sheritepper.necromancer nine-第25节

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hem　worse。
　By　noon　Izia　was　enough　recovered　to　finger　the　healing　places　on　her　legs　with　trembling　hands；　to　seem　to　understand　when　we　told　her　she　was　to　return　to　Yarrel；　even　to　be　eager　to　depart。　Mavin　took　some　time；　more　than　I　thought　necessary；　to　tell　her　that　Dolwys　and　Swolwys　were　〃good　Shifters〃　who　would　see　that　she　was　kept　safe。　She　also　spent　some　time　with　my　cousins；　instructing　them　how　they　should　behave　toward　her　to　avoid　hurting　her　further。　Swolwys　went　into　the　plains　to　fetch　horses。　When　he　returned；　Izia　became　herself　once　more；　walking　about　the　animals；　picking　up　a　foot　to　examine　a　hoof；　all　the　actions　I　had　seen　her　perform　in　Nap's　camp。　So；　they　went　away；　and　Mavin　and　I　were　left　alone。
　〃I　had　thought；〃　she　began　with　a　brooding　stare　into　the　darkness　of　the　Blot；　〃that　we　would　take　the　shape　of　those　two　creatures　you　dispatched　down　there。　I　can　manage　the　duplicate　creature　if　you　can　manage　the　shape　of　the　Fatman。〃
　I　considered　it。　When　we　had　destroyed　Fatman；　we　had　not　much　damaged　the　Fatwagon；　and　I　thought　I　could　figure　out　how　to　run　it。　I　could　not　imagine　taking　the　shape　of　the　Dupies；　however；　and　I　asked　Mavin　how　she　would　manage　that。
　〃I　will　keep　myself　low；　in　the　belly；　I　should　think；　with　bony　plates　around　my　brain。　The　heads　of　the　creature　will　have　to　be　managed　like　puppets。　With　practice；　I　should　be　able　to　make　both　of　them　speak　at　once；　though　that　may　not　be　necessary。〃　Still　she　brooded；　finally　swearing　a　horrible　oath　and　stepping　from　her　perch。　〃I　don't　like　it。　It　is　like　taking　a　shape　of　shame。　The　Guild　of　Midwives　has　much　to　answer　for。''
　〃Not　their　fault；〃　I　said。　〃The　Dupies　said　they　had　been　'saved　from　the　horrible　Midwives。'　I　did　not　understand　what　they　meant　at　the　time。　。
　She　shook　her　head。　〃It　has　to　do　with　the　oaths　the　Midwives　take；　Peter。　With　their　religion；　if　you　will。　I　find　myself　more　in　sympathy　with　it；　the　older　I　grow。〃　She　saw　my　puzzled　look　and　went　on。　〃Do　you　think　you　have　a…a　soul？〃
　Windlow；　Silkhands；　Yarrel　and　I　had　discussed　this　at　Windlow's　tower　in　the　southlands；　in　a　recent　time　which　seemed　very　long　ago。　It　was　old　Windlow　who　had　pointed　out　that　each　of　us　was　conscious　of　being　two　persons；　one　which　did　and　one　which　observed　the　doing。　He　had　told　us　it　was　this　which　made　mankind　different　from　the　animals　we　knew。　So；　I　considered　Mavin's　question　and　said；　〃I　have　more；　perhaps。　than　a　fustigar。　Or　so　Windlow　thought。〃
　〃The　Midwives　believe　in　the　soul。　However；　they　do　not　believe　that　it　is　inborn　in　mankind。　They　believe　it　es　partly　with　the　learning　of　language　（which　mankind　alone　of　the　animals　seems　to　have）　and　partly　from　our　fellowmen；　a　gift　of　human　society　to　each　child。　Do　you　think　that　sensible？〃
　〃I'm　not　sure　I　follow；〃　I　said。　〃You　mean；　if　I　had　been　born　among　fustigars；　and　reared　by　fustigars；　learning　no　language；　I　would　be　more　fustigar　than　human？〃
　〃Something　like　that。　But　more。　The　Midwives　believe　that　only　those　who　perceive　their　own　humanity　and　perceive　that　others　have　the　same　bee　ensouled。　Some　who　look　like　men　can　never　believe　that　others　are　like　themselves。　They　do　not　believe　that　others　are　real。　One　such　was　Mandor。　　　　
　I　nodded。　I　believed　her。　Mandor　had　seen　the　whole　world　as　his　fingernail；　to　be　cut　at　will　and　the　parings　thrown　away。
　〃Huld；　too；〃　she　went　on。　〃Though　he　talks　a　mockery　of　manners。　The　soulless　ones　can　be　well…mannered；　as　a　beast　may　be　well…mannered。　Or　so　say　the　midwives　who　have　studied　the　matter。〃
　〃What　has　this　to　do　with　Dupey？〃
　〃Ah。〃　She　came　to　herself　with　a　start。　〃The　Midwives　take　an　oath；　very　solemn　and　binding；　that　they　will　look　into　the　future　of　each　child　born；　and　if　they　do　not　see　that　one　gaining　a　soul；　then　they　do　not　let　it　live。　It　is　the　Talent　of　the　Midwives　to　see　the　future　in　that　way；　more　narrowly　than　do　Seers；　and　more　reliably。　It　is　called　the　Mercy…gift；　the　gift　the　Midwife　gives　the　child；　to　look　into　the　future　and　find　there　that　it　will　have　gained　a　soul。〃
　〃How　explain　Mandor；　then；　or　Huld？〃
　〃The　great　Houses　want　no　Midwife　at　their　childbeds。　No。　They　care　nothing　for　'souls。'　They　care　only　for　manners；　and　this　they　can　train　into　any　if　they　be　but　strict　enough。　However；　I　do　not　think　the　Dupey　was　the　offshoot　of　any　great　House。　More　likely　he　was　scavenged　from　the　Midwives；　or　born　in　some　House　where　Midwives　did　not　go。〃　This　last　was　said　with　a　hesitating　fall；　as　thought　she　knew　where　that　might　have　been。　The　talk　was　depressing　me；　but　it　had　raised　a　question　I　had　to　ask。　　〃And　did　the　Midwives　deliver　me；　Mother？〃
　She　smiled　such　a　smile；　a　dawning　on　her　face。　〃Oh；　they　did；　Peter。　And　you　have　had　all　the　gifts　we　could　give　you；　Mertyn　and　I。　No　fear。　You　are　no　Mandor。　Nor　any　Dupey。　If　men　all　were　better；　perhaps　even　a　Dupey　could　be　given　a　soul；　but　it　would　take　holy　men　and　women　to　do　it。　No　simple　mother　could　do　it。　The　horror　would　be　too　great；　and　the　pain　of　the　child　too　monstrous　to　bear。　How　did　he　live？　And　why？　While　it　is　true　that　monstrous　things　are　sometimes　born；　it　takes　something　more　monstrous；　evil；　and　prideful　yet　to　keep　them　alive。
　〃And　the　Fatman？〃　I　asked。　〃Legless；　he　was；　with　no　lower　body　at　all。　Had　he　been　born　that　way；　he　would　have　died　unless　someone　intervened。　Why？　How　and　why？　Well；　perhaps　Windlow　can　tell　us；　for　he　is　very　wise。
　〃If　we　can　find　him。　If　we　can　free　him。　If　he　yet　lives。　Well；　we　will　not　do　it　standing　here。　It　is　time　to　go。
　We　stayed　only　long　enough　to　set　a　boulder　before　Mavin's　cave。　There　were　things　inside　which　she　treasured。　We　went　empty…handed；　clad　only　in　our　fur　until　we　reached　the　puddled　shadows　of　the　Blot。　There　clouds　of　flies　rose　from　the　remnants　of　Dupey　and　Fatman。　There　we　took　those　shapes　and　moved　about　in　them；　trying　them。　They　were　hateful。　They　were　wrong。　There　was　no　logic　or　kindness　in　those　shapes；　and　I　began　to　understand　what　Mavin　had　tried　to　say　about　souls。　One　could　not　exist　in　those　shapes　without　being　pressed；　warped；　envenomed。　There　was　pain　intrinsic　to　the　shape；　and　I　began　to　think　what　it　would　be　like　to　live　with　that　pain　forever。　I　began　to　modify　the　shape　to　shut　the　pain　away；　and　I　heard　Mavin　panting。
　〃I　cannot　inhabit　it；〃　she　said。　〃I　must　carry　it　upon　me　like　a　rigging。〃
　〃Perhaps　we　should　try　something　else；〃　I　offered。
　〃No；〃　she　said。　〃My　mistake　was　in　trying　to　take　the　identity　of　the　creature。　We　must　only　appear　to　be　these　creatures。　We　must　not　be　these　things　or　we　will　bee　monstrously　changed。〃
　So；　we　were　warned；　and　I　was　glad　for　the　time　spent　in　moving　and　trying　that　body。　It　took　time；　but　at　last　we　were　able　to　make　an　appearance　not　unlike　what　had　been　before　while　still　maintaining　our　own　identities　untouched。　I　was　as　weary　as　though　I　had　run　twelve　leagues。
　〃Rest；〃　said　Mavin。　〃Here　is　food。　We　will　carry　some　with　us；　for　Gamelords　know　what　will　be　found　within。〃
　Even　in　those　few　moments　rest；　we　found　that　we　shifted　away　from　those　shapes。　Mavin　barked　a　short　laugh。
　〃Mavin　Manyshaped；〃　she　mocked　herself。　〃I　do　not　deserve　the　name。
　I　thought　of　the　shapes　I　had　taken　easily；　almost　without　trying。　〃It　is　not　lack　of　Talent；〃　I　told　her；　sure　that　I　was　right；　feeling　it　through　some　internal　shrinking　as　though　my　spirit　shrank　from　what　I　was。　〃The　shapes　are　evil；　Mavin。　Moreover；　they　were　meant　to　be　evil。〃
　She　did　not　contradict　me；　and　we　went　toward　the　mumble　mouth　in　those　evil　shapes；　building　within　ourselves　certain　barriers　against　being　what　we　appeared　to　be。　I　do　not　know　how　Mavin　managed。　For　myself；　I　built　a　kind　of　shell　between　me　and　the　image　of　Fatman；　and　within　that　shell　dwelt　Peter　and　the　Gamesmen　of　Barish；　within　and　yet　no　part　of　that　thing。　　Mavin　had　evidently　observed　the　Blot　for　some　time；　for　she　knew　how　to　open　the　mouths　by　striking　them　sharply　with　a　stick；　crying　in　the　Dupey's　voice；　〃Open；　open；　old　silly　thing。　Open　and　let　Dupies　e　in。　。
　There　were　shriekings　and　clatterings　from　within；　and　then　the　mouth　opened　to　extrude　its　long　metal　tongue。　Grooved　tracks　divided　it　lengthwise；　tracks　into　which　the　flatcar　had　fit。　The　Fatwagon　did　not　fit　these；　but　I　managed　to　straddle　them　with　my　own　wheels　as　I　followed　the　Dupey　shape　up　the　ramp　and　into　the　place　beyond。　I　had　expected　a　tunnel；　a　place　not　unlike　the　catabs　beneath　Bannerwell。　This　place　was　not　what　I　had　expected。
　The　walls　were　metal；　long　sheets　of　it；　dim　and　slightly　glossy；　polished　at　one　time　but　now　faintly　fogged　with　time。　At　intervals　the　metal　was　interrupted　by　panels　of　glass；　many　of　them　broken；　the　shards　lying　upon　the　floor　of　the　way。　Behind　some　of　the　intact　glasses　were　greenish　lights；　feeble；　sickly　lights。　It　was　enough　to　find　one's　way　by；　not　truly　enough　to　see　by；　so　we　strained　to　see；　pushed　at　the　dimness　with　our　minds；　grew　fractious　and　annoyed　in　the　effort。　Above　us　the　metal　panels　extended　to　a　high；　curved　ceiling；　and　in　this　were　screened　holes　emitting　sighs　and　drips；　moody　winds　and　dampness　smelling　of　rot。　Something　in　the