〃 the Maestro said； sitting down at the table。
There was a map of the Imajica laid out in front of him； with the names of the Maestros and their assistants in eacS Dominion marked beside their places of conjuration。 He scanned them and found he knew one or two。 Tick Raw was there； as the deputy to Uter Musky； Scopique was there too； marked as an assistant to an assistant to Heratae Hammeryock； the latter a distant relation； perhaps； of the Hammeryock whom Gentle and Pie had encountered in Vanaeph。 Names from two pasts； intersecting here on the map。
〃Are you listening to me？〃 Joshua said。
〃I told you she'd be perfectly safe；〃 came the Maestro's reply。 〃The workings are delicate； but they're not dangerous。〃
〃Then let me be there；〃 Godolphin said； wringing his hands。 〃I'll be your assistant instead of that wretched mystif。〃
〃I haven't even told Pie 'oh' pah what we're up to。 This is our business and only ours。 You just bring Judith here tomorrow evening； and I'll see to the rest。〃
〃She's so vulnerable。〃
〃She seems very self…possessed to me；〃 the Maestro observed。 〃Very heated。〃
Godolphin's fretful expression soured into ice。 〃Don't parade it； Sartori；〃 he said。 〃It's not enough that I've got Roxborough at my ear all yesterday； telling me he doesn't trust you； I have to bear you parading your arrogance。〃
〃Roxborough understands nothing。〃
〃He says you're obsessed with women； so he understands that； at least。 You watch some girl across the street； he says…〃
〃What if I do？〃
〃How can you give yourself to the Reconciliation if you're so distracted？〃
〃Are you trying to talk me out of wanting Judith？〃
〃I thought magic was a religion to you。〃
〃So's she。〃
〃A discipline； a sacred mystery。〃
〃Again； so's she。〃 He laughed。 〃When I first saw her； it was like my first glimpse of another world。 I knew I'd risk my life to be inside her skin。 When I'm with her； I feel like an adept again； creeping towards a miracle； step by step。 Tentative； excited…〃
〃Enough！〃
〃Really？ You don't want to know why I need to be inside her so badly？〃
Godolphin eyed him ruefully。 〃Not really；〃 he said。 〃But if you don't tell me； I'll only wonder。〃
〃Because for a little time； I'll forget who I am。 Everything petty and particular will go out of me。 My ambition。 My history。 Everything。 I'll be unmade。 And that's when I'm closest to divinity。〃
〃Somehow you always manage to bring everything back to that。 Even your lust。〃
〃It's all One。〃
〃I don't like your talk of the One；〃 Godolphin said。
〃You sound like Roxborough with his die turns！ Simplicity is strength and all the rest。〃
〃That's not what I mean and you know it。 It's just that women are where everything begins； and I like…how shall I put it？ … to touch the source as often as possible。〃
〃You think you're perfect； don't you？〃 Godolphin said。
〃Why so sour？ A week ago you were doting on my every word。〃
〃I don't like what we're doing；〃 Godolphin replied。 〃I want Judith for myself。〃
〃You'll have her。 And so will I。 That's the glory of this。〃
〃There'll be no difference between them？〃
〃None。 They'll be identical。 To the pucker。 To the lash。〃
〃So why must I have the copy？〃
〃You know the answer to that。 Because the original loves me； not you。〃
〃I should never have let you set eyes on her。〃
〃You couldn't have kept us apart。 Don't look so forlorn。 I'm going to make you a Judith that'll dote on you and your sons； and your son's sons； until the name Godolphin disappears off the face of the earth。 Now where's the harm in that？〃
As he asked the question all the candles but the one he held went out； and the past was extinguished with them。 He was suddenly back in the empty house； a police siren whooping 〃nearby。 He stepped back into the hallway as the car sped down Gamut Street； its blue light pulsing through the windows。 Seconds later； another came howling after。 Though the din of the sirens faded and finally disappeared； the flashes did not。 They brightened from blue to white； however； and lost their regularity。 By their brilliance he saw the house once more restored to glory。 It was no longer a place of debate and laughter however。 There was sobbing above and below； and the animal smells of fear in every corner。 Thunder rattled the roof； but there was no rain to soothe its choler。
I don't want to be he
