mp.godfather-第104节

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teps　for　an　extra　minute。　She　was　always　reluctant　at　this　last　moment；　always　a　little　fearful。
　
　Finally　she　entered　the　cool　darkness。　She　took　the　holy　water　on　her　fingertips　and　made　the　sign　of　the　cross；　fleetingly　touched　her　wet　fingertips　to　her　parched　lips。　Candles　flickered　redly　before　the　saints；　the　Christ　on　his　cross。　Kay　genuflected　before　entering　her　row　and　then　knelt　on　the　hard　wooden　rail　of　the　pew　to　wait　for　her　call　to　munion。　She　bowed　her　head　as　if　she　were　praying；　but　she　was　not　quite　ready　for　that。
　
　**********
　
　It　was　only　here　in　these　dim；　vaulted　churches　that　she　allowed　herself　to　think　about　her　husband's　other　life。　About　that　terrible　night　a　year　ago　when　he　had　deliberately　used　all　their　trust　and　love　in　each　other　to　make　her　believe　his　lie　that　he　had　not　killed　his　sister's　husband。
　
　She　had　left　him　because　of　that　lie；　not　because　of　the　deed。　The　next　morning　she　had　taken　the　children　away　with　her　to　her　parents'　house　in　New　Hampshire。　Without　a　word　to　anyone；　without　really　knowing　what　action　she　meant　to　take。　Michael　had　immediately　understood。　He　had　called　her　the　first　day　and　then　left　her　alone。　It　was　a　week　before　the　limousine　from　New　York　pulled　up　in　front　of　her　house　with　Tom　Hagen。
　
　She　had　spent　a　long　terrible　afternoon　with　Tom　Hagen；　the　most　terrible　afternoon　of　her　life。　They　had　gone　for　a　walk　in　the　woods　outside　her　little　town　and　Hagen　had　not　been　gentle。
　
　Kay　had　made　the　mistake　of　trying　to　be　cruelly　flippant；　a　role　to　which　she　was　not　suited。　〃Did　Mike　send　you　up　here　to　threaten　me？〃　she　asked。　〃I　expected　to　see　some　of　the　'boys'　get　out　of　the　car　with　their　machine　guns　to　make　me　go　back。〃
　
　For　the　first　time　since　she　had　known　him；　she　saw　Hagen　angry。　He　said　harshly；　〃That's　the　worst　kind　of　juvenile　crap　I've　ever　heard。　I　never　expected　that　from　a　woman　like　you。　e　on；　Kay。〃
　
　〃All　right；〃　she　said。
　
　They　walked　along　the　green　country　road。　Hagen　asked　quietly；　〃Why　did　you　run　away？〃
　
　Kay　said；　〃Because　Michael　lied　to　me。　Because　he　made　a　fool　of　me　when　he　stood　Godfather　to　Connie's　boy。　He　betrayed　me。　I　can't　love　a　man　like　that。　I　can't　live　with　it。　I　can't　let　him　be　father　to　my　children。〃
　
　〃I　don't　know　what　you're　talking　about；〃　Hagen　said。
　
　She　turned　on　him　with　now…justified　rage。　〃I　mean　that　he　killed　his　sister's　husband。　Do　you　understand　that？〃　She　paused　for　a　moment。　〃And　he　lied　to　me。〃
　
　They　walked　on　for　a　long　time　in　silence。　Finally　Hagen　said；　〃You　have　no　way　of　really　knowing　that's　all　true。　But　just　for　the　sake　of　argument　let's　assume　that　it's　true。　I'm　not　saying　it　is；　remember。　But　what　if　I　gave　you　what　might　be　some　justification　for　what　he　did。　Or　rather　some　possible　justifications？〃
　
　Kay　looked　at　him　scornfully。　〃That's　the　first　time　I've　sees　the　lawyer　side　of　you；　Tom。　It's　not　your　best　side。〃
　
　Hagen　grinned。　〃OK。　Just　hear　me　out。　What　if　Carlo　had　put　Sonny　on　the　spot；　fingered　him。　What　if　Carlo　beating　up　Connie　that　time　was　a　deliberate　plot　to　get　Sonny　out　in　the　open；　that　they　knew　he　would　take　the　route　over　the　Jones　Beach　Causeway？　What　if　Carlo　had　been　paid　to　help　get　Sonny　killed？　Then　what？〃
　
　Kay　didn't　answer。　Hagen　went　on。　〃And　what　if　the　Don；　a　great　man；　couldn't　bring　himself　to　do　what　he　had　to　do；　avenge　his　son's　death　by　killing　his　daughter's　husband？　What　if　that；　finally；　was　too　much　for　him；　and　he　made　Michael　his　successor；　knowing　that　Michael　would　take　that　load　off　his　shoulders；　would　take　that　guilt？〃
　
　〃It　was　all　over　with；〃　Kay　said；　tears　springing　into　her　eyes。　〃Everybody　was　happy。　Why　couldn't　Carlo　be　forgiven？　Why　couldn't　everything　go　on　and　everybody　forget？〃
　
　She　had　led　across　a　meadow　to　a　tree…shaded　brook。　Hagen　sank　down　on　the　grass　and　sighed。　He　looked　around；　sighed　again　and　said；　〃In　this　world　you　could　do　it。
　
　Kay　said；　〃He's　not　the　man　I　married。〃
　
　Hagen　laughed　shortly。　〃If　he　were；　he'd　be　dead　now。　You'd　be　a　widow　now。　You'd　have　no　problem。〃
　
　Kay　blazed　out　at　him。　〃What　the　hell　does　that　mean？　e　on；　Tom；　speak　out　straight　once　in　your　life。　I　know　Michael　can't；　but　you're　not　Sicilian；　you　can　tell　a　woman　the　truth；　you　can　treat　her　like　an　equal；　a　fellow　human　being。〃
　
　There　was　another　long　silence。　Hagen　shook　his　head。　〃You've　got　Mike　wrong。　You're　mad　because　he　lied　to　you。　Well；　he　warned　you　never　to　ask　him　about　business。　You're　mad　because　he　was　Godfather　to　Carlo's　boy。　But　you　made　him　do　that。　Actually　it　was　the　right　move　for　him　to　make　if　he　was　going　to　take　action　against　Carlo。　The　classical　tactical　move　to　win　the　victim's　trust。〃　Hagen　gave　her　a　grim　smile。　〃Is　that　straight　enough　talk　for　you？〃　But　Kay　bowed　her　head。
　
　Hagen　went　on。　〃I'll　give　you　some　more　straight　talk。　After　the　Don　died；　Mike　was　set　up　to　be　killed。　Do　you　know　who　set　him　up？　Tessio。　So　Tessio　had　to　be　killed。　Carlo　had　to　be　killed。　Because　treachery　can't　be　forgiven。　Michael　could　have　forgiven　it；　but　people　never　forgive　themselves　and　so　they　would　always　be　dangerous。　Michael　really　liked　Tessio。　He　loves　his　sister。　But　he　would　be　shirking　his　duty　to　you　and　his　children；　to　his　whole　family；　to　me　and　my　family；　if　he　let　Tessio　and　Carlo　go　free。　They　would　have　been　a　danger　to　us　all；　all　our　lives。〃
　
　Kay　had　been　listening　to　this　with　tears　running　down　her　face。　〃Is　that　what　Michael　sent　you　up　here　to　tell　me？〃
　
　Hagen　looked　at　her　in　genuine　surprise。　〃No；〃　he　said。　〃He　told　me　to　tell　you　you　could　have　everything　you　want　and　do　everything　you　want　as　long　as　you　take　good　care　of　the　kids。〃　Hagen　smiled。　〃He　said　to　tell　you　that　you're　his　Don。　That's　just　a　joke。〃
　
　Kay　put　her　hand　on　Hagen's　arm。　〃He　didn't　order　you　to　tell　me　all　the　other　things？〃
　
　Hagen　hesitated　a　moment　as　if　debating　whether　to　tell　her　a　final　truth。　〃You　still　don't　understand；〃　he　said。　〃If　you　told　Michael　what　I've　told　you　today；　I'm　a　dead　man。〃　He　paused　again。　〃You　and　the　children　are　the　only　people　on　this　earth　he　couldn't　harm。〃
　
　It　was　a　long　five　minutes　after　that　Kay　rose　from　the　grass　and　they　started　walking　back　to　the　house。　When　they　were　almost　there；　Kay　said　to　Hagen；　〃After　supper；　can　you　drive　me　and　the　kids　to　New　York　in　your　car？〃
　
　〃That's　what　I　came　for；〃　Hagen　said。
　
　A　week　after　she　returned　to　Michael　she　went　to　a　priest　for　instruction　to　bee　a　Catholic。
　
　**********
　
　From　the　innermost　recess　of　the　church　the　bell　tolled　for　repentance。　As　she　had　been　taught　to　do；　Kay　struck　her　breast　lightly　with　her　clenched　hand；　the　stroke　of　repentance。　The　bell　tolled　again　and　there　was　the　shuffling　of　feet　as　the　municants　left　their　seats　to　go　to　the　altar　rail。　Kay　rose　to　join　them。　She　knelt　at　the　altar　and　from　the　depths　of　the　church　the　bell　tolled　again。　With　her　closed　hand　she　struck　her　heart　once　more。　The　priest　was　before　her。　She　tilted　back　her　head　and　opened　her　mouth　to　receive　the　papery　thin　wafer。　This　was　the　most　terrible　moment　of　all。　Until　it　melted　away　and　she　could　swallow　and　she　could　do　what　she　came　to　do。
　
　Washed　clean　of　sin；　a　favored　supplicant；　she　bowed　her　head　and　folded　her　hands　over　the　altar　rail。　She　shifted　her　body　to　make　her　weight　less　punishing　to　her　knees。
　
　She　emptied　her　mind　of　all　thought　of　herself；　of　her　children；　of　all　anger；　of　all　rebellion；　of　all　questions。　Then　with　a　profound　and　deeply　willed　desire　to　believe；　to　be　heard；　as　she　had　done　every　day　since　the　murder　of　Carlo　Rizzi；　she　said　the　necessary　prayers　for　the　soul　of　Michael　Corleone。



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