da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第25节

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　　〃This　one's　a　dead　hairdresser。　Hoopy！〃
　　The　next　sarcophagus　revealed　itself　to　be　the　last　resting　place　of　an　advertising　account　executive；　the　one　after　that　contained　a　second…hand　car　salesman；　third　class。
　　An　inspection　hatch　let　into　the　floor　suddenly　caught　Ford's　attention；　and　he　squatted　down　to　unfasten　it；　thrashing　away　at　the　clouds　of　freezing　gas　that　threatened　to　envelope　him。
　　A　thought　occurred　to　Arthur。
　　〃If　these　are　just　coffins；〃　he　said；　〃Why　are　they　kept　so　cold？〃
　　〃Or；　indeed；　why　are　they　kept　anyway；〃　said　Ford　tugging　the　hatchway　open。　The　gas　poured　down　through　it。　〃Why　in　fact　is　anyone　going　to　all　the　trouble　and　expense　of　carting　five　thousand　dead　bodies　through　space？〃
　　〃Ten　thousand；〃　said　Arthur；　pointing　at　the　archway　through　which　the　next　chamber　was　dimly　visible。
　　Ford　stuck　his　head　down　through　the　floor　hatchway。　He　looked　up　again。
　　〃Fifteen　thousand；〃　he　said；　〃there's　another　lot　down　there。〃
　　〃Fifteen　million；〃　said　a　voice。
　　〃That's　a　lot；〃　said　Ford；　〃A　lot　a　lot。〃
　　〃Turn　around　slowly；〃　barked　the　voice；　〃and　put　your　hands　up。　Any　other　move　and　I　blast　you　into　tiny　tiny　bits。〃
　　〃Hello？〃　said　Ford；　turning　round　slowly；　putting　his　hands　up　and　not　making　any　other　move。
　　〃Why；〃　said　Arthur　Dent；　〃isn't　anyone　ever　pleased　to　see　us？〃
　　Standing　silhouetted　in　the　doorway　through　which　they　had　entered　the　vault　was　the　man　who　wasn't　pleased　to　see　them。　His　displeasure　was　municated　partly　by　the　barking　hectoring　quality　of　his　voice　and　partly　by　the　viciousness　with　which　he　waved　a　long　silver　Kill…O…Zap　gun　at　them。　The　designer　of　the　gun　had　clearly　not　been　instructed　to　beat　about　the　bush。　〃Make　it　evil；〃　he'd　been　told。　〃Make　it　totally　clear　that　this　gun　has　a　right　end　and　a　wrong　end。　Make　it　totally　clear　to　anyone　standing　at　the　wrong　end　that　things　are　going　badly　for　them。　If　that　means　sticking　all　sort　of　spikes　and　prongs　and　blackened　bits　all　over　it　then　so　be　it。　This　is　not　a　gun　for　hanging　over　the　fireplace　or　sticking　in　the　umbrella　stand；　it　is　a　gun　for　going　out　and　making　people　miserable　with。〃
　　Ford　and　Arthur　looked　at　the　gun　unhappily。
　　The　man　with　the　gun　moved　from　the　door　and　circled　round　them。　As　he　came　into　the　light　they　could　see　his　black　and　gold　uniform　on　which　the　buttons　were　so　highly　polished　that　they　shone　with　an　intensity　that　would　have　made　an　approaching　motorist　flash　his　lights　in　annoyance。
　　He　gestured　at　the　door。
　　〃Out；〃　he　said。　People　who　can　supply　that　amount　of　fire　power　don't　need　to　supply　verbs　as　well。　Ford　and　Arthur　went　out；　closely　followed　by　the　wrong　end　of　the　Kill…O…Zap　gun　and　the　buttons。
　　Turning　into　the　corridor　they　were　jostled　by　twenty…four　oning　joggers；　now　showered　and　changed；　who　swept　on　past　them　into　the　vault。　Arthur　turned　to　watch　them　in　confusion。
　　〃Move！〃　screamed　their　captor。
　　Arthur　moved。
　　Ford　shrugged　and　moved。
　　In　the　vault　the　joggers　went　to　twenty…four　empty　sarcophagi　along　the　side　wall；　opened　them；　climbed　in；　and　fell　into　twenty…four　dreamless　sleeps。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　24
　　
　　〃Er；　captain。。。〃
　　〃Yes；　Number　One？〃
　　〃Just　heard　a　sort　of　report　thingy　from　Number　Two。〃
　　〃Oh；　dear。〃
　　High　up　in　the　bridge　of　the　ship；　the　Captain　stared　out　into　the　infinite　reaches　of　space　with　mild　irritation。　From　where　he　reclined　beneath　a　wide　domed　bubble　he　could　see　before　and　above　them　the　vast　panorama　of　stars　through　which　they　were　moving　…　a　panorama　that　had　thinned　out　noticably　during　the　course　of　the　voyage。　Turning　and　looking　backwards；　over　the　vast　two…mile　bulk　of　the　ship　he　could　see　the　far　denser　mass　of　stars　behind　them　which　seemed　to　form　almost　a　solid　band。　This　was　the　view　through　the　Galactic　centre　from　which　they　were　travelling；　and　indeed　had　been　travelling　for　years；　at　a　speed　that　he　couldn't　quite　remember　at　the　moment；　but　he　knew　it　was　terribly　fast。　It　was　something　approaching　the　speed　of　something　or　other；　or　was　it　three　times　the　speed　of　something　else？　Jolly　impressive　anyway。　He　peered　into　the　bright　distance　behind　the　ship；　looking　for　something。　He　did　this　every　few　minutes　or　so；　but　never　found　what　he　was　looking　for。　He　didn't　let　it　worry　him　though。　The　scientist　chaps　had　been　very　insistent　that　everything　was　going　to　be　perfectly　alright　providing　nobody　panicked　and　everybody　got　on　and　did　their　bit　in　an　orderly　fashion。
　　He　wasn't　panicking。　As　far　as　he　was　concerned　everything　was　going　splendidly。　He　dabbed　at　his　shoulder　with　a　large　frothy　sponge。　It　crept　back　into　his　mind　that　he　was　feeling　mildly　irritated　about　something。　Now　what　was　all　that　about？　A　slight　cough　alerted　him　to　the　fact　that　the　ship's　first　officer　was　still　standing　nearby。
　　Nice　chap；　Number　One。　Not　of　the　very　brightest；　had　the　odd　spot　of　difficulty　doing　up　his　shoe　laces；　but　jolly　good　officer　material　for　all　that。　The　Captain　wasn't　a　man　to　kick　a　chap　when　he　was　bending　over　trying　to　do　up　his　shoe　laces；　however　long　it　took　him。　Not　like　that　ghastly　Number　Two；　strutting　about　all　over　the　place；　polishing　his　buttons；　issuing　reports　every　hour：　〃Ship's　still　moving；　Captain。〃　〃Still　on　course；　Captain。〃　〃Oxygen　levels　still　being　maintained；　Captain。〃　〃Give　it　a　miss；〃　was　the　Captain's　vote。　Ah　yes；　that　was　the　thing　that　had　been　irritating　him。　He　peered　down　at　Number　One。
　　〃Yes；　Captain；　he　was　shouting　something　or　other　about　having　found　some　prisoners。。。〃
　　The　Captain　thought　about　this。　Seemed　pretty　unlikely　to　him；　but　he　wasn't　one　to　stand　in　his　officers'　way。
　　〃Well；　perhaps　that'll　keep　him　happy　for　a　bit；〃　he　said；　〃He's　always　wanted　some。〃
　　Ford　Prefect　and　Arthur　Dent　trudged　onwards　up　the　ship's　apparently　endless　corridors。　Number　Two　marched　behind　them　barking　the　occasional　order　about　not　making　any　false　moves　or　trying　any　funny　stuff。　They　seemed　to　have　passed　at　least　a　mile　of　continuous　brown　hessian　wall　weave。　Finally　they　reached　a　large　steel　door　which　slid　open　when　Number　Two　shouted　at　it。
　　They　entered。　To　the　eyes　of　Ford　Prefect　and　Arthur　Dent；　the　most　remarkable　thing　about　the　ship's　bridge　was　not　the　fifty　foot　diameter　hemispherical　dome　which　covered　it；　and　through　which　the　dazzling　display　of　stars　shone　down　on　them：　to　people　who　have　eaten　at　the　Restaurant　at　the　End　of　the　Universe；　such　wonders　are　monplace。　Nor　was　it　the　bewildering　array　of　instruments　that　crowded　the　long　circumferential　wall　around　them。　To　Arthur　this　was　exactly　what　spaceships　were　traditionally　supposed　to　look　like；　and　to　Ford　it　looked　thoroughly　antiquated：　it　confirmed　his　suspicions　that　Disaster　Area's　stuntship　had　taken　them　back　at　least　a　million；　if　not　two　million；　years　before　their　own　time。
　　No；　the　thing　that　really　caught　them　off　balance　was　the　bath。
　　The　bath　stood　on　a　six　foot　pedestal　of　rough　hewn　blue　water　crystal　and　was　of　a　baroque　monstrosity　not　often　seen　outside　the　Maximegalon　Museum　of　Diseased　Imaginings。　An　intestinal　jumble　of　plumbing　had　been　picked　out　in　gold　leaf　rather　than　decently　buried　at　midnight　in　an　unmarked　grave；　the　taps　and　shower　attachment　would　have　made　a　gargoyle　jump。
　　As　the　dominant　centrepiece　of　a　starship　bridge　it　was　terribly　wrong；　and　it　was　with　the　embittered　air　of　a　man　who　knew　this　that　Number　Two　approached　it。
　　〃Captain；　sir！〃　he　shouted　through　clenched　teeth　…　a　difficult　trick　but　he'd　had　years　during　which　to　perfect　it。
　　A　large　genial　face　and　a　genial　foam　covered　arm　popped　up　above　the　rim　of　the　monstrous　bath。
　　〃Ah；　hello；　Number　Two；〃　said　the　Captain；　waving　a　cheery　sponge；　〃having　a　nice　day？〃
　　Number　Two　snapped　even　further　to　attention　than　he　already　was。
　　〃I　have　brought　you　the　prisoners　I　located　in　freezer　bay　seven；　sir！〃　he　yapped。
　　Ford　and　Arthur　coughed　in　confusion。
　　〃Er。。。　hello；〃　they　said。
　　The　Captain　beamed　at　them。　So　Number　Two　had　really　found　some　prisoners。　Well；　good　for　him；　thought　the　Captain；　nice　to　see　a　chap　doing　what　he's　best　at。
　　〃Oh；　hello　there；〃　he　said　to　them；　〃Excuse　me　not　getting　up；　having　a　quick　bath。　Well；　jynnan　tonnyx　all　round　then。　Look　in　the　fridge　Number　one。〃
　　〃Certainly　sir。〃
　　It　is　a　curious　fact；　and　one　to　which　no　one　knows　quite　how　much　importance　to　attach；　that　something　like　85％　of　all　known　worlds　in　the　Galaxy；　be　they　primitive　or　highly　advanced；　have　invented　a　drink　called　jynnan　tonnyx；　or　gee…N'N…T'N…ix；　or　jinond…o…nicks；　or　any　one　of　a　thousand　or　more　variations　on　the　same　phonetic　theme。　The　drinks　themselves　are　not　the　same；　and　vary　between　the　Sivolvian　〃chinanto/mnigs〃　which　is　ordinary　water　server　at　slightly　above　room　temperature；　and　the　Gagrakackan　〃tzjin…anthony…ks〃　which　kills　cows　at　a　hundred　paces；　and　in　fact　the　one　mon　factor　between　all　of　them；　beyond　the　fact　that　the　names　sound　the　same；　is　that　they　were　all　invented　and　named　before　the　worlds　concerned　made　contact　with　any　other　worlds。
　　What　can　be　made　of　this　fact？　It　exists　in