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through life in perfect ease and good…humour。  The
hottest suns of India never heated his temper; and the
Walcheren ague never shook it。  He walked up to a battery
with just as much indifference as to a dinner…table; had
dined on horse…flesh and turtle with equal relish and
appetite; and had an old mother; Mrs。 O'Dowd of
O'Dowdstown indeed; whom he had never disobeyed
but when he ran away and enlisted; and when he persisted
in marrying that odious Peggy Malony。
Peggy was one of five sisters; and eleven children of the
noble house of Glenmalony; but her husband; though her
own cousin; was of the mother's side; and so had not the
inestimable advantage of being allied to the Malonys;
whom she believed to be the most famous family in the
world。  Having tried nine seasons at Dublin and two at
Bath and Cheltenham; and not finding a partner for life;
Miss Malony ordered her cousin Mick to marry her when
she was about thirty…three years of age; and the honest
fellow obeying; carried her off to the West Indies; to
preside over the ladies of the th regiment; into which he
had just exchanged。
Before Mrs。 O'Dowd was half an hour in Amelia's (or
indeed in anybody else's) company; this amiable lady told
all her birth and pedigree to her new friend。  〃My dear;〃
said she; good…naturedly; 〃it was my intention that Garge
should be a brother of my own; and my sister Glorvina
would have suited him entirely。  But as bygones are
bygones; and he was engaged to yourself; why; I'm
determined to take you as a sister instead; and to look upon
you as such; and to love you as one of the family。  Faith;
you've got such a nice good…natured face and way widg
you; that I'm sure we'll agree; and that you'll be an
addition to our family anyway。〃
〃'Deed and she will;〃 said O'Dowd; with an approving
air; and Amelia felt herself not a little amused and
grateful to be thus suddenly introduced to so large a
party of relations。
〃We're all good fellows here;〃 the Major's lady continued。
〃There's not a regiment in the service where you'll
find a more united society nor a more agreeable mess…
room。  There's no quarrelling; bickering; slandthering; nor
small talk amongst us。  We all love each other。〃
〃Especially Mrs。 Magenis;〃 said George; laughing。
〃Mrs。 Captain Magenis and me has made up; though
her treatment of me would bring me gray hairs with
sorrow to the grave。〃
〃And you with such a beautiful front of black; Peggy;
my dear;〃 the Major cried。
〃Hould your tongue; Mick; you booby。  Them husbands
are always in the way; Mrs。 Osborne; my dear; and as
for my Mick; I often tell him he should never open his
mouth but to give the word of command; or to put meat
and drink into it。  I'll tell you about the regiment; and
warn you when we're alone。  Introduce me to your brother
now; sure he's a mighty fine man; and reminds me of me
cousin; Dan Malony (Malony of Ballymalony; my dear;
you know who mar'ied Ophalia Scully; of Oystherstown;
own cousin to Lord Poldoody)。  Mr。 Sedley; sir; I'm
deloighted to be made known te ye。  I suppose you'll dine
at the mess to…day。  (Mind that divvle of a docther; Mick;
and whatever ye du; keep yourself sober for me party
this evening。)〃
〃It's the 150th gives us a farewell dinner; my love;〃
interposed the Major; 〃but we'll easy get a card for Mr。
Sedley。〃
〃Run Simple (Ensign Simple; of Ours; my dear Amelia。
I forgot to introjuice him to ye)。  Run in a hurry; with
Mrs。 Major O'Dowd's compliments to Colonel Tavish;
and Captain Osborne has brought his brothernlaw down;
and will bring him to the 150th mess at five o'clock sharp
when you and I; my dear; will take a snack here; if you
like。〃  Before Mrs。 O'Dowd's speech was concluded; the
young Ensign was trotting downstairs on his commission。
〃Obedience is the soul of the army。  We will go to our
duty while Mrs。 O'Dowd will stay and enlighten you;
Emmy;〃 Captain Osborne said; and the two gentlemen;
taking each a wing of the Major; walked out with that
officer; grinning at each other over his head。
And; now having her new friend to herself; the impetuous
Mrs: O'Dowd proceeded to pour out such a
quantity of information as no poor little woman's memory
could ever tax itself to bear。  She told Amelia a thousand
particulars relative to the very numerous family of which
the amazed young lady found herself a member。  〃Mrs。
Heavytop; the Colonel's wife; died in Jamaica of the
yellow faver and a broken heart comboined; for the horrud
old Colonel; with a head as bald as a cannon…ball; was
making sheep's eyes at a half…caste girl there。  Mrs。
Magenis; though without education; was a good woman;
but she had the divvle's tongue; and would cheat her own
mother at whist。  Mrs。 Captain Kirk must turn up her
lobster eyes forsooth at the idea of an honest round game
(wherein me fawther; as pious a man as ever went to
church; me uncle Dane Malony; and our cousin the
Bishop; took a hand at loo; or whist; every night of their
lives)。  Nayther of 'em's goin' with the regiment this time;〃
Mrs。 O'Dowd added。  〃Fanny Magenis stops with her
mother; who sells small coal and potatoes; most likely;
in Islington…town; hard by London; though she's always
bragging of her father's ships; and pointing them out to us
as they go up the river:  and Mrs。 Kirk and her children
will stop here in Bethesda Place; to be nigh to her favourite
preacher; Dr。 Ramshorn。  Mrs。 Bunny's in an interesting
situationfaith; and she always is; thenand has
given the Lieutenant seven already。  And Ensign Posky's
wife; who joined two months before you; my dear; has
quarl'd with Tom Posky a score of times; till you can
hear'm all over the bar'ck (they say they're come to
broken pleets; and Tom never accounted for his black oi);
and she'll go back to her mother; who keeps a ladies'
siminary at Richmondbad luck to her for running away
from it!  Where did ye get your finishing; my dear?  I had
moin; and no expince spared; at Madame Flanahan's; at
Ilyssus Grove; Booterstown; near Dublin; wid a Marchioness
to teach us the true Parisian pronunciation; and a retired
Mejor…General of the French service to put us
through the exercise。〃
Of this incongruous family our astonished Amelia found
herself all of a sudden a member:  with Mrs。 O'Dowd as
an elder sister。  She was presented to her other female
relations at tea…time; on whom; as she was quiet; good…
natured; and not too handsome; she made rather an
agreeable impression until the arrival of the gentlemen from
the mess of the 150th; who all admired her so; that her
sisters began; of course; to find fault with her。
〃I hope Osborne has sown his wild oats;〃 said Mrs。
Magenis to Mrs。 Bunny。  〃If a reformed rake makes a
good husband; sure it's she will have the fine chance with
Garge;〃 Mrs。 O'Dowd remarked to Posky; who had lost
her position as bride in the regiment; and was quite angry
with the usurper。  And as for Mrs。 Kirk:  that disciple of
Dr。 Ramshorn put one or two leading professional
questions to Amelia; to see whether she was awakened;
whether she was a professing Christian and so forth; and
finding from the simplicity of Mrs。 Osborne's replies that
she was yet in utter darkness; put into her hands three
little penny books with pictures; viz。; the 〃Howling
Wilderness;〃 the 〃Washerwoman of Wandsworth Common;〃
and the 〃British Soldier's best Bayonet;〃 which; bent upon
awakening her before she slept; Mrs。 Kirk begged Amelia
to read that night ere she went to bed。
But all the men; like good fellows as they were; rallied
round their comrade's pretty wife; and paid her their
court with soldierly gallantry。  She had a little triumph;
which flushed her spirits and made her eyes sparkle。
George was proud of her popularity; and pleased with the
manner (which was very gay and graceful; though naive
and a little timid) with which she received the gentlemen's
 attentions; and answered their compliments。  And
he in his uniformhow much handsomer he was than
any man in the room!  She felt that he was affectionately
watching her; and glowed with pleasure at his kindness。  〃I
will make all his friends welcome;〃 she resolved in her
heart。  〃I will love all as I love him。  I will always try and
be gay and good…humoured and make his home happy。〃
The regiment indeed adopted her with acclamation。
The Captains approved; the Lieutenants applauded; the
Ensigns admired。  Old Cutler; the Doctor; made one or
two jokes; which; being professional; need not be repeated;
and Cackle; the Assistant M。D。 of Edinburgh; condescended
to examine her upon leeterature; and tried her
with his three best French quotations。  Young Stubble went
about from man to man whispering; 〃Jove; isn't she a
pretty gal?〃 and never took his eyes off her except when
the negus came in。
As for Captain Dobbin; he never so much as spoke to
her during the whole evening。  But he and Captain Porter
of the l50th took home Jos to the hotel; who was in a
very maudlin state; and had told his tiger…hunt story with
great effect; both at the mess…table and at the soiree; to
Mrs。 O'Dowd in her turban and bird of paradise。  Having
put the Collector into the hands of his servant; Dobbin
loitered about; smoking his cigar before the

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