anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第76节

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d　dragged　him　away　from　the　monastery　on　that　fateful　day。
　　　Never　again　did　Amadeo　speak　of　his　father　and　mother。　Never　again　did　he　speak　of　Kiev。　The　beautiful　painted　egg　he　placed　within　his　sarcophagus　without　ever　explaining　its　significance　to　me。
　　　And　on　certain　nights　when　I　painted　in　my　studio；　working　fiercely　on　this　or　that　canvas；　he　would　e　to　keep　me　pany；　and　it　seemed　he　perused　my　work　with　new　eyes。
　　　When　would　he　finally　pick　up　the　brushes　and　paint？　I　didn't　know；　but　such　a　question　didn't　matter　anymore。　He　was　mine　and　mine　forever。　He　could　do　what　he　pleased。
　　　Yet　silently　in　my　secret　soul；　I　suspected　that　Amadeo　held　me　in　contempt。　All　I　taught　of　art；　of　history；　of　beauty；　of　civilization…all　this　was　meaningless　to　him。
　　　When　the　Tatars　captured　him；　when　the　ikon　fell　from　his　arms　into　the　grass；　it　was　not　his　fate　that　was　sealed；　it　was　his　mind。
　　　
　　　
　　　Yes；　I　could　dress　him　in　finery　and　teach　him　different　languages；　and　he　could　love　Bianca；　and　dance　with　her　exquisitely　to　slow　and　rhythmic　music；　and　he　could　learn　to　talk　philosophy；　and　write　poetry　as　well。
　　　But　his　soul　held　nothing　sacred　but　that　old　art　and　that　man　who　lay　drinking　out　his　nights　and　days　by　the　Dnieper　in　Kiev。　And　I；　with　all　my　power；　and　all　my　blandishments；　could　not　replace　Amadeo's　father　in　Amadeo's　mind。
　　　Why　was　I　so　jealous？　Why　did　this　knowledge　sting　me　so　much？
　　　I　loved　Amadeo　as　I　had　loved　Pandora。　I　loved　him　as　I　had　loved　Botticelli。　Amadeo　was　among　these；　the　great　loves　of　my　long　life。
　　　I　tried　to　forget　my　jealousy　or　ignore　it。　After　all；　what　was　to　be　done　about　it？　Should　I　remind　him　of　this　journey　and　torment　him　with　questions？　I　could　not　do　such　a　thing。
　　　But　I　sensed　that　these　concerns　were　dangerous　to　me　as　an　immortal；　and　that　never　before　had　anything　of　this　nature　so　tortured　me　or　made　me　weak。　I　had　expected　Amadeo；　the　blood　drinker；　to　look　upon　his　family　with　detachment　and　no　such　thing　had　taken　place！
　　　I　had　to　admit　that　my　love　for　Amadeo　was　all　caught　up　with　my　involvement　with　mortals；　that　I　had　plunged　myself　into　their　pany；　and　he　himself　was　still　so　very　hopelessly　close　to　them　that　it　would　take　him　centuries　to　gain　the　distance　from　mortals　which　I　had　experienced　on　the　very　night　when　I　was　first　given　the　Blood。
　　　There　had　been　no　Druid　grove　for　Amadeo。　There　had　been　no　treacherous　journey　to　Egypt；　there　had　been　no　rescue　of　the　King　and　Queen。
　　　Indeed；　as　I　mulled　this　over　quickly　I　resolved　I　would　not　entrust　him　with　the　mystery　of　Those　Who　Must　Be　Kept　even　though　the　words　had　once　or　twice　passed　my　lips。
　　　Perhaps　before　the　making　of　him；　I　had　thought　idly　that　I　would　take　him　to　the　shrine　at　once。　I　would　beg　Akasha　to　receive　him；　as　she　had　once　received　Pandora。
　　　But　now　I　thought　otherwise。　Let　him　be　more　advanced；　let　him　be　more　nearly　perfected。　Let　him　bee　more　wise。
　　　And　was　he　not　pany　and　consolation　for　me　now　more　than　I　ever　dreamt？　Even　if　a　bad　mood　overtook　him　he　remained　with　me。　Even　if　his　eyes　were　dull　as　though　the　dazzling　colors　of　my　paintings　did　not　matter　to　him；　was　he　not　near　at　hand？
　　　
　　　Yes；　he　was　quiet　for　a　time　after　the　journey　to　Russia。　But　I　knew　his　frame　of　mind　would　pass。　And　indeed　it　did。
　　　Within　a　few　short　months；　he　was　no　longer　aloof　and　moody　but　had　e　back　to　be　my　panion；　and　was　once　again　visiting　the　various　feasts　and　balls　of　the　great　citizens　which　I　attended　regularly；　and　writing　short　poems　for　Bianca；　and　arguing　with　her　about　various　paintings　which　I　had　done。
　　　Ah；　Bianca；　how　we　loved　her。　And　how　often　did　I　search　her　mind　to　make　certain　that　she　had　no　inkling　even　now　that　we　were　not　human　beings。
　　　Bianca　was　the　only　mortal　I　admitted　to　my　studio；　but　naturally　I　could　not　work　with　my　full　speed　and　force　when　she　was　there。　I　had　to　lift　a　mortal　arm　to　hold　the　paintbrush　but　it　was　more　than　worth　it　to　hear　her　pleasant　mentary　with　Amadeo　who　also　perceived　in　my　works　some　grand　design　which　was　not　there。
　　　All　was　going　well　when；　one　night　as　I　came　down　upon　the　roof　of　the　palazzo；　quite　alone；　for　I　had　left　Amadeo　in　the　pany　of　Bianca；　I　sensed　that　a　very　young　mortal　was　watching　me　from　the　roof　of　the　palazzo　across　the　canal。
　　　Now　I　had　e　down　so　swiftly　that　not　even　Amadeo　could　have　seen　it　had　he　been　watching；　yet　this　distant　mortal　marked　my　presence　and　when　I　realized　it；　I　realized　quite　a　deal　more　as　well。
　　　　Here　was　a　mortal　spy　who　suspected　me　to　be　other　than　human。　Here　was　a　mortal　spy　who　had　been　observing　me　for　some　time。
　　　Never　in　all　my　years　had　I　known　any　such　a　threat　to　my　secrecy。　And　naturally　I　was　tempted　to　immediately　conclude　that　my　life　in　Venice　had　failed。　Just　when　I　thought　I　had　fooled　an　entire　city；　I　was　to　be　caught　for　what　I　was。
　　　But　this　young　mortal　had　nothing　to　do　with　the　grand　society　in　which　I　moved。　I　knew　it　the　moment　I　penetrated　his　mind。　He　was　no　great　Venetian；　no　painter；　no　cleric；　no　poet；　no　alchemist；　and　certainly　no　member　of　the　Grand　Council　of　Venice。　On　the　contrary；　he　was　a　most　strange　sort　of　being；　a　scholar　of　the　supernatural；　a　spy　upon　creatures　such　as　me。
　　　What　could　this　mean？　What　could　this　be？
　　　At　this　point；　meaning　to　confront　him　and　terrify　him；　I　came　to　the　very　edge　of　the　roof　garden　and　peered　across　the　canal　at　him；　and　there　I　made　out　his　stealthy　shape；　and　how　he　meant　to　cloak　himself；　and　how　fearful　yet　fascinated　he　was。
　　　
　　　
　　　Yes；　he　knew　me　to　be　a　blood　drinker。　Indeed；　he　had　some　name　for　me：　vampire。　And　he　had　been　watching　me　for　several　years！　He　had　in　fact　glimpsed　me　in　grand　salons　and　ballrooms；　so　I　might　indeed　write　this　off　to　my　carelessness。　And　on　the　night　that　I　had　first　opened　my　house　to　the　citizens　of　Venice；　he　had　e。
　　　All　this　his　mind　gave　me　rather　easily　without　the　young　man　realizing　it；　obviously；　and　then　using　the　Mind　Gift　I　sent　a　very　direct　message　to　him。
　　　　This　is　folly。　Interfere　with　me　and　you　will　surely　die。　I　won't　give　you　a　second　warning。　Move　away　from　my　household。　Leave　Venice。　Is　it　worth　your　life　to　know　what　you　want　to　know　of　me？
　　　I　saw　him　visibly　startled　by　the　message。　And　then　to　my　pure　shock　I　received　a　distinct　mind　message　from　him：
　　　　We　mean　you　no　harm。　We　are　scholars。　We　offer　understanding。　We　offer　shelter。　We　watch　and　we　are　always　here。
　　　Then　he　gave　way　to　utter　fear　and　fled　the　roof。
　　　With　little　difficulty　I　heard　him　make　his　way　down　the　staircases　through　the　palazzo　and　then　I　saw　him　e　out　into　the　canal　and　hail　a　gondola　which　took　him　away。　I　had　caught　a　good　look　at　him　as　he　stepped　into　the　boat。　He　was　a　tall　man；　lean　and　fair　of　skin；　an　Englishman；　and　he　was　dressed　in　severe　clothes　of　black。　He　was　very　frightened。　He　did　not　even　look　up　as　the　boat　took　him　away。
　　　I　stood　on　the　roof　for　a　long　time；　feeling　the　blessed　wind；　and　wondering　in　its　silence；　what　I　should　do　about　this　strange　discovery。　I　thought　over　his　distinct　message　and　the　power　of　mind　with　which　he'd　sent　it　to　me。
　　　Scholars？　What　sort　of　scholars？　And　the　other　words。　How　very　remarkable　indeed。
　　　I　cannot　exaggerate　how　odd　this　was。
　　　It　struck　me　with　full　force　that　there　had　been　moments　in　my　long　life　when　I　would　have　found　his　message　irresistible；　so　great　had　been　my　loneliness；　so　great　had　been　my　longing　to　be　understood。
　　　But　now；　with　all　of　Venice　receiving　me　into　its　finest　pany；　I　did　not　feel　such　a　thing。　I　had　Bianca　when　I　wanted　to　ramble　on　about　the　work　of　Bellini　or　my　beloved　Botticelli。　I　had　Amadeo　with　whom　to　share　my　golden　tomb。
　　　Indeed；　I　was　enjoying　a　Perfect　Time。　I　wondered　if　for　every　immortal　there　was　a　Perfect　Time。　I　wondered　if　it　corresponded　to　the　prime　of　life　in　mortals…those　years　when　you　are　strongest　and　can　see　with　the　greatest　clarity；　those　years　when　you　can　give　your　trust　most　truly　to　others；　and　seek　to　bring　about　a　perfect　happiness　for　yourself。
　　　Botticelli；　Bianca；　Amadeo…these　were　the　loves　of　my　Perfect　Time。
　　　Nevertheless；　it　was　a　stunning　promise；　that　which　the　young　Englishman　had　made。　〃We　offer　understanding。　We　offer　shelter。　We　watch　and　we　are　always　here。〃
　　　I　resolved　to　ignore　this；　to　see　what　came　of　it；　not　to　allow　it　to　impede　me　in　the　slightest　as　I　enjoyed　my　life。
　　　Yet　in　the　weeks　that　followed　I　listened　for　this　strange　creature；　this　English　scholar；　and　indeed；　I　kept　a　sharp　lookout　for　him　as　we　made　our　way　through　the　usual　lavish　and　dizzying　social　events。
　　　I　also　went　so　far　as　to　question　Bianca　about　such　a　person；　and　to　warn　Vincenzo　that　such　a　man　might　attempt　to　engage　him　in　conversation　and　that　he　must　be　very　wise　on　that　account。
　　　Vincenzo　shocked　me。
　　　The　very　fellow…a　tall　lean　Englishman；　young；　but　with　pale　gray　hair…had　already　e　calling。　He　had　questioned　Vincenzo；　Would　his　Master　wish　to　purchase　certain　unusual　books？
　　　〃They　were　books　of　magic；〃　said　Vincenzo；　frightened　that　I　would　be　angry。　〃I　told　him　t