pgw.piccadillyjim-第13节

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hest　and　reply　in　a　clear　and　manly　voice　that　I　have　gone　out；　you　know　not　where。　May　I　rely　on　your　benevolent　neutrality；　Bayliss？〃
　〃Very　good；　Mr。　James。〃
　〃I　think　I　will　go　and　sit　in　my　father's　den。　A　man　may　lie　hid　there　with　some　success　as　a　rule。〃
　Jimmy　heaved　himself　painfully　off　the　sofa；　blinked；　and　set　out　for　the　den；　where　his　father；　in　a　deep　arm…chair；　was　smoking　a　restful　pipe　and　reading　the　portions　of　the　daily　papers　which　did　not　deal　with　the　game　of　cricket。
　Mr。　Crocker's　den　was　a　small　room　at　the　back　of　the　house。　It　was　not　luxurious；　and　it　looked　out　onto　a　blank　wall；　but　it　was　the　spot　he　liked　best　in　all　that　vast　pile　which　had　once　echoed　to　the　tread　of　titled　shoes；　for；　as　he　sometimes　observed　to　his　son；　it　had　the　distinction　of　being　the　only　room　on　the　ground　floor　where　a　fellow　could　move　without　stubbing　his　toe　on　a　countess　or　an　honourable。　In　this　peaceful　backwater　he　could　smoke　a　pipe；　put　his　feet　up；　take　off　his　coat；　and　generally　indulge　in　that　liberty　and　pursuit　of　happiness　to　which　the　Constitution　entitles　a　free…born　American。　Nobody　ever　came　there　except　Jimmy　and　himself。
　He　did　not　suspend　his　reading　at　his　son's　entrance。　He　muttered　a　wele　through　the　clouds；　but　he　did　not　raise　his　eyes。　Jimmy　took　the　other　arm…chair；　and　began　to　smoke　silently。　It　was　the　unwritten　law　of　the　den　that　soothing　silence　rather　than　aimless　chatter　should　prevail。　It　was　not　until　a　quarter　of　an　hour　had　passed　that　Mr。　Crocker　dropped　his　paper　and　spoke。
　〃Say；　Jimmy；　I　want　to　talk　to　you。〃
　〃Say　on。　You　have　our　ear。〃
　〃Seriously。〃
　〃Continuealways；　however；　keeping　before　you　the　fact　that　I　am　a　sick　man。　Last　night　was　a　wild　night　on　the　moors；　dad。〃
　〃It's　about　your　stepmother。　She　was　talking　at　breakfast　about　you。　She's　sore　at　you　for　giving　Spike　Dillon　lunch　at　the　Carlton。　You　oughtn't　to　have　taken　him　there；　Jimmy。　That's　what　got　her　goat。　She　was　there　with　a　bunch　of　swells　and　they　had　to　sit　and　listen　to　Spike　talking　about　his　half…scissors　hook。〃
　〃What's　their　kick　against　Spike's　half…scissors　hook？　It's　a　darned　good　one。〃
　〃She　said　she　was　going　to　speak　to　you　about　it。　I　thought　I'd　let　you　know。〃
　〃Thanks；　dad。　But　was　that　all？〃
　〃All。〃
　〃All　that　she　was　going　to　speak　to　me　about？　Sure　there　was　nothing　else？〃
　〃She　didn't　say　anything　about　anything　else。〃
　〃Then　she　DOESN'T　know！　Fine！〃
　Mr。　Crocker's　feet　came　down　from　the　mantelpiece　with　a　crash。
　〃Jimmy！　You　haven't　been　raising　Cain　again？〃
　〃No；　no；　dad。　Nothing　serious。　High…spirited　Young　Patrician　stuff；　the　sort　of　thing　that's　expected　of　a　fellow　in　my　position。〃
　Mr。　Crocker　was　not　to　be　forted。
　〃Jimmy；　you've　got　to　pull　up。　Honest；　you　have。　I　don't　care　for　myself。　I　like　to　see　a　boy　having　a　good　time。　But　your　stepmother　says　you're　apt　to　queer　us　with　the　people　up　top；　the　way　you're　going　on。　Lord　knows　I　wouldn't　care　if　things　were　different；　but　I'll　tell　you　exactly　how　I　stand。　I　didn't　get　wise　till　this　morning。　Your　stepmother　sprang　it　on　me　suddenly。　I've　often　wondered　what　all　this　stuff　was　about；　this　living　in　London　and　trailing　the　swells。　I　couldn't　think　what　was　your　stepmother's　idea。　Now　I　know。　Jimmy；　she's　trying　to　get　them　to　make　me　a　peer！〃
　〃What！〃
　〃Just　that。　And　she　says〃
　〃But；　dad；　this　is　rich！　This　is　edy　of　a　high　order！　A　peer！　Good　Heavens；　if　it　es　off；　what　shall　I　be？　This　title　business　is　all　so　plicated。　I　know　I　should　have　to　change　my　name　to　Hon。　Rollo　Cholmondeley　or　the　Hon。　Aubrey　Marjoribanks；　but　what　I　want　to　know　is　which？　I　want　to　be　prepared　for　the　worst。〃
　〃And　you　see；　Jimmy；　these　people　up　top；　the　guys　who　arrange　the　giving　of　titles；　are　keeping　an　eye　on　you；　because　you　would　have　the　title　after　me　and　naturally　they　don't　want　to　get　stung。　I　gathered　all　that　from　your　stepmother。　Say；　Jimmy；　I'm　not　asking　a　lot　of　you；　but　there　is　just　one　thing　you　can　do　for　me　without　putting　yourself　out　too　much。〃
　〃I'll　do　it；　dad；　if　it　kills　me。　Slip　me　the　info！〃
　〃Your　stepmother's　friend　Lady　Corstorphine's　nephew　。　。　。〃
　〃It's　not　the　sort　of　story　to　ask　a　man　with　a　headache　to　follow。　I　hope　it　gets　simpler　as　it　goes　along。〃
　〃Your　stepmother　wants　you　to　be　a　good　fellow　and　make　friends　with　this　boy。　You　see；　his　father　is　in　right　with　the　Premier　and　has　the　biggest　kind　of　a　pull　when　it　es　to　handing　out　titles。〃
　〃Is　that　all　you　want？　Leave　it　to　me。　Inside　of　a　week　I'll　be　playing　kiss…in…the…ring　with　him。　The　whole　force　of　my　sunny　personality　shall　be　directed　towards　making　him　love　me。　What's　his　name？〃
　〃Lord　Percy　Whipple。〃
　Jimmy's　pipe　fell　with　a　clatter。
　〃Dad；　pull　yourself　together！　Reflect！　You　know　you　don't　seriously　mean　Lord　Percy　Whipple。〃
　〃Eh？〃
　Jimmy　laid　a　soothing　hand　on　his　father's　shoulder。
　〃Dad；　prepare　yourself　for　the　big　laugh。　This　is　where　you　throw　your　head　back　and　roar　with　honest　mirth。　I　met　Lord　Percy　Whipple　last　night　at　the　Six　Hundred　Club。　Words　ensued。　I　fell　upon　Percy　and　beat　his　block　off！　How　it　started；　except　that　we　both　wanted　the　same　table；　I　couldn't　say。　'Why；　that　I　cannot　tell；'　said　he；　'but　'twas　a　famous　victory！'　If　I　had　known；　dad；　nothing　would　have　induced　me　to　lay　a　hand　upon　Perce；　save　in　the　way　of　kindness；　but；　not　even　knowing　who　he　was；　it　would　appear　from　contemporary　accounts　of　the　affair　that　I　just　naturally　sailed　in　and　expunged　the　poor；　dear　boy！〃
　The　stunning　nature　of　this　information　had　much　the　same　effect　on　Mr。　Crocker　as　the　announcement　of　his　ruin　has　upon　the　Good　Old　Man　in　melodrama。　He　sat　clutching　the　arms　of　his　chair　and　staring　into　space；　saying　nothing。　Dismay　was　written　upon　his　anguished　countenance。
　His　collapse　sobered　Jimmy。　For　the　first　time　he　perceived　that　the　situation　had　another　side　than　the　humorous　one　which　had　appealed　to　him。　He　had　anticipated　that　Mr。　Crocker；　who　as　a　general　thing　shared　his　notions　of　what　was　funny　and　could　be　relied　on　to　laugh　in　the　right　place；　would　have　been　struck；　like　himself；　by　the　odd　and　pleasing　coincidence　of　his　having　picked　on　for　purposes　of　assault　and　battery　the　one　young　man　with　whom　his　stepmother　wished　him　to　form　a　firm　and　lasting　friendship。　He　perceived　now　that　his　father　was　seriously　upset。　Neither　Jimmy　nor　Mr。　Crocker　possessed　a　demonstrative　nature；　but　there　had　always　existed　between　them　the　deepest　affection。　Jimmy　loved　his　father　as　he　loved　nobody　else　in　the　world；　and　the　thought　of　having　hurt　him　was　like　a　physical　pain。　His　laughter　died　away　and　he　set　himself　with　a　sinking　heart　to　try　to　undo　the　effect　of　his　words。
　〃I'm　awfully　sorry；　dad。　I　had　no　idea　you　would　care。　I　wouldn't　have　done　a　fool　thing　like　that　for　a　million　dollars　if　I'd　known。　Isn't　there　anything　I　can　do？　Gee　whiz！　I'll　go　right　round　to　Percy　now　and　apologise。　I'll　lick　his　boots。　Don't　you　worry；　dad。　I'll　make　it　all　right。〃
　The　whirl　of　words　roused　Mr。　Crocker　from　his　thoughts。
　〃It　doesn't　matter；　Jimmy。　Don't　worry　yourself。　It's　only　a　little　unfortunate；　because　our　stepmother　says　she　won't　think　of　our　going　back　to　America　till　these　people　here　have　given　me　a　title。　She　wants　to　put　one　over　on　her　sister。　That's　all　that's　troubling　me；　the　thought　that　this　affair　will　set　us　back；　this　Lord　Percy　being　in　so　strong　with　the　guys　who　give　the　titles。　I　guess　it　will　mean　my　staying　on　here　for　a　while　longer；　and　I'd　liked　to　have　seen　another　ball…game。　Jimmy；　do　you　know　they　call　baseball　Rounders　in　this　country；　and　children　play　it　with　a　soft　ball！〃
　Jimmy　was　striding　up　and　down　the　little　room。　Remorse　had　him　in　its　grip。
　〃What　a　damned　fool　I　am！〃
　〃Never　mind；　Jimmy。　It's　unfortunate；　but　it　wasn't　your　fault。　You　couldn't　know。〃
　〃It　was　my　fault。　Nobody　but　a　fool　like　me　would　go　about　beating　people　up。　But　don't　worry；　dad。　It's　going　to　be　all　right。　I'll　fix　it。　I'm　going　right　round　to　this　fellow　Percy　now　to　make　things　all　right。　I　won't　e　back　till　I've　squared　him。　Don't　you　bother　yourself　about　it　any　longer；　dad。　It's　going　to　be　all　right。〃
　
　CHAPTER　VI
　JIMMY　ABANDONS　PICCADILLY
　
　JIMMY　removed　himself　sorrowfully　from　the　doorstep　of　the　Duke　of　Devizes'　house　in　Cleveland　Row。　His　mission　had　been　a　failure。　In　answer　to　his　request　to　be　permitted　to　see　Lord　Percy　Whipple；　the　butler　had　replied　that　Lord　Percy　was　confined　to　his　bed　and　was　seeing　nobody。　He　eyed　Jimmy；　on　receiving　his　name；　with　an　interest　which　he　failed　to　conceal；　for　he　too；　like　Bayliss；　had　read　and　heartily　enjoyed　Bill　Blake's　spirited　version　of　the　affair　of　last　night　which　had　appeared　in　the　Daily　Sun。　Indeed；　he　had　clipped　the　report　out　and　had　been　engaged　in　pasting　it　in　an　album　when　the　bell　rang。
　In　face　of　this　repulse；　Jimmy's　campaign　broke　down。　He　was　at　a　loss　to　know　what　to　do　next。　He　ebbed　away　from　the　Duke's　front　door　like　an　army　that　has　made　an　unsuccessful　frontal　attack　on　an　impregnable　fortress。　He　could　hardly　force　his　way　in　and　search　for　Lord　Percy。
　He　walked　along　Pall　Mall；　deep　in　thought。　It　was