gs.earthabides-第59节

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to　go　with　him。　Ish　knew　that　Ezra　would　want　to　say　a　word　to　him　personally　before　going；　and　so　he　drew　Ezra　aside　into　the　kitchen。　
　　〃You　feeling　bad？〃　
　　〃Me？　No；〃　said　Ezra。　〃Never　felt　better　in　my　life。〃　
　　Ezra　smiled；　and　Ish　began　to　see　light。　〃You　weren't　chilly？〃　he　asked。　
　　〃Never　felt　less　chilly　in　my　life；〃　said　Ezra。　〃Just　wanted　to　see　if　we　could　make　Charlie　take　his　vest　off。　I　didn't　think　we　could。　He　don't　like　to　be　away　from　it。　Makes　me　pretty　sure　about　what　I　think　I　see　anyway。　He's　got　a　vest…pocket　he's　deepened　himself；　enlarged　it。　He's　got　in　it　one　of　those　little　things　they　used　to　make　for　ladies　to　carry　around　in　their　purses…just　a　small　piece　of　hardware！〃　
　　Ish　had　a　sudden　sense　of　relief。　Anything　as　simple　and　concrete　as　a　pistol…that　could　be　handled！　His　relief　faded　as　Ezra　went　on：　
　　〃I　wish　I　was　sure　about　him。　Sometimes　I　think　there's　something　ugly　and　dirty　and　mean…clear　to　the　middle　of　him。　Sometimes　I　think　he'll　be　my　best　friend。　Always；　though；　I　know　he's　one　that　knows　what　he　wants　and　generally　gets　it。〃　
　　When　they　went　back　to　the　living…room；　George　was　just　leaving。　
　　〃This　is　the　best　thing　that's　happened　to　us　for　a　long　time；〃　he　was　saying　to　Charlie。　〃We've　needed　another　strong　man。　We　hope　you　stay　with　us。〃　
　　There　was　a　general　confirmation　chorus　from　the　others；　as　all　of　them；　Charlie　and　Ezra　included；　went　out　the　door。　
　　Ish　was　left　standing　with　his　thoughts。　He　had　tried　to　join　in　the　choru；　but　his　tongue　had　been　suddenly　stiff　and　his　mouth　dry。　All　he　could　think　now　was：　〃Something　dirty　and　ugly　and　mean…clear　to　the　middle　of　him。〃　
　　
　　Chapter　7
　　After　they　had　gone；　Ish　thought　of　something　that　he　had　not　done　during　all　those　years。　In　fact；　after　he　had　decided　to　do　it；　he　was　not　sure　whether　he　still　could。　Yet；　when　he　went　into　the　kitchen；　he　found　that　there　was　a　bolt　on　the　back　door。　He　could　remember　his　mother　having　had　it　put　there　because　she　never　trusted　ordinary　locks。　He　shot　that　bolt。　Then　he　went　to　the　front　door；　and　found　that　there　was　still　a　workable　night…latch。　
　　In　all　these　years；　there　had　been　no　need　to　secure　a　door。　No　one　in　the　munity　was　to　be　feared；　no　stranger；　if　there　had　been　one；　would　have　had　a　chance　of　getting　through　the　cordon　of　dogs。　But　now　there　was　someone；　perhaps　not　to　be　trusted；　and　he　had　made　friends　with　the　dogs。　Had　that　patting　of　the　dogs　had　calculation　behind　it？　
　　When　Ish　had　gone　to　bed　and　shared　his　apprehensions　with　Em；　he　found　her　not　very　responsive。　Sometimes；　he　realized；　she　was　too　all…accepting　for　him。　
　　〃What's　so　remarkable　about　him　carrying　a　gun？〃　she　said。　〃You　carry　one　yourself；　lots　of　the　time；　don't　you？〃　
　　〃Not　concealed！　And　I'm　not　afraid　to　take　my　vest　off；　and　be　away　from　my　weapon。〃　
　　〃Yes；　but　maybe　you　should　give　him　a　break　for　being　nervous　and　unfortable；　too。　You　don't　like　his　looks；　maybe　he　don't　like　yours。　He's　among　strangers…surrounded！〃　
　　Ish　felt　a　surge　of　resentment；　almost　anger；　against　Charlie；　the　intruder。　
　　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃but　we　are　on　the　ground　here；　this　is　our　place；　he　es　breaking　in；　he　must　adapt　himself　to　us；　not　we　to　him。〃　
　　〃You're　right；　darling；　I　guess。　But　anyway；　let's　don't　talk　about　it　any　more　now。　I'm　going　to　sleep。〃　
　　If　there　was　any　one　thing　that　Ish　had　always　envied　in　Em；　it　was　her　capacity　to　go　to　sleep　merely　by　saying　so。　As　for　him；　the　harder　he　thought　about　going　to　sleep；　the　longer　he　was　likely　to　take；　and　he　could　never　slow　down　his　mind　as　he　wanted　to。　Now　again　he　felt　it　settle　to　work。　For　suddenly　he　had　had　a　new　idea；　and　a　disturbing　one。　The　trouble　was；　he　decided；　that　he　had　to　think　of　himself　as　pitted　against　Charlie　in　a　personal　struggle。　If　The　Tribe　had　been　really　drawn　together　already　into　some　firm　organization；　if　there　were　some　symbolic　unity　by　which　they　presented　an　unbroken　front；　then　the　mere　advent　of　any　stranger；　strong　though　he　might　be　as　an　individual；　would　be　of　little　moment。　Now　it　might　be　too　late。　The　stranger　had　e　already；　and　he　must　be　met　as　man　to　man。　
　　And　Charlie　would　be　no　mean　opponent。　Already　he　had　won　the　loyalty　and　friendship　of　Dick　and　Bob；　and　doubtless　of　others　of　the　younger　ones。　George　was　obviously　impressed。　Ezra　seemed　doubtful。　What　was　this　strange　charm；　backed　by　strength？　
　　Ish　could　not　sense　why　anyone　felt　a　liking　for　Charlie；　but　the　fact　was　that　they　did。　And　the　fact　might　be　also　that　he　himself　was　too　narrowly　prejudiced　against　the　man；　out　of　a　spirit　of　rivalry；　to　feel　Charlie's　real　strength。　But　of　one　thing　he　began　to　feel　certain。　There　would　be　some　contest　between　the　two　of　them。　Just　what　form　this　contest　would　take；　he　could　not　yet　know。　But　since　they　lacked　the　solidarity　of　anything　that　could　be　called　a　state；　the　contest　would　be　an　individual　one。　
　　Or　at　worst；　it　would　be　a　struggle　of　factions　with　two　opposing　leaders。　On　whom　could　be；　Ish；　depend？　He　was　not　really　a　leader。　He　had　been　a　leader　so　far；　doubtless；　by　default…because　George　had　been　too　stupid　and　Ezra　too　easygoing　to　offer　any　petition。　Oh；　intellectual　leadership；　yes！　But　in　any　basic　struggle　for　power；　the　intellectual　man　went　under。　He　thought　of　the　deceptively　pretty　eyes　of　baby…blue；　yet　they　had　a　coldness　such　as　dark　eyes　could　never　show。　
　　〃Who　will　follow　my　banner？〃　he　questioned　dramatically。　Even　Em　seemed　to　be　failing　him。　She　had　made　light　of　things；　almost　defended　Charlie。　All　at　once　Ish　felt　himself　the　scared　little　boy　of　the　Old　Times。　Of　all　these　people　Joey　alone　was　the　one　who　could　thoroughly　understand；　the　only　one　on　whom　he　could　always　count。　And　Joey　was　a　little　boy；　physically　frail　even　for　his　years。　What　help　could　he　be　against　the　rush　of　Charlie's　power？　No；　not　pig…eyes；　he　thought　again。　They　are　a　boar's　eyes！　
　　Finally；　however；　he　said　to　himself；　〃This　is　the　mere　madness　of　midnight；　these　are　only　the　wild　fantasies　that　e　to　a　man　in　the　darkness　when　he　cannot　sleep。〃　And　he　managed；　at　last；　to　dismiss　the　thoughts　from　his　mind；　and　to　sleep。　
　　In　the　morning　things　indeed　looked　better…not　altogether　rosy；　perhaps；　but　at　least　not　too　dark。　He　ate　breakfast　in　a　good　enough　mood。　He　was　happy　to　see　Bob　at　the　breakfast　table　again；　and　by　questioning　got　from　him　some　more　details　of　the　trip。　
　　Then；　just　as　he　was　beginning　to　feel　fortable；　the　whole　thing　broke　loose　on　him　when　Bob　spoke。　
　　〃I　guess；〃　he　said；　〃I'll　go　over　and　see　Charlie　now。〃　
　　Ish　felt　a　sudden　desire　to　snap　out　a　bit　of　fatherly　advice；　〃I　wouldn't　see　so　much　of　that　fellow；　if　I　were　you。〃　But　he　saw　Em's　eyes　saying　no；　and　he　himself　knew　that　such　advice　would　only　make　Charlie　seem　forbidden　and　more　attractive。　He　still　kept　wondering　what　fascination　Charlie　exercised　upon　the　two　boys。　
　　Bob　went；　and　after　the　morning　chores　were　finished；　the　other　children　drifted　off　too。　〃What　is　the　fascination？〃　said　Ish　to　Em。　
　　〃Oh；　don't　worry；〃　she　said。　〃It's　just　the　attraction　of　a　stranger；　something　new。　Isn't　that　natural？〃　
　　〃There　is　trouble　ahead！〃　
　　〃Perhaps；〃　said　Em；　and　Ish　suddenly　realized　that　that　was　the　first　time　she　had　admitted　the　possibility；　and　then　she　changed　the　direction　of　his　thoughts　with　a　second　remark；　〃But　be　careful　that　you're　not　the　one　who　starts　the　trouble。　〃　
　　〃What　do　you　mean？〃　he　snapped；　angrily；　although　he　did　not　often　get　angry　at　Em。　〃You　mean　that　this　is　just　a　fight　for　domination？〃　
　　〃I　think　that　you'd　better　go　over　and　see　what's　happening　now；〃　she　said；　disregarding　his　last　question。　
　　The　advice　seemed　good　in　any　case；　for　perhaps　he　too　was　curious。　He　started　to　follow　it；　and　just　as　he　was　opening　the　front　door；　he　had　a　feeling　of　uncertainty。　He　closed　the　door　behind　him；　and　stood　on　the　front　porch　wondering。　His　hands　felt　strangely　empty；　he　needed　something。　He　felt　defenseless；　and　he　considered　going　back　into　the　house　to　strap　a　pistol　on。　In　the　vicinity　of　the　houses　they　never　needed　to　carry　firearms　any　more；　because　the　dogs　gave　plentiful　warning；　but　he　could　make　an　excuse　that　he　was　going　somewhere　farther　off。　Still；　he　hesitated；　realizing　that　to　carry　a　pistol　would　look　like　aggression…besides；　it　would　be　a　confession　of　his　own　weakness　and　insecurity。　Yet　he　could　not　deny　his　feeling　of　uncertainty。　
　　He　went　back　into　the　house；　and　immediately　saw　the　hammer　on　the　mantelpiece。　〃So　that's　it！〃　he　thought　irritably。　〃You're　as　bad　as　the　children。　You're　letting　the　children's　ideas　work　into　you！〃　Nevertheless　he　picked　up　the　hammer　and　took　it　along。　Its　weight　and　solidity　gave　him　fort。　The　handle's　firm　hardness　filled　up　the　emptiness　of　his　right　hand。　
　　Over　from　where　the　bonfire　had　been；　he　heard　a　sound　of　people　laughing；　and　he　walked　that　way。　He　was　alone；　and　then　suddenly　he　felt　again　the　Great　Loneliness。　
　　It　came　upon　him　with　paralyzing　force。　Once　more　he　was　the　ant　lost　from　the　hill；　the　bee　from　the　destroyed　hive；　the　motherless　child！　He