pzb.lostsouls-第32节

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f　nowhere；　tripping　his　brains　out；　with　only　Laine's　cold　little　hand　to　hold？
　　He　wouldn't　be　able　to　stand　looking　at　Laine's　face　again；　the　sulky　mouth　and　the　eyes　shadowed　with　wispy　white…blond　hair；　not　if　Laine　lost　him　his　new　family。　Not　if　he　was　banished　from　this　dragged　dreamland　of　wine　and　song；　where　the　graffiti　writhed　on　the　coiling　and　the　stars　sped　by　all　night　long。　Not　if　he　was　banished　from　Zillah's　arms；　from　the　half…painful　sorcery　of　Zillah's　lips。　From　the　only　place　where　he　had　ever　felt　truly　accepted。
　　In　an　instant　he　made　the　choice　that　would　fashion　the　rest　of　his　life。　Hating　himself；　but　feeling　something　dark　and　fathomless　begin　to　open　within　him；　he　slid　out　of　Laine's　embrace　and　pushed　him　away。
　　〃Nothing？　What's　going　on？〃　Laine　stared　around　at　the　circle　of　eyes：　Molochai's　and　Twig's　tripped…out　and　hungry；　Zillah's　still　spitting　green　fire。　He　tried　to　crawl　back　across　the　mattress　to　Nothing；　but　Zillah　hooked　a　finger　through　the　string　of　beads　around　Laine's　neck　and　pulled　back　hard。　Laine　made　a　low　choking　sound　as　the　beads　tightened　across　his　throat。　Then　the　strand　snapped；　and　bits　of　sparkling　bright　plastic　were　everywhere…rattling　under　the　mattress；　landing　in　the　folds　of　Nothing's　raincoat；　catching　the　moonlight　and　all　the　colored　glints　from　the　dashboard。　Molochai　grabbed　at　them　as　if　they　were　candy；　put　one　in　his　mouth。
　　Then　Molochai　and　Twig　were　on　either　side　of　Laine；　flanking　him；　pushing　him　down　onto　the　stained　mattress。　Their　hands　encircled　Laine's　arms　just　above　the　elbow。　Their　sharp　fingers　dug　into　the　soft　meat　there。
　　Laine's　eyes；　terrified　but　still　trusting；　found　Nothing's。　〃Make　them　stop；〃　he　pleaded。　〃Don't　let　them　hurt　me。〃
　　Zillah　grabbed　Laine's　kicking　feet　and　forced　them　to　the　mattress　with　one　hand。　Zillah's　grip　seemed　to　span　both　of　Laine's　ankles；　on　the　back　of　the　hand；　veins　stood　out　darkly　purple。　Laine　was　wearing　pink　hightop　sneakers　with　laces　of　the　kind　that　had　been　popular　with　trendy　girls　a　couple　of　years　ago；　white　patterned　with　small　rainbow　figures。　Laine's　seemed　to　be　striped；　but　looking　closely；　Nothing　made　out　tiny　letters。　BULLSHITBULLSHITBULLSHIT；　said　Laine's　shoelaces。
　　Laine　bucked　on　the　mattress。　His　eyes　never　left　Nothing's。　They　had　an　accusing　look　now；　and　Nothing　felt　a　flash　of　anger。　I　didn't　ask　you　to　follow　me；　he　thought；　I　didn't　tell　them　to　hurt　you。　And　he　didn't　think　they　would　hurt　Laine；　not　really。　Not　yet。　But　why　did　Zillah　look　so　expectant　and　yet　so　scornful？　Why　was　Molochai　drooling　out　of　the　corners　of　his　mouth？
　　〃He　looks　sweet；〃　said　Molochai。　〃You'll　share；　won't　you？〃
　　〃You　can　use　this　if　you　like。〃　Zillah　held　up　a　little　pearl…handled　straight　razor；　a　lethal…looking　thing　he　had　produced　from　his　pocket　or　some　fold　of　the　mattress。　〃But　you　really　should　do　it　with　your　teeth。　That's　the　best　way。　The　most。。。intimate。〃
　　Laine　made　a　small　sound　deep　in　his　throat；　something　between　a　laugh　and　a　moan。
　　He's　talking　about　it　like　it　was　a　drug；　Nothing　thought。　Like　he　had　some　hash　and　he　was　talking　about　whether　he　should　smoke　it　in　a　pipe　or　chop　it　up　and　roll　it　in　a　joint。。。　Then；　with　a　clarity　that　nauseated　him；　he　realized　just　what　Zillah　was　talking　about。　It　all　came　together　then；　with　no　jagged　edges　and　no　loose　threads。　It　all　meshed　like　the　strands　of　a　rich　and　crimson　tapestry；　the　time　he　had　spent　with　these　three；　the　eternity　that　had　prised　a　day　and　a　half　on　the　road。　Their　sharpened　teeth；　the　bite　marks　Zillah　left　all　over　him。　The　blood　in　the　wine　bottle；　which　he　had　thought　an　exotic；　delicious　affectation。
　　It　was　not　an　affectation。　It　was　their　life。
　　For　the　blood　was　the　life　。　。　。
　　They　were　vampires。　The　cynical　thought　that　they　might　be　just　a　bunch　of　blood…drinking　psychopaths　never　crossed　Nothing's　mind。　He　had　always　believed　implicitly　in　things　supernatural；　things　beyond　the　ken　of　the　world　he　woke　to　every　day。　He　believed　in　them　because　they　had　to　be　there；　otherwise　there　was　no　hope　for　him；　because　he　had　always　known　he　could　not　live　his　whole　life　in　the　real　world。　He　had　had　faith　that　someday　he　would　find　them。。。　or　they　would　find　him。　And　now　they　had。　They　had　seemed　to　recognize　him　from　the　first；　and　was　that　not　sign　enough？
　　Suddenly　Laine　cried　out。　But　it　was　not　a　sound　of　mortal　pain。　Twig　had　grabbed　Laine's　chin　and　forced　his　head　back；　and　Zillah's　razor　had　flashed　out　to　nick　the　exposed　throat。　Zillah　dipped　his　finger　in　the　blood　and　rubbed　it　over　Nothing's　lips；　painting　his　mouth；　slicking　it　with　Laine's　blood。
　　Nothing's　head　had　begun　to　dear　a　little；　but　the　taste　of　the　blood　sent　his　brain　swirling　back　down　into　acid…mad…ness。　Laine　was　sobbing；　long　hopeless　sounds　that　seemed　wrenched　out　of　his　guts。　Molochai　and　Twig　sat　up　straight；　their　eyes　flickering　from　Zillah's　bloody　finger　to　Nothing's　bloody　mouth　to　Laine's　bloody　throat。　The　blood　glistened　black　in　the　moonlight。
　　Tears　coursed　down　Laine's　face；　silver　in　the　night；　dampening　the　hair　at　his　temples。　Nothing　knew　how　they　would　taste；　mild　and　salty　like　Laine's　mouth。　But　now　he　found　himself　wondering　how　they　would　taste　mingled　with　Laine's　blood。　He　saw　himself　licking　a　sheet　of　wetness　off　Laine's　cheeks；　a　sheet　of　blood　streaked　through　with　crystal　tears。
　　That　was　when　he　realized　that　he　could　do　it。　He　could　tear　Laine's　pulse　open　and　drink　from　it。　Not　because　Zillah　wanted　him　to…not　even　that…but　because　he　wanted　to。　Somewhere　in　his　mind　was　the　knowledge　that　they　would　probably　kill　him　along　with　Laine　if　he　refused；　but　that　hardly　mattered　anymore。　The　fresh　blood　had　given　him　a　hunger　of　his　own。
　　〃I'll　help　you；〃　Nothing　told　Laine。　〃Don't　be　scared。〃　He　lay　down　beside　Laine；　spread　himself　on　top　of　Laine。　His　arms　stretched　along　the　length　of　Laine's　arms；　up　to　Laine's　wrists；　which　Molochai　and　Twig　still　held　pinned。　His　hips　met　Laine's　hips；　his　legs　locked　with　Laine's　legs。　Laine's　body　was　shaking　violently。　It　vibrated　through　Nothing；　turned　him　electric。　Faintly　he　was　aware　of　music。　Someone　had　put　a　tape　on。　Ziggy　Stardust。
　　He　kissed　Laine　deeply。　His　mouth　moved　down　to　Laine's　throat；　to　his　pulse。　He　thought　of　the　biker；　Spooky。　He　thought　of　cutting　his　own　wrist　and　suckling　from　it；　thought　of　how　unsatisfying　that　had　been。
　　〃Please；〃　Laine　sobbed；　and　some　small　dim　part　of　Nothing；　some　part　untouched　by　acid　or　the　night；　realized　what　he　was　about　to　do。　Laine　had　once　held　Nothing's　head　over　the　toilet　at　a　party；　after　too　many　screwdrivers。　Laine　had　whispered　meaningless　words　of　fort　and　kissed　the　sick…sweat　away　from　Nothing's　face。　Laine　had　been　his　friend；　in　another　life。
　　Nothing　twisted　to　look　at　Zillah。　Zillah　smiled　a　dark　smile　and　said；　〃e　and　be　one　of　us；〃　and　Nothing　knew　he　was　being　told　to　make　his　choice。　e　and　be　one　of　us　…or　suffer　the　consequences　of　your　refusal：　die；　or　be　alone；　and　never　drink　from　the　bottle　of　life　again。　For　the　blood　was　the　life…
　　So　he　opened　his　mouth　as　wide　as　it　would　go　and　bit　into　the　soft　flesh　of　Laine's　throat。　Zillah　had　marked　the　spot　right　over　the　pulse；　and　there　was　no　cartilage　or　bone　in　his　way。　But　the　skin　was　hard　to　tear；　his　teeth　would　not　go　all　the　way　through　it。　He　had　thought　they　would　sink　smoothly　in；　like　needles；　like　fangs。　Instead　it　was　like　trying　to　chew　through　tough　raw　steak。　He　ground　his　teeth　into　skin　and　pulled　at　it　and　felt　it　begin　to　e　away　in　a　wet　chunk；　peeling　away　from　the　great　vein。　Then　he　felt　the　vein　itself　throbbing　against　his　lips。　What　am　I　doing　that　last　sane　part　of　his　mind　screamed；　o　god　what　am　I　doing　WHAT　AM　I　DOING；　and　it　kept　screaming　even　as　his　teeth　tore　out　Laine's　jugular。
　　The　torrent　of　blood　washed　over　Nothing's　face　and　bubbled　into　his　mouth。　It　was　as　different　from　his　previous　small　tastes　as　whiskey　from　water。　This　was　the　taste　of　life；　its　very　essence。　More　than　that…he　was　actually　drinking　a　life；　swallowing　it　whole。　He　felt　himself　borne　up　by　the　mindless；　agonized　convulsions　of　the　thin　body　beneath　him
　　and　the　churning　guitar　of　the　spiders　from　Mars。
　　The　taste　of　blood　meant　the　end　of　aloneness。
　　As　Laine's　movements　became　weaker；　the　others　fell　upon　him。　Molochai　and　Twig　nestled　into　the　crooks　of　Laine's　elbows；　there　was　the　sound　of　their　mouths　churning；　then　a　long　wet　sound　like　the　last　drops　of　soda　being　sucked　from　a　glass。　Zillah　had　pulled　Laine's　pants　off　and　buried　his　face　in　Laine's　crotch。　He　fed　with　delicate　licks　instead　of　noisy　sucking；　but　when　he　looked　up　at　Nothing；　his　smile　was　red；　and　a　pulpy　shred　of　flesh　was　caught　in　the　er　of　his　mouth。
　　Soon　Laine　no　longer　struggled；　but　he　was　still　alive。　A　long　continuous　sound　came　from　his　open　throat；　a　keening　beyond　pain　or　hope。　He　had　e　away　from　home　because　Nothing　had；　he　had　followed　Nothing；　trusting　him。　But　Laine　should　have　learned　by　now　that　when　you　have　too　much　faith　in　something；　it　is　bound　to　hurt　you。　Too　much　faith　in　anything　will　suck　you　dry。