lin mclean(林·迈林恩)-第38节
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she has talked about the flowers and shade where the old folks lie； and
where she wants him to be alongside of them。 I've not let her look at him
to…day； forwell； she might get the way he looks now on her memory。 But
I'd like to show you my idea before going further。〃
Lin had indeed chosen a beautiful place； and so I told him at the first
sight of it。
〃That's all I wanted to know；〃 said he。 〃I'll fix the rest。〃
I believe he never once told Jessamine the body could not travel so far
as Kentucky。 I think he let her live and talk and grieve from hour to hour；
and then led her that afternoon to the nook of sunlight and sheltering trees；
and won her consent to it thus； for there was Nate laid； and there she went
to sit； alone。 Lin did not go with her on those walks。
But now something new was on the fellow's mind。 He was plainly
occupied with it； whatever else he was doing； and he had some active
cattle…work。 On my asking him if Jessamine Buckner had decided when to
return east； he inquired of me； angrily； what was there in Kentucky she
could not have in Wyoming？ Consequently； though I surmised what he
must be debating； I felt myself invited to keep out of his confidence； and I
did so。 My advice to him would have been ill received； andas was soon
to be made plain would have done his delicacy injustice。 Next； one
morning he and Billy were gone。 My first thought was that he had rejoined
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Jessamine at Mrs。 Pierce's； where she was； and left me away over here on
Bear Creek； where we had come for part of a week。
But stuck in my hat…band I found a pencilled farewell。
Now Mr。 McLean constructed perhaps three letters in the yearpainful；
serious eventslike an interview with some important person with whom
your speech must decorously flow。 No matter to whom he was writing； it
froze all nature stiff in each word he achieved； and his bald business
diction and wild archaic penmanship made documents that I value among
my choicest correspondence； this one； especially：
〃Wensday four a。 m。
〃DEAR SIR this is to Inform you that i have gone to Separ on
important bisness where i expect to meet you on your arrival at same point。
You will confer a favor and oblidge undersigned by Informing Miss J。
Buckner of date （if soon） you fix for returning per stage to Separ as Miss J。
Buckner may prefer company for the trip being long and poor
accommodations。
Yours &c。 L。 McLEAN。〃
This seemed to point but one way； and （uncharitable though it sound）
that this girl； so close upon bereavement； should be able to give herself to
a lover was distasteful to me。
But； most extraordinary； Lin had gone away without a word to her； and
she was left as plainly in the dark as myself。 After her first frank surprise
at learning of his departure； his name did not come again from her lips； at
any rate to me。 Good Mrs。 Pierce dropped a word one day as to her
opinion of men who deceive women into expecting something from them。
〃Let us talk straight；〃 said I。 〃Do you mean that Miss Buckner says
that； or that you say it？〃
〃Why； the poor thing says nothing！〃 exclaimed the lady。 〃It's like a
man to think she would。 And I'll not say anything； either； for you're all just
the same； except when you're worse； and that Lin McLean is going to
know what I think of him next time we meet。〃
He did。 On that occasion the kind old dame told him he was the best
boy in the country； and stood on her toes and kissed him。 But meanwhile
we did not know why he had gone； and Jessamine （though he was never
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subtle or cruel enough to plan such a thing） missed him； and thus in her
loneliness had the chance to learn how much he had been to her。
Though pressed to stay indefinitely beneath Mrs。 Pierce's hospitable
roof； the girl； after lingering awhile； and going often to that nook in the
hill by Riverside； took her departure。 She was restless； yet clung to the
neighborhood。 It was with a wrench that she fixed her going when I told
her of my own journey back to the railroad。 In Buffalo she walked to the
court…house and stood a moment as if bidding this site of one life…memory
farewell； and from the stage she watched and watched the receding town
and mountains。 〃It's awful to be leaving him！〃 she said。 〃Excuse me for
acting so in front of you。〃 With the poignant emptiness overcoming her in
new guise； she blamed herself for not waiting in Illinois until he had been
sent to Joliet； for then； so near home； he must have gone with her。
How could I tell her that Nate's death was the best end that could have
come to him？ But I said： 〃You know you don't think it was your fault。 You
know you would do the same again。〃 She listened to me； but her eyes had
no interest in them。 〃He never knew pain；〃 I pursued； 〃and he died doing
the thing he liked best in the world。 He was happy and enjoying himself；
and you gave him that。 It's bad only for you。 Some would talk religion； but
I can't。〃
〃Yes；〃 she answered； 〃I can think of him so glad to be free。 Thank you
for saying that about religion。 Do you think it's wicked not to want it to
hate it sometimes？ I hope it's not。 Thank you； truly。〃
During our journey she summoned her cheerfulness； and all that she
said was wholesome。 In the robust； coarse soundness of her fibre； the
wounds of grief would heal and leave no sicknessperhaps no higher
sensitiveness to human sufferings than her broad native kindness already
held。 We touched upon religion again； and my views shocked her
Kentucky notions； for I told her Kentucky locked its religion in an iron
cage called Sunday； which made it very savage and fond of biting
strangers。 Now and again I would run upon that vein of deep…seated
prejudice that was in her character like some fine wire。 In short； our
disagreements brought us to terms more familiar than we had reached
hitherto。 But when at last Separ came； where was I？ There stood Mr。
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McLean waiting； and at the suddenness of him she had no time to
remember herself； but stepped out of the stage with such a smile that the
ardent cow…puncher flushed and beamed。
〃So I went away without telling you goodbye！〃 he began； not wisely。
〃Mrs。 Pierce has been circulating war talk about me； you bet！〃
The maiden in Jessamine spoke instantly。 〃Indeed？ There was no
special obligation for you to call on me； or her to notice if you didn't。〃
〃Oh！〃 said Lin； crestfallen。 〃Yu' sure don't mean that？〃
She looked at him； and was compelled to melt。 〃No； neighbor； I don't
mean it。〃
〃Neighbor！〃 he exclaimed； and again； 〃Neighbor；〃 much pleased。
〃Now it would sound kind o' pleasant if you'd call me that for a steady
thing。〃
〃It would sound kind of odd； Mr。 McLean； thank you。〃
〃Blamed if I understand her；〃 cried Lin。 〃Blamed if I do。 But you're
going to understand me sure quick！〃 He rushed inside the station； spoke
sharply to the agent； and returned in the same tremor of elation that had
pushed him to forwardness with his girl； and with which he seemed near
bursting。 〃I've been here three days to meet you。 There's a letter； and I
expect I know what's in it。 Tubercle has got it here。〃 He took it from the
less hasty agent and thrust it in Jessamine's hand。 〃You needn't to fear。
Please open it； it's good news this time； you bet！〃 He watched it in her
hand as the boy of eight watches the string of a Christmas parcel he wishes
his father would cut instead of so carefully untie。 〃Open it；〃 he urged again。
〃Keeping me waiting this way！〃
〃What in the world does all this mean？〃 crie
