the days of my life-第10节

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　between　my　feet；　I　landed　her　a　most　severe　kick　upon　the　shins。
It　was　all　very　amusing；　and　would　have　done　no　harm　had　the　business　stopped　there。　But　it　did　not。　Before　I　leave　20　Hanover　Square；　however；　I　may　mention　that　more　than　a　quarter　of　a　century　afterwards　I　revisited　it　under　strangely　different　circumstances。　The　house　is　now　the　home　of　various　societies；　and　in　the　offices　of　one　of　these　societies　I　was　called　upon　to　preside　as　Chairman　of　the　mittee　of　the　Society　of　Authors　upon　the　occasion　of　a　General　Meeting。　Of　course　everything　was　changed；　but　it　seemed　to　me　that　I　recognised　the　marble　mantelpieces。
My　acquaintance　with　Lady　Paulet　gave　me　the　entree　to　the　spiritualistic　society　of　the　day。　Perhaps　some　of　them　had　hopes　that　I　might　develop　into　a　first…class　medium。　Among　the　seances　that　I　attended　were　some　at　a　private　house　in　Green　Street。　Here　I　witnessed　remarkable　things。　The　medium　was　a　young　lady；　not　merely　in　the　conventional　sense　of　the　term；　who　evidently　believed　in　her　mission　and　was　not　paid。　She　sank　into　a　trance　secured　by　many　tests；　and　“strange　things　happened”　or　seemed　to　happen。　Thus；　to　leave　out　the　minor　manifestations；　two　young　women　of　great　beauty　—　or　perhaps　I　should　say　young　spirits　—　one　dark　and　the　other　fair；　appeared　in　the　lighted　room。　I　conversed　with　and　touched　them　both；　and　noted　that　their　flesh　seemed　to　be　firm　but　cold。　I　remember　that；　being　a　forind；　I　even　asked　the　prettier　of　the　two　to　allow　me　to　give　her　a　kiss。　She　smiled　but　did　not　seem　to　be　at　all　annoyed；　but　I　never　got　the　kiss。　I　think　she　remarked　that　it　was　not　permissible。
She　was　draped　in　a　kind　of　white　garment　which　covered　her　head；　and　I　asked　her　to　allow　me　to　see　her　hair。　She　pushed　up　the　white　drapery　from　her　forehead；　remarking　sweetly　that　if　I　would　look　I　should　see　that　she　had　no　hair；　and　in　fact　she　appeared　to　be　quite　bald。　A　minute　or　two　later；　however；　she　had　long　and　beautiful　hair　which　flowed　all　about　her。
Afterwards　either　she　or　the　other　apparition　remarked　that　she　was　tired。　Thereon　her　body　seemed　to　shrink；　with　the　result　that；　as　her　head　remained　where　it　was；　the　neck　elongated　enormously；　after　the　fashion　of　Alice　in　Wonderland。　Then　she　fell　backwards　and　vanished　altogether。
To　this　day　I　wonder　whether　the　whole　thing　was　illusion；　or；　if　not；　what　it　can　have　been。　Of　one　thing　I　am　certain　—　that　spirits；　as　we　understand　the　term；　had　nothing　to　do　with　the　matter。　On　the　other　hand　I　do　not　believe　that　it　was　a　case　of　trickery；　rather　I　am　inclined　to　think　that　certain　forces　with　which　we　are　at　present　unacquainted　were　set　loose　that　produced　phenomena　which；　perhaps；　had　their　real　origin　in　our　own　minds；　but　nevertheless　were　true　phenomena。
Sometimes　these　phenomena　were　purely　physical。　Thus　I　and　some　other　of　the　Scoones　students’　arranged　a　seance　at　the　house　of　the　uncle　of　one　of　them　in　St。　James’s　Place；　where　no　such　thing　had　ever　been　held　before。　The　medium；　a　feeble　little　man；　whose　name；　I　think；　was　Edwards；　arrived　and　at　the　door　was　pounced　upon　by　two　of　the　strongest　young　men　present；　who　never　let　go　of　him　until　the　end　of　the　proceedings。　These　were　various　and　tumultuous。　We　sat　in　the　darkened　dining…room　round　the　massive　table；　which　presently　began　to　skip　like　a　lamp。　Lights　floated　about　the　room；　and　with　them　a　file　of　Morning　Posts　which　normally　reposed　in　a　corner。　Cold　little　hands　picked　at　the　studs　in　our　shirts；　and　the　feather　fans　off　the　mantelpiece　floated　to　and　fro；　performing　their　natural　office　upon　our　heated　brows。　Our　host；　Mr。　Norris；　whispered　to　me　that　he　was　receiving　these　attentions。
“Catch　hold　of　the　thing；”　I　said；　letting　go　of　his　hand。
He　did　so　and　thrust　his　fingers　through　the　leather　loop　of　the　fan。　Then　followed　a　great　struggle；　for　somebody　or　something　located　near　the　ceiling　strove　to　tear　it　away　from　him。
“Stick　to　it；”　I　said；　and　there　followed　a　crack。
“Confound　them！　they　have　broken　my　fan；”　said　Mr。　Norris；　and　passed　me　the　round　and　carved　ivory　handle；　which　I　felt　so　distinctly　that　I　could　have　sworn　that　it　was　separated　from　the　feather　top。　I　gave　it　back　to　him　and　he　threw　it　down　upon　the　table；　remarking　that　as　the　“spirits”　had　broken　it　they　might　as　well　mend　it　again。　When　the　light　was　turned　on　later　there　before　him　lay　the　fan　—　but　unbroken　and　even　unruffled。
This　was　curious　but　by　no　means　the　cream　of　the　proceedings。　We　became　aware　that　heavy　articles　were　on　the　move；　and　the　light　showed　us　that　we　were　not　mistaken。　There　in　the　centre　of　the　dining…table；　piled　one　upon　the　other；　like　Ossa　upon　Pelion；　were　the　two　massive　dining…room　arm…chairs；　and　on　the　top　of　these；　reaching　nearly　to　the　ceiling；　appeared　Mr。　Norris’s　priceless　china　candelabra。
How　were　those　massive　chairs；　which　it　would　have　taken　two　skilled　and　careful　men　to　lift　to　that　height；　passed　over　our　heads　without　our　knowing　it　and　set　one　upon　another？　Even　if　the　medium；　who　as　I　have　said　was　held　by　the　two　strongest　of　the　sitters；　friends　of　my　own　who　were　above　suspicion；　were　free；　he　could　never　have　lifted　those　chairs。　Even　if　he　had　had　a　confederate　they　could　never　have　lifted　them；　and　certainly　could　not　have　arranged　the　china　upon　the　top　of　the　pile。
I　gave　it　up　then　and；　after　assuring　the　reader　that　these　things　happened　exactly　as　stated；　I　give　it　up　now。　All　I　can　do　is　to　fall　back　upon　my　hypothesis　that　some　existent　but　unknown　force　was　let　loose　which　produced　these　phenomena。
Whatever　may　be　the　true　explanation；　on　one　point　I　am　quite　sure；　namely　that　the　whole　business　is　mischievous　and　to　be　discouraged。　Bearing　in　mind　its　effect　upon　my　own　nerves；　never　would　I　allow　any　young　person　over　whom　I　had　control　to　attend　a　seance。　I　am　well　aware　that　there　are　many　different　grades　of　spiritualism。　The　name　covers　such　occurrences　as　I　have　described　and　the　researches　of　wise　scientists　like　Sir　Oliver　Lodge。　Lastly；　there　is　an　even　higher　variant　of　preternatural　experience　to　which　it　may　be　applied　—　I　mean　that　of　the　munion　of　the　individual　soul　still　resident　on　earth　with　other　souls　that　have　passed　from　us；　this；　too；　without　the　intervention　of　any　medium；　but　as　it　were　face　to　face　in　those　surrounding　solitudes　that；　unless　we　dream　—　as　is　possible；　for　the　nerves　and　the　imagination　play　strange　tricks　—　from　time　to　time　they　find　the　strength　to　travel。
In　short；　spiritualism　should　be　left　to　the　expert　and　earnest　investigator；　or　bee　the　secret　fort　of　such　few　hearts　as　can　rise　now　and　again　beyond　the　world；　making　as　it　were　their　trial　flights　towards　that　place　where；　as　we　hope；　their　rest　remaih。　To　most　people　that　door　should　remain　sealed；　for　beyond　it　they　will　find　only　what　is　harmful　and　unwholesome。
Since　those　days　nearly　forty　years　ago　I　have　never　attended　a　seance；　nor　do　I　mean　ever　to　do　so　more。
During　this　time　that　I　was　at　Scoones’　a　great　event　happened。　I　fell　truly　and　earnestly　in　love。　If　all　goes　well；　this；　I　suppose；　is　one　of　the　best　things　that　can　happen　to　a　young　fellow。　It　steadies　him　and　gives　him　an　object　in　life：　someone　for　whom　to　work。　If　all　goes　ill；　it　is　one　of　the　worst；　for　then　the　reverse　is　apt　to　e　about。　It　unsteadies　him；　makes　him　reckless；　and　perhaps　throws　him　in　the　way　of　undesirable　adventures。　In　my　case；　in　the　end　all　went　wrong；　or　seemed　to　do　so　at　the　time。
I　was　taken　by　a　friend　to　a　ball　at　Richmond；　who　gave　it　I　have　long　forgotten。　There　I　saw　a　very　beautiful　young　lady　a　few　years　older　than　myself　to　whom　I　was　instantly　and　overwhelmingly　attracted。　I　say　beautiful　advisedly；　for　to　my　mind　she　was　one　of　the　three　really　lovely　women　whom　I　have　seen　in　my　life。　The　second　was　the　late　Duchess　of　Leinster；　and　the　third　was　a　village　girl　at　Bradenham　who　was　reported　to　be　the　daughter　of　a　gentleman。　She；　poor　thing；　died　quite　young。
At　length　the　ball　came　to　an　end　and　I　escorted　this　lady　back　to　her　carriage　—　she　was　driving　back　to　London　alone　—　with　the　intelligent　object　of　ascertaining　where　she　lived。　In　this；　by　the　way；　I　failed；　either　I　did　not　catch　the　address　or　it　was　too　vague　and　general。　Ultimately；　however；　I　overcame　that　difficulty　by　a　well…directed　inquiry　at　a　butcher’s　shop　in　what　I　knew　to　be　the　neighbourhood。　It　occurred　to　me　that　even　goddesses　must　eat。
The　reason　that　I　mention　this　matter　is　that　quite　a　curious　coincidence　is　connected　with　it。　The　house　where　the　ball　took　place　had　a　garden　in　front；　down　which　garden　ran　a　carpeted　path。　At　the　end　of　the　path　a　great　arch　had　been　erected　for　the　occasion；　and　through　this　arch　I　followed　the　young　lady。　Some　thirty…five　years　later　I　was　present　at　her　death…bed　—　for　happily　I　was　able　to　be　of　service　to　her　in　her　later　life　—　and　subsequently；　with　my　wife；　who　had　bee　her　friend　many　years　before；　was　one　of　the　few　mourners　at　her　funeral。　At　the　church　where　this　took　place　it　is　the　custom　to　carry　out　coffins　through　the　big　western　door。　As　I　followed　hers　the　general　aspect　of　the　arch　of　this　door　reminded　me　of　something；　a