flatland(弗莱特兰)-第5节
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individual； but as to the class。 What therefore 〃introduction〃 is among the
higher classes in Spaceland； that the process of 〃feeling〃 is with us。
〃Permit me to ask you to feel and be felt by my friend Mr。 So…and…so〃is
still； among the more old…fashioned of our country gentlemen in districts
remote from towns； the customary formula for a Flatland introduction。 But
in the towns； and among men of business； the words 〃be felt by〃 are
omitted and the sentence is abbreviated to； 〃Let me ask you to feel Mr。 So…
and…so〃； although it is assumed； of course； that the 〃feeling〃 is to be
reciprocal。 Among our still more modern and dashing young gentlemen
who are extremely averse to superfluous effort and supremely indifferent
to the purity of their native languagethe formula is still further curtailed
by the use of 〃to feel〃 in a technical sense； meaning； 〃to recommend…for…
the…purposes…of…feeling…and…being…felt〃； and at this moment the 〃slang〃 of
polite or fast society in the upper classes sanctions such a barbarism as
〃Mr。 Smith； permit me to feel Mr。 Jones。〃 Let not my Reader however
suppose that 〃feeling〃 is with us the tedious process that it would be with
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you； or that we find it necessary to feel right round all the sides of every
individual before we determine the class to which he belongs。 Long
practice and training； begun in the schools and continued in the experience
of daily life； enable us to discriminate at once by the sense of touch；
between the angles of an equal…sided Triangle； Square； and Pentagon； and
I need not say that the brainless vertex of an acute…angled Isosceles is
obvious to the dullest touch。 It is therefore not necessary； as a rule； to do
more than feel a single angle of an individual； and this； once ascertained；
tells us the class of the person whom we are addressing； unless indeed he
belongs to the higherSECTIONs of the nobility。 There the difficulty is
much greater。 Even a Master of Arts in our University of Wentbridge has
been known to confuse a ten…sided with a twelve…sided Polygon； and there
is hardly a Doctor of Science in or out of that famous University who
could pretend to decide promptly and unhesitatingly between a twenty…
sided and a twenty…four sided member of the Aristocracy。
Those of my readers who recall the extracts I gave above from the
Legislative code concerning Women； will readily perceive that the process
of introduction by contact requires some care and discretion。 Otherwise
the angles might inflict on the unwary Feeling irreparable injury。 It is
essential for the safety of the Feeler that the Felt should stand perfectly
still。 A start； a fidgety shifting of the position； yes； even a violent sneeze；
has been known before now to prove fatal to the incautious； and to nip in
the bud many a promising friendship。 Especially is this true among the
lower classes of the Triangles。 With them； the eye is situated so far from
their vertex that they can scarcely take cognizance of what goes on at that
extremity of their frame。 They are； moreover； of a rough coarse nature； not
sensitive to the delicate touch of the highly organized Polygon。 What
wonder then if an involuntary toss of the head has ere now deprived the
State of a valuable life！
I have heard that my excellent Grandfatherone of the least irregular
of his unhappy Isosceles class； who indeed obtained； shortly before his
decease； four out of seven votes from the Sanitary and Social Board for
passing him into the class of the Equal…sided often deplored； with a tear
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in his venerable eye； a miscarriage of this kind； which had occurred to his
great…great…great…Grandfather； a respectable Working Man with an angle or
brain of 59 degrees 30 minutes。 According to his account； my
unfortunately Ancestor； being afflicted with rheumatism； and in the act of
being felt by a Polygon； by one sudden start accidentally transfixed the
Great Man through the diagonal and thereby； partly in consequence of his
long imprisonment and degradation； and partly because of the moral shock
which pervaded the whole of my Ancestor's relations； threw back our
family a degree and a half in their ascent towards better things。 The result
was that in the next generation the family brain was registered at only 58
degrees； and not till the lapse of five generations was the lost ground
recovered； the full 60 degrees attained； and the Ascent from the Isosceles
finally achieved。 And all this series of calamities from one little accident
in the process of Feeling。
As this point I think I hear some of my better educated readers exclaim；
〃How could you in Flatland know anything about angles and degrees； or
minutes？ We SEE an angle； because we； in the region of Space； can see
two straight lines inclined to one another； but you； who can see nothing
but on straight line at a time； or at all events only a number of bits of
straight lines all in one straight line； how can you ever discern an angle；
and much less register angles of different sizes？〃
I answer that though we cannot SEE angles； we can INFER them； and
this with great precision。 Our sense of touch； stimulated by necessity； and
developed by long training； enables us to distinguish angles far more
accurately than your sense of sight； when unaided by a rule or measure of
angles。 nor must I omit to explain that we have great natural helps。 It is
with us a Law of Nature that the brain of the Isosceles class shall begin at
half a degree； or thirty minutes； and shall increase （if it increases at all） by
half a degree in every generation until the goal of 60 degrees is reached；
when the condition of serfdom is quitted； and the freeman enters the class
of Regulars。
Consequently； Nature herself supplies us with an ascending scale or
Alphabet of angles for half a degree up to 60 degrees； Specimen of which
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are placed in every Elementary School throughout the land。 Owing to
occasional retrogressions； to still more frequent moral and intellectual
stagnation； and to the extraordinary fecundity of the Criminal and
Vagabond classes； there is always a vast superfluity of individuals of the
half degree and single degree class； and a fair abundance of Specimens up
to 10 degrees。 These are absolutely destitute of civil rights； and a great
number of them； not having even intelligence enough for the purposes of
warfare； are devoted by the States to the service of education。 Fettered
immovably so as to remove all possibility of danger； they are placed in the
classrooms of our Infant Schools； and there they are utilized by the Board
of Education for the purpose of imparting to the offspring of the Middle
Classes the tact and intelligence which these wretched creatures
themselves are utterly devoid。
In some States the Specimens are occasionally fed and suffered to
exist for several years； but in the more temperate and better regulated
regions； it is found in the long run more advantageous for the educational
interests of the young； to dispense with food； and to renew the Specimens
every monthwhich is about the average duration of the foodless
existence of the Criminal class。 In the cheaper schools； what is gained by
the longer existence of the Specimen is lost； partly in the expenditure for
food； and partly in the diminished accuracy of the angles； which are
impaired after a few weeks of constant 〃feeling。〃 Nor must we forget to
add； in enumerating the advantages of the more expensive system； that it
tends； though slightly yet perceptibly； to the diminution of the redundant
Isosceles population an object which every statesman in Flatland
constantly keeps
