the diary of a nobody-第13节

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f　your　friend。〃

Lupin；　to　my　surprise；　said：　　〃Oh　yes。　　He　showed　me　the　letter　before　he　sent　it。　　I　think　he　is　right；　and　you　ought　to　apologise。〃



CHAPTER　XII。



A　serious　discussion　concerning　the　use　and　value　of　my　diary。　Lupin's　opinion　of　'Xmas。　　Lupin's　unfortunate　engagement　is　on　again。


December　17。　…　As　I　open　my　scribbling　diary　I　find　the　words　〃Oxford　Michaelmas　Term　ends。〃　　Why　this　should　induce　me　to　indulge　in　retrospective　I　don't　know；　but　it　does。　　The　last　few　weeks　of　my　diary　are　of　minimum　interest。　　The　breaking　off　of　the　engagement　between　Lupin　and　Daisy　Mutlar　has　made　him　a　different　being；　and　Carrie　a　rather　depressing　companion。　　She　was　a　little　dull　last　Saturday；　and　I　thought　to　cheer　her　up　by　reading　some　extracts　from　my　diary；　but　she　walked　out　of　the　room　in　the　middle　of　the　reading；　without　a　word。　　On　her　return；　I　said：　〃Did　my　diary　bore　you；　darling？〃

She　replied；　to　my　surprise：　　〃I　really　wasn't　listening；　dear。　　I　was　obliged　to　leave　to　give　instructions　to　the　laundress。　　In　consequence　of　some　stuff　she　puts　in　the　water；　two　more　of　Lupin's　coloured　shirts　have　run　and　he　says　he　won't　wear　them。〃

I　said：　　〃Everything　is　Lupin。　　It's　all　Lupin；　Lupin；　Lupin。　There　was　not　a　single　button　on　my　shirt　yesterday；　but　I　made　no　complaint。〃

Carrie　simply　replied：　　〃You　should　do　as　all　other　men　do；　and　wear　studs。　　In　fact；　I　never　saw　anyone　but　you　wear　buttons　on　the　shirt…fronts。〃

I　said：　　〃I　certainly　wore　none　yesterday；　for　there　were　none　on。〃

Another　thought　that　strikes　me　is　that　Gowing　seldom　calls　in　the　evening；　and　Cummings　never　does。　　I　fear　they　don't　get　on　well　with　Lupin。

December　18。　…　Yesterday　I　was　in　a　retrospective　vein　…　to…day　it　is　PROSPECTIVE。　　I　see　nothing　but　clouds；　clouds；　clouds。　　Lupin　is　perfectly　intolerable　over　the　Daisy　Mutlar　business。　　He　won't　say　what　is　the　cause　of　the　breach。　　He　is　evidently　condemning　her　conduct；　and　yet；　if　we　venture　to　agree　with　him；　says　he　won't　hear　a　word　against　her。　　So　what　is　one　to　do？　　Another　thing　which　is　disappointing　to　me　is；　that　Carrie　and　Lupin　take　no　interest　whatever　in　my　diary。

I　broached　the　subject　at　the　breakfast…table　to…day。　　I　said：　　〃I　was　in　hopes　that；　if　anything　ever　happened　to　me；　the　diary　would　be　an　endless　source　of　pleasure　to　you　both；　to　say　nothing　of　the　chance　of　the　remuneration　which　may　accrue　from　its　being　published。〃

Both　Carrie　and　Lupin　burst　out　laughing。　　Carrie　was　sorry　for　this；　I　could　see；　for　she　said：　　〃I　did　not　mean　to　be　rude；　dear　Charlie；　but　truly　I　do　not　think　your　diary　would　sufficiently　interest　the　public　to　be　taken　up　by　a　publisher。〃

I　replied：　　〃I　am　sure　it　would　prove　quite　as　interesting　as　some　of　the　ridiculous　reminiscences　that　have　been　published　lately。　Besides；　it's　the　diary　that　makes　the　man。　　Where　would　Evelyn　and　Pepys　have　been　if　it　had　not　been　for　their　diaries？〃

Carrie　said　I　was　quite　a　philosopher；　but　Lupin；　in　a　jeering　tone；　said：　　〃If　it　had　been　written　on　larger　paper；　Guv。；　we　might　get　a　fair　price　from　a　butterman　for　it。〃

As　I　am　in　the　prospective　vein；　I　vow　the　end　of　this　year　will　see　the　end　of　my　diary。

December　19。　…　The　annual　invitation　came　to　spend　Christmas　with　Carrie's　mother　…　the　usual　family　festive　gathering　to　which　we　always　look　forward。　　Lupin　declined　to　go。　　I　was　astounded；　and　expressed　my　surprise　and　disgust。　　Lupin　then　obliged　us　with　the　following　Radical　speech：　　〃I　hate　a　family　gathering　at　Christmas。　What　does　it　mean？　　Why　someone　says：　　'Ah！　we　miss　poor　Uncle　James；　who　was　here　last　year；'　and　we　all　begin　to　snivel。　Someone　else　says：　　'It's　two　years　since　poor　Aunt　Liz　used　to　sit　in　that　corner。'　　Then　we　all　begin　to　snivel　again。　　Then　another　gloomy　relation　says　'Ah！　　I　wonder　whose　turn　it　will　be　next？'　Then　we　all　snivel　again；　and　proceed　to　eat　and　drink　too　much；　and　they　don't　discover　until　I　get　up　that　we　have　been　seated　thirteen　at　dinner。〃

December　20。　…　Went　to　Smirksons'；　the　drapers；　in　the　Strand；　who　this　year　have　turned　out　everything　in　the　shop　and　devoted　the　whole　place　to　the　sale　of　Christmas　cards。　　Shop　crowded　with　people；　who　seemed　to　take　up　the　cards　rather　roughly；　and；　after　a　hurried　glance　at　them；　throw　them　down　again。　　I　remarked　to　one　of　the　young　persons　serving；　that　carelessness　appeared　to　be　a　disease　with　some　purchasers。　　The　observation　was　scarcely　out　of　my　mouth；　when　my　thick　coat…sleeve　caught　against　a　large　pile　of　expensive　cards　in　boxes　one　on　top　of　the　other；　and　threw　them　down。　　The　manager　came　forward；　looking　very　much　annoyed；　and　picking　up　several　cards　from　the　ground；　said　to　one　of　the　assistants；　with　a　palpable　side…glance　at　me：　　〃Put　these　amongst　the　sixpenny　goods；　they　can't　be　sold　for　a　shilling　now。〃　　The　result　was；　I　felt　it　my　duty　to　buy　some　of　these　damaged　cards。

I　had　to　buy　more　and　pay　more　than　intended。　　Unfortunately　I　did　not　examine　them　all；　and　when　I　got　home　I　discovered　a　vulgar　card　with　a　picture　of　a　fat　nurse　with　two　babies；　one　black　and　the　other　white；　and　the　words：　　〃We　wish　Pa　a　Merry　Christmas。〃　　I　tore　up　the　card　and　threw　it　away。　　Carrie　said　the　great　disadvantage　of　going　out　in　Society　and　increasing　the　number　of　our　friends　was；　that　we　should　have　to　send　out　nearly　two　dozen　cards　this　year。

December　21。　…　To　save　the　postman　a　miserable　Christmas；　we　follow　the　example　of　all　unselfish　people；　and　send　out　our　cards　early。　Most　of　the　cards　had　finger…marks；　which　I　did　not　notice　at　night。　　I　shall　buy　all　future　cards　in　the　daytime。　　Lupin　（who；　ever　since　he　has　had　the　appointment　with　a　stock　and　share　broker；　does　not　seem　over…scrupulous　in　his　dealings）　told　me　never　to　rub　out　the　pencilled　price　on　the　backs　of　the　cards。　　I　asked　him　why。　　Lupin　said：　　〃Suppose　your　card　is　marked　9d。　Well；　all　you　have　to　do　is　to　pencil　a　3　…　and　a　long　down…stroke　after　it　…　in　FRONT　of　the　ninepence；　and　people　will　think　you　have　given　five　times　the　price　for　it。〃

In　the　evening　Lupin　was　very　low…spirited；　and　I　reminded　him　that　behind　the　clouds　the　sun　was　shining。　　He　said：　　〃Ugh！　it　never　shines　on　me。〃　　I　said：　　〃Stop；　Lupin；　my　boy；　you　are　worried　about　Daisy　Mutlar。　　Don't　think　of　her　any　more。　　You　ought　to　congratulate　yourself　on　having　got　off　a　very　bad　bargain。　　Her　notions　are　far　too　grand　for　our　simple　tastes。〃　　He　jumped　up　and　said：　　〃I　won't　allow　one　word　to　be　uttered　against　her。　　She's　worth　the　whole　bunch　of　your　friends　put　together；　that　inflated；　sloping…head　of　a　Perkupp　included。〃　　I　left　the　room　with　silent　dignity；　but　caught　my　foot　in　the　mat。

December　23。　…　I　exchanged　no　words　with　Lupin　in　the　morning；　but　as　he　seemed　to　be　in　exuberant　spirits　in　the　evening；　I　ventured　to　ask　him　where　he　intended　to　spend　his　Christmas。　　He　replied：　〃Oh；　most　likely　at　the　Mutlars'。〃

In　wonderment；　I　said：　　〃What！　after　your　engagement　has　been　broken　off？〃

Lupin　said：　　〃Who　said　it　is　off？〃

I　said：　　〃You　have　given　us　both　to　understand　…　〃

He　interrupted　me　by　saying：　　〃Well；　never　mind　what　I　said。　　IT　IS　ON　AGAIN　…　THERE！〃



CHAPTER　XIII。



I　receive　an　insulting　Christmas　card。　　We　spend　a　pleasant　Christmas　at　Carrie's　mother's。　　A　Mr。　Moss　is　rather　too　free。　　A　boisterous　evening；　during　which　I　am　struck　in　the　dark。　　I　receive　an　extraordinary　letter　from　Mr。　Mutlar；　senior；　respecting　Lupin。　　We　miss　drinking　out　the　Old　Year。


December　24。　…　I　am　a　poor　man；　but　I　would　gladly　give　ten　shillings　to　find　out　who　sent　me　the　insulting　Christmas　card　I　received　this　morning。　　I　never　insult　people；　why　should　they　insult　me？　　The　worst　part　of　the　transaction　is；　that　I　find　myself　suspecting　all　my　friends。　　The　handwriting　on　the　envelope　is　evidently　disguised；　being　written　sloping　the　wrong　way。　　I　cannot　think　either　Gowing　or　Cummings　would　do　such　a　mean　thing。　Lupin　denied　all　knowledge　of　it；　and　I　believe　him；　although　I　disapprove　of　his　laughing　and　sympathising　with　the　offender。　　Mr。　Franching　would　be　above　such　an　act；　and　I　don't　think　any　of　the　Mutlars　would　descend　to　such　a　course。　　I　wonder　if　Pitt；　that　impudent　clerk　at　the　office；　did　it？　　Or　Mrs。　Birrell；　the　charwoman；　or　Burwin…Fosselton？　　The　writing　is　too　good　for　the　former。

Christmas　Day。　…　We　caught　the　10。20　train　at　Paddington；　and　spent　a　pleasant　day　at　Carrie's　mother's。　　The　country　was　quite　nice　and　pleasant；　although　the　roads　were　sloppy。　　We　dined　in　the　middle　of　the　day；　just　ten　of　us；　and　talked　over　old　times。　　If　everybody　had　a　nice；　UNinterfering　mother…in…law；　such　as　I　have；　what　a　deal　of　happiness　there　would　be　in　the　world。　　Being　all　in　good　spirits；　I　proposed　her　health；　and　I　made；　I　think；　a　very　good　speech。

I　concluded；　rather　neatly；　by　saying：　　〃On　an　occasion　like　this　…　whether　relatives；　friends；　or　acquaintances；　…　we　are　all　inspired　with　good　feelings　towards　each　other。　　We　are　of　one　mind；　and　think　only　of　love　and　friendship。　　Those　who　have　quarrelled　with　absent　friends　should　kiss　and　make　it　up。　　Those　who　happily　have　not　fallen　out；　can　kiss　all　the　same。〃