grace abounding to the chief of sinners-第23节

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298。　　A　tinkling　cymbal　is　an　instrument　of　music；　with　which　a　　skilful　player　can　make　such　melodious　and　heart…inflaming　music；　　that　all　who　hear　him　play；　can　scarcely　hold　from　dancing；　and　yet　　behold　the　cymbal　hath　not　life；　neither　comes　the　music　from　it；　　but　because　of　the　art　of　him　that　plays　therewith；　so　then　the　　instrument　at　last　may　come　to　nought　and　perish；　though　in　times　　past　such　music　hath　been　made　upon　it。

299。　　Just　thus　I　saw　it　was；　and　will　be；　with　them　who　have　　gifts；　but　want　saving　grace；　they　are　in　the　hand　of　Christ；　as　　the　cymbal　in　the　hand　of　DAVID：　　and　as　DAVID　could　with　the　　cymbal　make　that　mirth　in　the　service　of　God；　as　to　elevate　the　　hearts　of　the　worshippers；　so　Christ　can　use　these　gifted　men；　as　　with　them　to　affect　the　souls　of　His　people　in　His　church；　yet　when　　He　hath　done　all；　hang　them　by；　as　lifeless；　though　sounding　　cymbals。

300。　　This　consideration　therefore；　together　with　some　others；　were　　for　the　most　part；　as　a　maul　on　the　head　of　pride；　and　desire　of　　vain…glory。　　What；　thought　I；　shall　I　be　proud　because　I　am　a　　sounding　brass？　　Is　it　so　much　to　be　a　fiddle？　hath　not　the　least　　creature　that　hath　life；　more　of　God　in　it　than　these？　　Besides；　I　　knew　'twas　love　should　never　die；　but　these　must　cease　and　vanish：　　　so　I　concluded；　a　　little　grace；　a　little　love；　a　little　of　the　　true　fear　of　God；　is　better　than　all　the　gifts：　　yea；　and　I　am　　fully　convinced　of　it；　that　it　is　possible　for　souls　that　can　　scarce　give　a　man　an　answer；　but　with　great　confusion　as　to　method；　　I　say；　it　is　possible　for　them　to　have　a　thousand　times　more　grace；　　and　so　to　be　more　in　the　love　and　favour　of　the　Lord；　than　some　who　　by　the　virtue　of　the　gift　of　knowledge；　can　deliver　themselves　like　　angels。

301。　　Thus　therefore　I　came　to　perceive　that；　though　gifts　in　　themselves　were　good；　to　the　thing　for　which　they　are　designed；　to　　wit；　the　edification　of　others；　yet　empty；　and　without　power　to　　save　the　soul　of　him　that　hath　them；　if　they　be　ALONE：　　neither　are　　they；　as　so；　any　sign　of　a　man's　state　to　be　happy；　being　only　a　　dispensation　of　God　to　some；　of　whose　improvement；　or　non…　improvement；　they　must　when　a　little　love　more　is　over；　give　an　　account　to　Him　that　is　ready　to　judge　the　quick　and　the　dead。

302。　　This　showed　me　too；　that　gifts　being　alone；　were　dangerous；　　not　in　themselves；　but　because　of　those　evils　that　attend　them　that　　have　them；　to　wit；　pride；　desire　of　vain　glory；　self…conceit；　etc。；　　all　which　were　easily　blown　up　at　the　applause　and　commendation　of　　every　unadvised　Christian；　to　the　endangering　of　a　poor　creature　to　　fall　into　the　condemnation　of　the　devil。

303。　　I　saw　therefore　that　he　that　hath　gifts；　had　need　be　let　into　　a　sight　of　the　nature　of　them；　to　wit；　that　they　come　short　of　　making　of　him　to　be　in　a　truly　saved　condition；　lest　he　rest　in　　them；　and　so　fall　short　of　the　grace　of　God。

304。　　He　hath　cause　also　to　walk　humbly　with　God　and　be　little　in　　his　own　eyes；　and　to　remember　withal；　that　his　gifts　are　not　his　　own；　but　the　churches；　and　that　by　them　he　is　made　a　servant　to　the　　church；　and　he　must　also　give　at　last　an　account　of　his　stewardship　　unto　the　Lord　Jesus；　and　to　give　a　good　account　will　be　a　blessed　　thing。

305。　　Let　all　men　therefore　prize　a　little　with　the　fear　of　the　　Lord　（gifts　indeed　are　desirable）；　but　yet　great　grace　and　small　　gifts　are　better　than　great　gifts　and　no　grace。　　It　doth　not　say；　　the　Lord　gives　gifts　and　glory；　but　the　Lord　gives　grace　and　glory；　　and　blessed　is　such　an　one；　to　whom　the　Lord　gives　grace；　true　　grace；　for　that　is　a　certain　forerunner　of　glory。

306。　　But　when　Satan　perceived　that　his　thus　tempting　and　　assaulting　of　me；　would　not　answer　his　design；　to　wit；　to　overthrow　　the　ministry；　and　make　it　ineffectual；　as　to　the　ends　thereof：　　　then　he　tried　another　way；　which　was；　to　stir　up　the　minds　of　the　　ignorant　and　malicious　to　load　me　with　slanders　and　reproaches：　　　now　therefore　I　may　say；　that　what　the　devil　could　devise；　and　his　　instruments　invent；　was　whirled　up　and　down　the　country　against　me；　　thinking；　as　I　said；　that　by　that　means　they　should　make　my　　ministry　to　be　abandoned。

　307。　　It　began　therefore　to　be　rumoured　up　and　down　among　the　　people；　that　I　was　a　witch；　a　Jesuit；　a　highwayman；　and　the　like。

　308。　　To　all　which；　I　shall　only　say；　God　knows　that　I　am　　innocent。　　But　as　for　mine　accusers；　let　them　provide　themselves　to　　meet　me　before　the　tribunal　of　the　Son　of　God；　there　to　answer　for　　all　these　things　（with　all　the　rest　of　their　iniquities）　unless　God　　shall　give　them　repentance　for　them；　for　the　which　I　pray　with　all　　my　heart。

309。　　But　that　which　was　reported　with　the　boldest　confidence；　was；　　that　I　had　my　MISSES；　my　WHORES；　my　BASTARDS；　yea；　TWO　WIVES　at　　once；　and　the　like。　　　Now　these　slanders　（with　the　others）　I　glory　　in；　because　but　slanders；　foolish　or　knavish　lies；　and　falsehoods　　cast　upon　me　by　the　devil　and　his　seed；　and；　should　I　not　be　dealt　　with　thus　wickedly　by　the　world；　I　should　want　one　sign　of　a　saint；　　and　a　child　of　God。　　BLESSED　ARE　YE　（said　the　Lord　Jesus）　WHEN　MEN　　SHALL　REVILE　YOU　AND　PERSECUTE　YOU；　AND　SHALL　SAY　ALL　MANNER　OF　　EVIL　AGAINST　YOU　FALSELY　FOR　MY　SAKE；　REJOICE　AND　BE　EXCEEDING　　GLAD；　FOR　GREAT　IS　YOUR　REWARD　IN　HEAVEN；　FOR　SO　PERSECUTED　THEY　　THE　PROPHETS　WHICH　WERE　BEFORE　YOU。　　Matt。　iv。　11。

310。　　These　things　therefore；　upon　mine　own　account；　trouble　me　　not；　no；　though　they　were　twenty　times　more　than　they　are。　　I　have　　a　good　conscience；　and　whereas　they　speak　evil　of　me；　as　an　evil…　doer；　they　shall　be　ashamed　that　falsely　accuse　my　good　　conversation　in　Christ。

311。　　So　then；　what　shall　I　say　to　those　who　have　thus　bespattered　　me？　　Shall　I　threaten　them？　　Shall　I　chide　them？　　Shall　I　flatter　　them？　　Shall　I　entreat　them　to　hold　their　tongues？　　No；　not　I。　　　Were　it　not　for　that　these　things　make　them　ripe　for　damnation；　　that　are　the　authors　and　abettors；　I　would　say　unto　them；　REPORT　　IT；　because　'twill　increase　my　glory。

312。　　Therefore　I　bind　these　lies　and　slanders　to　me　as　an　　ornament；　it　belongs　to　my　Christian　profession　to　be　vilified；　　slandered；　reproached　and　reviled；　and　since　all　this　is　nothing　　else；　as　my　God　and　my　conscience　do　bear　me　witness；　I　rejoice　in　　reproaches　for　Christ's　sake。

313。　　I　also　call　all　these　fools　or　knaves；　that　have　thus　made　it　　any　thing　of　their　business　to　affirm　any　of　the　things　afore…named　　of　me；　namely；　That　I　have　been　naught　with　other　women；　or　the　　like。　　When　they　have　used　the　utmost　of　their　endeavours；　and　made　　the　fullest　inquiry　that　they　can；　to　prove　against　me　truly；　that　　there　is　any　woman　in　heaven；　or　earth；　or　hell；　that　can　say；　I　　have　at　any　time；　in　any　place；　by　day　or　night；　so　much　as　　attempted　to　be　naught　with　them；　and　speak　I　thus　to　beg　my　　enemies　into　a　good　esteem　of　me？　　No；　not　I：　　I　will　in　this　beg　　belief　of　no　man：　　believe　or　disbelieve　me　in　this；　all　is　a…case　　to　me。

314。　　My　foes　have　missed　their　mark　in　this　shooting　at　me：　　I　am　　not　the　man：　　I　wish　that　they　themselves　be　guiltless。　　If　all　the　　fornicators　and　adulterers　in　ENGLAND　were　hanged　up　by　the　neck　　till　they　be　dead；　JOHN　BUNYAN；　the　object　of　their　envy；　would　be　　still　alive　and　well。　　I　know　not　whether　there　be　such　a　thing　as　　a　woman　breathing　under　the　copes　of　the　whole　heaven；　but　by　their　　apparel；　their　children；　or　by　common　fame；　except　my　wife。

315。　　And　in　this　I　admire　the　wisdom　of　God；　that　He　made　me　shy　　of　women　from　my　first　conversion　until　now。　　Those　shy　of　women　　know；　and　can　also　bear　me　witness；　with　whom　I　have　been　most　　intimately　concerned；　that　it　is　a　rare　thing　to　see　me　carry　it　　pleasant　towards　a　woman：　　the　common　salutation　of　women　I　abhor；　　'tis　odious　to　me　in　whomsoever　I　see　it。　　Their　company　alone；　I　　cannot　away　with；　I　seldom　so　much　as　touch　a　woman's　hand；　for　I　　think　these　things　are　not　so　becoming　me。　　When　I　have　seen　good　　men　salute　those　women　that　they　have　visited；　or　that　have　visited　　them；　I　have　at　times　made　my　objection　against　it；　and　when　they　　have　answered；　that　it　was　but　a　piece　of　civility；　I　have　told　　them；　it　is　not　a　comely　sight。　　Some　indeed　have　urged　the　holy　　kiss；　but　then　I　have　asked　why　they　made　baulks？　why　they　did　　salute　the　most　handsome；　and　let　the　ill…favoured　go？　　Thus；　how　　laudable　soever　such　things　have　been　in　the　eyes　of　others；　they　　have　been　unseemly　in　my　sight。

316。　　And　now　for　a　wind…up　in　this　matter；　I　calling　not　only　men；　　but　angels；　to　prove　me　guilty　of　having　carnally　to　do　with　any　　woman　save　my　wife：　　nor　am　I　afraid　to　do　it　a　second　time；　　knowing　that　it　cannot　offend　the　Lord　in　such　a　case；　to　call　God　　for　a　record　upon　my　soul；　that　in　these　things　I　am　innocent。　　Not　　that　I　have　been　thus　kept；　because　of　any　goodness　in　me；　more　　than　any　other；　but　God　has　been　merciful　to　me；　and　has　kept　me；　　to　whom　I　pray　that　He　will　keep　me　still；　not　only　from　this；　but　　every　evil　way　and　work；　and　preserve　me　to　His　heavenly　kingdom。　　　AMEN。

317。　　Now　as　Satan　laboured　by　reproaches　and　slanders；　to　make　me　　vile　among　my　countrymen；　that；　if　possible；　my　preaching　might　be　　made　of　none