el.angeleyes-第85节
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r was escaping from inside him。
There it is； Big Ezoe thought。 The link no one wanted to admit to； the one even Kakuei Sakata had not dared mit to print in his ledgers。
Big Ezoe looked at Yen Yasuwara in the rearview mirror。 The lawyer's terror filled the interior of the Mercedes like a perfume。 He said to Koi； 〃Can you believe this？ Hitasura； Michita； and Kaga are all in on this sweet deal。〃
He turned his gaze back to Yen Yasuwara。 〃Why；〃 he said carefully； 〃are Michita and Hitasura using illegal offshore profits to fund the manufacture of nuclear reactors no one knows about？〃
〃Because of the strict laws here against atomics；〃 Yen Yasuwara said。 〃Also； they're building them for export。〃
〃Selling them to the highest bidder； right？〃
〃No。 It's on consignment for a single vendor。〃 There was a weariness now in Yen Yasuwara's voice； as if he had seen the future and understood that it held nothing for him。 〃I put the deal together； so I should know。 The items are being shipped to Russia。 To an anti…Russian underground organization there known as White Star。''
The lights had gone down in a simulacrum of night； but in the starless darkness Irina could see Odysseus all the better。 It was as if his skin； luminous during the 〃day；〃 picked up a phosphorescence in the absence of light。 Irina； fortable in the saltwater pool with the Hero and his blue dolphin； scissor…kicked slowly； languidly。
〃I have to warn you；〃 Odysseus said； 〃I've been irradiated。 I was exposed to cosmic radiation while I rode between the stars。〃
〃Do you mean to tell me even heaven has its pitfalls？〃
The Него gave her an ironic smile。 ''You're not concerned？''
〃Why should I be？〃 Irina said。 〃Lara and Tatiana certainly aren't。〃
〃It's their job to be with me；〃 Odysseus said seriously。 〃They're prepared for the consequences。〃
Irina touched him。 〃I'm sorry I was so flip。〃
〃Don't be。〃 She could see his smile widening； and it was like the sun striking water。 ''I miss humor so much here。''
〃I'm afraid that is a failing of Mars's。〃 She gave a little squeal as Arbat； the blue dolphin； raced between her treading legs。
〃She likes you；〃 Odysseus said。 〃Odd。 I'd have thought she'd be jealous。〃
Arbat surfaced； clicking furiously； and Irina put her hand on the bottle snout。 ''She knows I don't want to take you away from her。〃
〃Yes；〃 Odysseus said。 〃She knows。〃
Waves lapping all around them。 The scent of salt and phosphorous。 Irina's mind； in proximity with this astounding human engine； had begun to unfold in skeins； stretching itself like a hermit at last emerging from her cave。
''What else does Arbat know？''
Odysseus's eyes were pale against his pale skin。 ''Did Volkov tell you to ask me that？''
〃No。 Why would he？〃
There was a silence for a time； even Arbat was quiescent。
〃No reason；〃 Odysseus said at last。
〃You don't like him much。〃
〃Let's not talk about rade Volkov；〃 Odysseus said。 〃The subject's so tiresome。''
Irina tried to accept this。 〃Tell me how you know Natasha Mayakova。〃
〃In the early days after my return from space； there was no pool； no Arbat。 I was bored； so I was taken into Moscow； often to the theater。 I saw Natasha in The Seagull。 I was quite moved； and asked if I could go backstage to meet her。 I was taken with her right away。〃
〃Yes； indeed；〃 Irina said。 〃I thought at first that I was going to dislike her； but then people have a way of fooling you once you get to know them。〃
〃And others；〃 the Hero said； 〃only fool themselves。〃
Irina swam closer to him。 〃Is there anybody here with us？〃
〃Volkov's gone。 Lara and Tatiana are sleeping。 There's only us； and of course the monitors。 But they can't pick up anything that goes on in the pool except for Arbat's clicking； and the technicians can't make heads or tails of that。〃
''I think it's awful that you have to be monitored；'' Irina said。
〃Join the line。〃
〃I'll ask Mars if he can do something about it。〃
Odysseus threw his head back and laughed。 〃You do that；〃 he said。 〃I only wish I could be there to hear his reply。〃
〃Why do you laugh？ Mars has a great deal of power； you know。〃
〃Him。 Well； if you can persuade him to call off the dogs； I'd be very grateful。〃
〃Don't you get tired of this pool？〃 Irina asked。
〃Don't you get tired of Russia？〃 he said； mimicking her tone。
〃Is that a joke？〃
〃Not in the least。 I don't consider freedom a subject suitable for humor。〃
〃Yes；〃 Irina said。 〃I do get tired of the life here。〃
〃Well； that's a step in the right direction。〃
She longed to say more； to tell him all about Cambridge： the students； the Cokes and pizzas； the rock 'n' roll； but the words got stuck in her throat。
Odysseus floated for a time in silence。 He was staring up into the darkness as if he could see the stars through the roof； through the dull cloud cover over Zvezdny Gorodok； as if his eyes were beacons or radar dishes。
Irina was getting used to his silences。 It did not mean that he wasn't listening to her； on the contrary； his silence was a sign of his intense concentration。 It came to her after a time that his silences were not like normal gaps in conversation； but； if only one knew how to listen； contained their own form of munication。
''What was it；〃 Irina said now； ''that you left behind up there in the space between the stars？〃
Odysseus went very still。 His eyes； much like the dolphin's； glittered in the bits of electronic light that； here and there； were scattered throughout the pool room。 ''How did you know that？'' There was astonishment in his voice。
〃I don't know。 I knew。〃 Irina seemed as bewildered as he was。 〃I。。。 heard something in the silence。 Or perhaps it was an image I saw。〃
Odysseus said； ''I was thinking of the part of myself that did not e back to Earth with me。〃
〃Which part was it？〃
〃I don't think it's definable； like a leg or a hand。'' Odysseus thought for some time； grappling with finding the right words。 〃A piece of what I had been was burned away during the event； I know that for a fact。 But something new was added； and then a piece of it was taken away again； and that is far more terrible to live with。 Is this making any sense to you？〃
''As much as anything in the world makes sense；'' Irina said。
Odysseus said carefully； 〃But what I'm talking about is not from this world…or any other you can conceive of。''
Irina said nothing。 She was acutely aware of floating； hanging in a phosphorescent space； detached； more apart than ever from the people around her。 It was as if a moat had been added to the pane of glass that separated her from the people in the Moscow streets； as if now she were moving through an altogether different medium…and； without knowing it； had been for some time。
〃Let me try to explain；〃 Odysseus continued； 〃because I want so much to share this with someone other than Arbat； and rade Volkov is incapable of any real form of understanding。〃 He licked his lips。 〃If I tell you 'Here is a flame； put your hand in it；' you would fully expect to be burned。 But what if you weren't burned？ If I take you to the top of a building and say； 'Walk over the edge；' you would fully expect to fall to the ground。 But what if you didn't？ It is six in the morning； time for sunrise； but when you go outside； there is no sun。
〃All these are answers to what I was given up there in the space between the stars。 But they are only partial answers。〃 He stirred beside her。 〃If the universe is vast； then the inculcation of ideas is even more vast。 And the only thing that is infinite is the inception of 'reality。' Because reality enpasses even time。 Reality is so unimaginably huge； so pervasive； that it defies even the dictates of time。''
Irina pondered this for several minutes。 Then she said； 〃In an odd way； you're a refugee； aren't you？ Something happened to you up there。 As if you stepped through a doorway into a new reality； and now you no longer belong here。〃
Odysseus said； ''That's it precisely！'' Something that had been hidden or absent before had e into his face； softening it； giving it more of a human scale； instead of the massive intensity of a fifty…foot…high image。
I shouldn't be understanding this； Irina thought。 But I do。 Isn't my own sense of a changed reality what's at the heart of my discontent？ I am； like Odysseus； a displaced person； living in one reality； while inside being part of another。 It all makes so much sense； although I doubt if I could say why to an outside observer。 She shivered； thinking； I hope we are alone here。 What would anyone else make of this discussion？ Probably that we were both mad as czars。
There were tears in Odysseus's eyes。 〃You can't know how I despaired of ever finding someone who would understand。'' He kissed her cheeks； her eyes； her lips。 He laughed。 ''And to think it's Volkov himself who's provided me with my salvation。〃
Irina； who had begun to shiver when he had touched her； now quaked beneath his kisses。 She felt consumed with fire； not only in her body； but in her mind as well。 It was as if the line of munication they had together threaded had now sewed their souls into one bined whole。
〃Space is a harsh mistress；〃 Odysseus said。 Irina could feel his words as well as hear them。 〃It draws y
