rasalvatore.attackoftheclones-第30节

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hat　could　well　lead　to　war…were　weighing　heavily　on　her。
　
　She　looked　to　Sola；　too；　to　see　if　she　might　find　some　clue　as　to　how　to　help　alleviate　the　tension；　but　all　she　found　there　was　an　obvious　curiosity　that　set　her　off　her　balance　more　than　had　her　mother's　concerned　expression。
　〃Why　haven't　you　told　us　about　him？〃　Sola　asked　with　a　sly　grin。
　〃What's　there　to　talk　about？〃　Padme　replied　as　casually　as　she　could。　〃He's　just　a　boy。〃
　〃A　boy？〃　Sola　repeated　with　a　laugh。　〃Have　you　seen　the　way　he　looks　at　you？〃
　〃Sola！　Stop　it！〃
　〃It's　obvious　he　has　feelings　for　you；〃　Sola　went　on。　〃Are　you　saying；　little　baby　sister；　that　you　haven't　noticed？〃
　〃I'm　not　your　baby　sister；　Sola；〃　Padme　said　flatly；　her　tone　turning　to　true　consternation。　〃Anakin　and　I　are　friends。　Our　relationship　is　strictly　professional。〃
　
　Sola　grinned　again。
　〃Mom；　would　you　tell　her　to　stop　it？〃　Padme　burst　out　in　embarrassed　frustration。
　
　Now　Sola　began　laughing　out　loud。　〃Well；　maybe　you　haven't　noticed　the　way　he　looks　at　you。　I　think　you're　afraid　to。〃
　〃Cut　it　out！〃
　
　Jobal　stepped　between　the　two　and　gave　Sola　a　stern　look。　Then　she　turned　back　to　Padme。　〃Sola's　just　concerned；　dear；〃　she　said。　But　her　words　sounded　to　Padme　like　condescension；　as　if　her　mother　was　still　trying　to　protect　a　helpless　little　girl。
　〃Oh；　Mom；　you're　impossible；〃　she　said　with　a　sigh　of　surrender。　〃What　I'm　doing　is　important。〃
　〃You've　done　your　service；　Padme；〃　Jobal　answered。　〃It's　time　you　had　a　life　of　your　own。　You're　missing　so　much！〃
　
　Padme　tilted　her　head　back　and　closed　her　eyes；　trying　to　accept　the　words　in　the　spirit　with　which　they　were　offered。　For　a　moment；　she　regretted　ing　back　here；　to　see　the　same　old　sights　and　hear　the　same　old　advice。　For　just　a　moment；　though。　Truthfully；　when　she　considered　it　all；　Padm　had　to　admit　she　was　glad　to　have　people　who　loved　her　and　cared　about　her　so　much。
　
　She　offered　her　mother　an　appeasing　smile；　and　Jobal　nodded　and　gently　tapped　Padme's　arm。　She　turned　to　Sola　next；　and　saw　her　sister　still　grinning。　What　did　Sola　see？
　
　　〃Now　tell　me；　son；　how　serious　is　this　thing？〃　Ruwee　asked　bluntly　as　the　two　neared　the　door　that　would　take　them　back　into　the　house。　〃How　much　danger　is　my　daughter　really　in？〃
　
　Anakin　didn't　hesitate；　realizing；　as　he　had　at　dinner；　that　Padme's　father　deserved　nothing　but　honesty　from　him。　〃There　have　been　two　attempts　on　her　life。　Chances　are；　there'll　be　more。　But　I　wasn't　lying　to　you　and　wasn't　trying　to　minimize　anything。　My　Master　is　tracking　down　the　assassins。　I'm　sure　he'll　find　out　who　they　are　and　take　care　of　them。　This　situation　won't　last　long。〃
　〃I　don't　want　anything　to　happen　to　her；〃　Ruwee　said；　with　the　gravity　of　a　parent　concerned　over　a　beloved　child。
　〃I　don't　either；〃　Anakin　assured　him；　with　almost　equal　weight。
　
　　Padme　stared　at　her　older　sister　until；　at　last；　Sola　broke　down　and　asked；
　
　〃What？〃
　
　The　two　of　them　were　alone　together；　while　Jobal　and　Ruwee　entertained　Anakin　out　in　the　sitting　room。
　〃Why　do　you　keep　saying　such　things　about　me　and　Anakin？〃
　〃Because　it's　obvious；〃　Sola　replied。　〃You　see　it…you　can't　deny　it　to　yourself。〃
　
　Padme　sighed　and　sat　down　on　the　bed；　her　posture　and　expression　giving　all　the　confirmation　that　Sola　needed。
　〃I　thought　Jedi　weren't　supposed　to　think　such　things；〃　Sola　remarked。　〃They're　not。〃
　〃But　Anakin　does。〃　Sola's　words　brought　Padme's　gaze　up　to　meet　hers。　〃You　know　I'm　right。〃
　
　Padme　shook　her　head　helplessly；　and　Sola　laughed。
　〃You　think　more　like　a　Jedi　than　he　does；〃　she　said。　〃And　you　shouldn't。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean？〃　Padme　didn't　know　whether　to　take　offense；　having　no　idea　of　where　her　sister　was　heading　with　this。
　〃You're　so　tied　up　in　your　responsibilities　that　you　don't　give　any　weight　to　your　desires；〃　Sola　explained。　〃Even　with　your　own　feelings　toward　Anakin。〃
　〃You　don't　know　how　I　feel　about　Anakin。〃
　〃You　probably　don't　either；〃　Sola　said。　〃Because　you　won't　allow　yourself　to　even　think　about　it。　Being　a　Senator　and　being　a　girlfriend　aren't　mutually　exclusive；　you　know。〃
　〃My　work　is　important！〃
　〃Who　said　it　wasn't？〃　Sola　asked；　holding　her　hands　up　in　a　gesture　of　peace。　〃It's　funny；　Padme；　because　you　act　as　if　you're　prohibited；　and　you're　not；　while　Anakin　acts　as　if　he's　under　no　such　prohibitions；　and　he　is！〃
　〃You're　way　ahead　of　everything　here；〃　Padme　said。　〃Anakin　and　I　have　only　been　together　for　a　few　days…before　that；　I　hadn't　seen　him　in　a　decade！〃　Sola　shrugged。　Her　look　went　from　that　sly　grin　she　had　been　sporting　since　dinner　to　one　of　more　genuine　concern　for　her　sister。　She　sat　down　on　the　bed　beside　Padme　and　draped　an　arm　across　her　shoulders。　〃I　don't　know　any　of　the　details；　and　you're　right；　I　don't　know　how　you　feel…about　any　of　this。　But　I　know　how　he　feels；　and　so　do　you。〃
　
　Padme　didn't　disagree。　She　just　sat　there；　fortable　in　Sola's　hug；　gazing　down　at　the　floor；　trying　not　to　think。　〃It　frightens　you；〃　Sola　remarked。　Surprised；　Padme　looked　back　up。
　〃What　are　you　afraid　of；　Sis？〃　Sola　asked　sincerely。　〃Are　you　afraid　of　Anakin's　feelings　and　the　responsibilities　that　he　cannot　dismiss？　Or　are　you　afraid　of　your　own　feelings？〃
　
　She　lifted　Padme's　chin；　so　that　they　were　looking　at　each　other　directly；　their　faces　only　a　breath　apart。　〃I　don't　know　how　you　feel；〃　she　admitted　again。　〃But　I　suspect　that　it's　something　new　to　you。　Something　scary；　but　something　wonderful。〃
　
　Padme　said　nothing；　but　she　knew　that　disagreement　would　not　be　honest。
　
　　〃They're　a　lot　to　digest；　all　at　once；〃　Padme　said　to　Anakin　later　on；　when　the　two　were　alone　in　her　room。　She　had　barely　unpacked　her　things；　and　was　now　throwing　clothes　into　her　bag　once　more。　Different　clothes　this　time；　though。　Less　formal　than　the　outfits　she　had　to　wear　as　a　representative　of　Naboo。
　〃Your　mother　is　a　fine　cook；〃　Anakin　replied；　drawing　a　curious　stare　from　Padme；　until　she　realized　that　he　was　joking　and　had　understood　her　point　perfectly　well。
　〃You're　lucky　to　have　such　a　wonderful　family；〃　Anakin　said　more　seriously；　and　then；　with　a　teasing　grin；　he　added；　〃Maybe　you　should　give　your　sister　some　of　your　clothes。〃
　
　Padme　smirked　right　back　at　him；　but　then　looked　about　at　the　mess　and　couldn't　really　disagree。　〃Don't　worry；〃　she　assured　him。　〃This　won't　take　long。〃
　〃I　just　want　to　get　there　before　dark。　Wherever　there　is；　I　mean。〃　Anakin　continued　to　scan　the　room；　surprised　at　the　number　of　closets；　all　of　them　full。　〃You　still　live　at　home；〃　he　said；　shaking　his　head。　〃I　didn't　expect　that。〃
　〃I　move　around　so　much；〃　Padme　replied。　〃I've　never　had　the　time　to　even　begin　to　find　a　place　of　my　own；　and　I'm　not　sure　I　want　to。　Official　residences　have　no　warmth。　Not　like　here。　I　feel　good　here。　I　feel　at　home。〃
　
　The　simple　beauty　of　her　statement　gave　Anakin　pause。　〃I've　never　had　a　real　home；〃　he　said；　speaking　more　to　himself　than　to　Padme。　〃Home　was　always　where　my　mom　was。〃　He　looked　up　at　her　then；　and　took　fort　in　her　sympathetic　smile。
　
　Padme　went　back　to　her　packing。　〃The　Lake　Country　is　beautiful；〃　she　started　to　explain；　but　she　stopped　when　she　glanced　back　at　Anakin；　to　see　him　holding　a　holograph　and　grinning。
　〃Is　this　you？〃　he　asked；　pointing　to　the　young　girl；　seven　or　eight　at　the　most；　in　the　holo；　surrounded　by　dozens　of　little　green　smiling　creatures；　and　holding　one　in　her　arms。
　
　Padme　laughed；　and　seemed　embarrassed。　〃That　was　when　I　went　with　a　relief　group　to　Shadda…Bi…Boran。　Their　sun　was　imploding　and　the　planet　was　dying。　I　was　helping　to　relocate　the　children。〃　She　walked　over　to　stand　beside　Anakin　and　placed　one　hand　on　his　shoulder；　pointing　to　the　holograph　with　the　other。　〃See　that　little　one　I'm　holding？　His　name　was　N'a…kee…tula；　which　means　'sweetheart。'　He　was　so　full　of　life…all　those　kids　were。〃
　〃Were？〃
　〃They　were　never　able　to　adapt；〃　she　explained　somberly。　〃They　were　never　able　to　live　off　their　native　planet。〃
　
　Anakin　winced；　then　quickly　picked　up　another　holograph；　this　one　showing　Padme　a　couple　of　years　later；　wearing　official　robes　and　standing　between　two　older　and　similarly　robed　Legislators。　He　looked　back　at　the　first　holo；　then　to　this　one；　noting　that　Padme's　expression　seemed　much　more　severe　here。　〃My　first　day　as　an　Apprentice　Legislator；〃　Padme　explained。
　
　Then；　as　if　she　was　reading　his　mind；　she　added；　〃See　the　difference？〃　Anakin　studied　the　holograph　a　moment　longer；　then　looked　up　and　laughed；　seeing　Padme　wearing　that　same　long　and　stern　expression。　She　laughed　as　well；　then　squeezed　his　shoulder　and　went　back　to　her　packing。
　
　Anakin　put　the　holographs　down　side　by　side　and　looked　at　them　for　a　long；　long　time。　Two　sides　of　the　woman　he　loved。
　
　Chapter　Fifteen
　
　The　water　speeder　zoomed　above　the　lake；　the　downthrusters　churning　only　a　slight；　almost　indistinguishable；　wake。　Every　so　often；　a　wave　clipped　in；　and　a　fine　spray　broke　over　the　bow。　Anakin　and　Padme　reveled　in　the　cool　water　and　the　wind；　eyes　half　closed；　Padme's　rich　brown　hair　flying　out　behind　her。
　
　Beside　them　at　the　wheel；　Paddy　Accu　gave　a　laugh　at　every　s