ericlustbader.the ninja-第73节

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　She　paused。　'I　don't　know　how　I　got　on　to　that。'　She　wasn't　really　talking　to　him　any　more。　'Anyway；　my　father　found　me　with　this　girl。　It　was　about　a　week　before　my　mother　died。　Deepest　summer。　I　had　met　Lisa　on　the　beach　…　her　parents　had　the　estate　at　the　other　end　of　the　Lane　…　her　father　and　stepmother　whom　she　hated。　Our　hate　brought　us　together；　I　suppose。　But　we　also　loved　each　other's　bodies。　Truly。　There　was　a
　purity　to　our　love　that　I've　never　been　able　to　find　again。
　'It　was　so　hot　that　day；　even　so　near　the　water。　Everything　was　lying　limp　and　bedraggled。　We　were　lying　at　the　edge　of　my　estate　in　the　lee　of　a　line　of　high　hedges。　We　were　on　the　border；　clad　only　in　our　badiing　suits。　It　was　like　we　were　naked；　only　better。　We　couldn't　keep　our　hands　off　each　other。　We　took　off　our　suits　and　made　love。　It　was　very　beautiful。
　'We　were　still　holding　each　other　wetly　when　I　saw　my　father。　I　imagine　he　had　been　there　for　a　time；　perhaps　from　the　very　beginning　although　I　have　no　true　way　of　knowing。
　'He　saw　me　looking　at　him。　His　face　was　red　and　he　seemed　to　be　having　trouble　breadiing。　He　scrambled　towards　us　in　a　crouch；　screaming。　His　hands　flailed　the　air。　Lisa　was　terrified。　She　grabbed　her　suit　and　ran　off　down　the　beach。　My　father　　hadn't　even　looked　at　her。
　'I　lay　on　the　ground；　paralysed。　With　fear；　I　thought。　Now　I　know　better。　That　first　moment　when　I　had　looked　in　his　eyes；　I　knew　what　he　had　been　doing　while　he　was　watching　us　…　it　was　as　unmistakable　as　the　mark　of　Cain；　he　made　it　that　way。　I　might　have　been　horrified　but　I　was　not。　The　idea　made　me　excited；　he　had　watched　me　make　love　and　I　had　turned　him　on。
　'I　watched　him　e　towards　me。　There　was　something　clouding　his　eyes　which　I　couldn't　place　then。　I　had　never　seen　him　this　way　before；　I　was　seventeen。　He　seemed　a　totally　different　person　to　the　one　I　had　known　as　my　father；　he　had　e　out　of　himself。
　'He　took　me　there　where　I　lay；　staring　up　at　him；　thinking　myself　helpless　under　him。　He　plunged　into　me　with　such　force　that　I　cried　out　and；　immediately；　I　felt　his　wrist　between　my　lips。　I　bit　down　on　it　with　my　teeth；　I　sucked　up　the　blood　I　had　caused　to　e　out　of　him。　I　felt　as　if　I　were　being　stuffed　all　the　way　up　to　my　throat。
　'It　was　over　so　quickly　that　for　a　moment　I　thought　it　had　never　happened。　But　there　was　the　salty　taste　in　my　mouth　and　the　wet　soreness　between　my　legs；　I　couldn't　walk　without　some　pain　for　two　days　after。'
　She　stopped　and　her　head　turned。　She　became　aware　of　him　again。　'There；　I've　said　it；　I've　spewed　it　all　out　and'now　that's
　supposed　to　make　me　feel　better。　But　you　know；　it　doesn't。　I　still　feel　the　same　lousy　rotten　feeling　inside。　I　loathe　myself。　Not　because　he　did　that　to　me。　But　because　I　didn't　fight　him；　because　deep　down　I　didn't　want　him　to　stop。　I　revelled　in　feeling　his　e　jetting　deep　inside　me。　Oh；　God！　Oh；　my　God！'　She　was　weeping　now；　her　frame　shuddering　as　if　it　might　shake　itself　apart。
　She　fell　forward　and　he　caught　her。　His　hands　slid　under　her　arms　and　he　stood　up　with　her。　Her　legs　had　no　strength　and　he　had　to　support　her　half　propped　against　him。　Her　shudders　transferred　themselves　to　him　as　if　they　were　seismic　quakes；　the　vibrations　entering　him。　He　felt　her　long　silky　hair　gently　brushing　back　and　forth　against　the　side　of　his　face；　the　strength　of　her　perfume；　the　heat　of　her　flesh　beneath　her　elegant　clothing。
　She　cried　for　a　long　time　and　even　after　her　sobs　had　subsided　she　continued　to　cling　to　him；　her　hands　locked　behind　his　neck。
　^_Then　he　heard　her　whispering。　'I　must　be　mad。　I　must　be　mad。'
　'C'mon。'　He　said　softly　but　with　a　great　deal　of　force。　'Let's　get　you　the　hell　out　of　here。'
　Nicholas　thought　about　the　three　names　as　he　went　up　in　the　elevator　to　the　top　of　the　tower　and　Raphael　Tomkin's　plush　office。　Hideoshi。　Yodogimi。　Mitsunari。　What　the　hell　had　Terry　meant？　Nicholas　knew　him　almost　as　well　as　Eileen　had　but　he　couldn't　fathom　this　cryptogram。　All　right。　Start　at　the　beginning。　Hideoshi　is　the　ninja。　Assume？　No；　it's　a　given。　Then　who　are　Yodogimi　and　Mitsunari？　Were　there　three　people　involved？　It　seemed　to　go　against　all　the　laws　of　ninjutsu　but；　of　course；　it　couldn't　be　ruled　out。　Deduction　was　so　easy　in　literature。　Elementary；　my　dear　…　he　wished　Holmes　were　here　with　him　now。
　Yet　he　felt　a　kind　of　familiarity　with　the　names。　Of　course　he　knew　all　about　the　historical　personages；　their　　　　　personal　histories：　the　sweep　of　the　past　e　alive。　But　this　was　the　present；　divorced　from　the　past。
　He　looked　up；　watching　the　neon　indicator　moving　relent…
　lessly　from　left　to　right　as　if　ticking　off　the　seconds；　the　minutes；　the　years。　Time；　he　thought。
　My　God！　What　am　I　thinking？　I've　been　too　long　in　the　West；　I've　bee　one　of　them。　He　felt　then　a　kind　of　secret　？shame；　something　that　was　difficult　to　admit　to；　even　within　himself。
　Wasn't　I　taught　that　the　present　is　never　divorced　from　the　past？　Why　have　I　pushed　that　away　continuously？　Why　have　I　suddenly；　at　age　thirty…three；　dropped　out　of　life？　Given　up　my　job；　left　the　city；　begun　to　hibernate　…　yes；　that's　the　right　word　…　out　on　the　beach　like　it　was　Malibu；　some　far…off　lotus　land　devoid　of　worries　or　responsibilities？
　Abruptly　he　felt　something　rising　within　him；　something　dark　and　ugly　and　unstoppable。　A　tsunami　…　the　tidal　wave。　It　reared　up　at　his　back；　rushing　recklessly　towards'　him。　Had　there　been　no　warning？
　There　had　been　plenty　of　warning。　He　had　just　been　too　preoccupied　or　merely　too　dense　to　see　it。　Or　far　too　close。
　He　felt　as　if　he　were　suffocating　and　he　put　his　hand　out；　palm　against　the　texturcd　wall。　It　was　slippery　with　sweat。　He　imagined　that　he　was　Amelia　Earhart　blithely　flying　through　the　cotton…candy　skies　on　her　way　to　…　where？　He　couldn't　remember。　No　matter。　Travelling；　working　the　controls。　When　suddenly。
　Nothing。
　Not　a　thing。　No　sky；　no　clouds；　no　land　below；　no　stars　above。
　Had　the　past　overtaken　her；　too？
　The　elevator　doors　sighed　open　and　he　stepped　out　into　the　corridor；　stiff…legged。　He　went　to　the　outer　edge；　looked　out　at　the　streaming　city　through　a　pane　of　gkss　so　newly　installed　that　it　still　carried　the　wide　white　X　through　its　centre。　He　seemed　oblivious。
　It　seemed　so　obvious　to　him　now。　Yukio　should　have　given　him　the　clue。　His　memory　of　Yukio　stood　between　him　and　Justine　like　a　guardian　ghost　baring　her　teeth。　It　was　this　spectre　within　him　that　had　hurt　Justine　so。　He　clenched　his　fist　unconsciously。　Still　a　part　of　him　after　all　this　time。　But　he　knew　how　hollow　a　statement　that　was。　The　psyche　bore　no　notion　of　time；　that　was　a　rational　response　to　a　basically　irra…
　tional　question。
　Abruptly；　the　force　of　his　feelings　for　Justine　broke　the　surface　like　a　geyser　rupturing　the　glass　surface　of　a　still　pond。　How　stupid　could　he　have　been　I
　Having　made　up　his　mind；　feeling　calmer　than　he　had　for　a　while；　he　quickly　went　down　the　corridor　and　pulled　open　the　metal　doors　to　Raphael　Tomkin's　office。
　Frank　stood　just　inside。　His　eyes　blazed　when　he　saw　Nicholas　and　his　right　hand　twitched。　Nicholas　went　by　him　without　a　second　look。
　'Hey；　you　can't　…'
　But　Tomkin　had　looked　up　from　behind　his　desk　and　had　already　waved　him　to　silence。　'It's　all　right；　Frank；'　he　said　amiably。　'Nicholas　is　now　on　the　payroll；　isn't　that　right？'　He　redirected　his　gaze　towards　Nicholas。
　The　office　was　immense；　perhaps　slightly　smaller　than　a　grand　ballroom。　This　seemed；　outwardly；　impossibly　excessive　until　one　saw　that　the　space　was　divided　up　not　by　walls　but　by　furniture　groupings；　forming　out　of　the　whole　a　kind　of　mini…apartment。
　Here　to　the　left　was　what　amounted　to　a　living…room　with　a　one…step…down　sunken　parquet　floor　surrounded　by　a　C…shaped　sofa　in　crushed　velvet　from　Roche　Bobois。　A　low　smoked…glass　and　chrorne　coffee　table　sat　in　the　centre；　above　which　swooped　a　crescent…necked　floor　lamp。
　To　the　right；　nearer　the　long　bank　of　windows；　was　what　could　be　classified　as　a　professional　engineer's　workroom；　plete　with　drafting　table；　flexible　light　source　and　a　black　plastic　tabouret。　Near　by　was　a　vertical　metal　file　for　storing　architectural　plans。　There　was　even；　on　its　top；　a　scale　model　of　the　tower　as　it　would　look　when　pleted；　including　the　central　atrium　garden；　plaza　and　trees　along　its　eastern　and　western　peripheries。
　Far　to　the　left　in　the　dimness　of　the　office's　interior；　Nicholas　could　make　out　a　tiny　kitchen　with　half…refrigerator；　a　stainless…steel　sink　and；　above；　an　electric　oven。　Next　to　it　a　door　stood　open　revealing　a　full…size　bath。　The　rear　corner　on　the　left　had　been　transformed　into　a　library。　Bookshelves　climbed　two　walls。　There　were　two　strong；　shaded　reading　lights　hovering　at　the
　sides　of　a　pair　of　clubby　high…backed　leather　chairs　which；　looked　well　lived　in　rather　than　new。　All　that　was　missing　was　a　massive　glass　ashtray　holding　a　meerschaum。
　Lastly；　there　was　the　office　proper；　directly　ahead　of　him；　where　Tomkin　sat　now。　The　magnificent　hardwood　desk　had　quite　obviously　been　custom…made。　It　was　a　beautifully　blank　piece　of　furniture　from　this　side　but；　on　walking　around　to　its　reverse　side；　one　found　it　revealed　itself　as　housing　a　plex　data　centr