ericlustbader.the ninja-第59节

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nto　the　moon…drenched　clearing。　Before　them　was　the　circular　path　and　the　closed　double　doors　of　the　rearing　shrine。
　She　dragged　him　back　to　the　grass　verge；　pulling　him　down　beside　her。　'Now；'　she　whispered　fiercely。　'I　can't　wait　any　more。'
　Her　robe　parted　slightly。　She　was　incredible。　Her　flesh　glowed　as　if　with　an　inner　light。　He　couldn't　keep　his　hands　off　her。　He　leaned　forward；　parting　the　robe　farther。　He　stroked　her　thighs　until　she　moaned　and；　reached　out　with　both　arms；　drew　him　over　her。　Her　panting　was　hot　in　his　ear　as　his　mouth　opened；　enveloping　one　nipple；　as　much　of　the　surrounding　breast　as　he　could　take。　He　sucked　hard；　felt　her　indrawn　breath；　the　hot　scoring　of　her　nails　on　a　line　down　his　ribs。　Her　thighs　surrounded　him；　her　flesh　scorching；　drawing　him　inward　to　her　moist　centre。　She　sounded　as　if　she　were　choking。　He　could　smell　her　strongly　on　the　night　air。　Moving　snakelike　down　her　writhing　body；　using　his　tongue　and　his　lips　until　he　reached　her　high　mound。　He　rose　up；　then　descended　to　the　soft　flesh　of　her　inner　thighs。　He　moved　so　slowly　that；　at　length；　he　heard　her　cry　out　in　longing；　felt　her　fingers　in　his　hair；　pulling　him　up　her。
　Her　buttocks　were　off　the　soft　damp　ground　in　an　attempt　to　get　him　to　suck　her　there；　where　she　desired　it　the　most。　But　he　held　on；　circling；　circling；　so　hard　he　thought　he　might　never　be　soft　again；　until　finally　he　moved；　stabbing　through　the　wet　dark　hair；　spreading　the　flesh　beneath。　Her　hands　turned　to　fists　and　the　cords　of　her　neck　tautened。　She　screamed　again　and　again。　There　was　no　stopping　the　convulsing　of　her　sweat…flecked　body。
　'I　was　born　to　be　something；'　she　said　much　later；　'more　than　what　I　am　now。'
　The　cryptomeria　rustled　contentedly　above　their　heads。　The　earth　was　soft　beneath　their　spent　bodies。
　'I'm　nothing　now。'　Her　voice　was　so　soft　it　could　have　been　the　night　wind。　'Nothing　but　a　reflection。'　He　did　not　understand　that。　'All　my　life　no　one　has　said　one　word　to　me　dial's　meant　anything。'　She　turned　her　head　in　the　crook　of　his　arm。　'It's　all　been　lies。'
　'Even　your　parents？'
　'I　have　no　parents。'　She　turned　over；　her　buttocks　against　his　thighs。
　'Are　they　dead　or。。。'
　'Did　they　leave　me；　do　you　mean？　My　father　died　in　the　war。　He　was　Satsugai's　brother。　My　uncle　never　approved　of　the　marriage　in　the　first　place。〃
　'What　happened　to　your　mother？'
　'I　don't　know。　No　one　ever　said。　Perhaps　Satsugai　gave　her　a　sum　of　money　to　leave。'
　A　whippoorwill　trilled；　seeming　far　away。　The　air　was　dense　with　mist　though　there　seemed　few　clouds　in　the　sky。　The　moon　was　low；　bloated；　tinctured　orange。
　'I'm　surprised　Satsugai　didn't　take　you　in；'　he　said。
　'You　are？'　She　gave　a　tiny　bitter　laugh。　'I'm　not。　Itami　wanted　me；　I　know　that。　But　Satsugai　arranged　for　a　couple　to　take　care　of　me　in　Kyoto。'　She　was　silent　for　a　time；　thinking。　'I　asked　Aunt　Itami　once　and　she　said　that　Satsugai　thought　they　would　have　many　children　of　their　own　and　he　didn't　want　anything　to　interfere　with　his　family。　It　didn't　turn　out　that　way；　obviously。'
　'Then　you　do　have　parents。'
　'There's　something　odd　about　that　household。'　She　was　still　talking　about　her　uncle。　'I　can't　put　my　finger　on　it。　It　involves　Satsugai　and　Saigo。　Itami's　not　part　of　it；　though　I'm　sure　she　knows　what's　going　on。'　There　was　a　dry　fluttering　over　their　heads　as　a　plover　took　off　southward。　'I　think　it　has　something　to　do　with　where　Saigo　goes。'
　'In　Kyushu。'
　'Yes。'
　'It's　a　ryu；　I'll　bet。'
　She　turned　over；　her　eyes　luminous　and　huge　in　the　dark。　The　heat　of　her　body；　its　musk；　penetrated　him。　'But　why　travel　so　far？　There　are　plenty　of　ryu　in　the　Tokyo　area。'
　There　are　many　ryu　in　Japan。　Kansatsu's　words　came　to　him　as　clearly　as　a　tolling　bell。　Did　he　know？　Good　and　evil。　White　and　black。　Yin　and　yang。　One　must　explore　the　darkness；　too。
　'It　must　be　a　very　special　ryu。'
　'What？'
　He'd　said　it　so　softly；　thinking　put　loud；　that　even　this　close　she　had　not　heard　him。　He　repeated　what　he'd　said。
　'But　what　kind？'　she　wanted　to　know。
　Nicholas　shrugged。　'I'd　need　to　know　the　town　he　is　going　to。'
　'But　I　can　find　out！'　she　said　excitedly；　rising　up　on　one　elbow。　'He　leaves　tonight　for　Kyushu。　I'll　only　need　to　take　a　peek　at　his　train　ticket。'
　'Would　you　do　it？'
　She　gave　him　a　little　conspiratorial　smile。　Lights　danced　in　her　eyes。　'If　you　wanted　me　to。'
　He　watched　her　for　a　moment；　then　lay　back；　hands　underneath　his　head。　'I　want　to　know　something。'　His　throat　felt　tight。　'I　want　to　know　if　what　you　said　。。。　before　is　true。　Did　you　sleep　with　Saigo？'
　'Does　it　matter？'
　'Yes；　it　matters。'
　She　threw　her　arms　around　his　neck。　'Oh；　Nicholas。　Don't　be　so　serious　always。'

　'Did　you？'
　'It　might　have　happened　…　once。'
　He　sat　up；　staring　at　her。　'Might？'
　'All　right。　Yes。　But　…　it　just　happened。'
　'The　way　it　just　happened　with　us；'　he　said　nastily。
　'Oh　no。'　Her　eyes　looked　into　his。　'That's　not　the　way　it　happened　at　all。　He's　nothing　like　you。'
　'You　mean　you　planned　the　whole　thing　with　me？'　His　voice　was　demanding。
　Her　eyes　flickered　down　for　a　fraction　of　a　second。　'I　didn't　know　what　to　think　when　Aunt　Itami　told　me　she　was　bringing　me　here。　I　remembered　I　wanted　to　fuck　you　that　night　on　the　dance　floor　but　that　was　…'
　'You　told　me　you　didn't　remember　that！'　His　tone　of　indignation　concealed　his　inner　delight。
　She　smiled。　'I　lied　about　that。'　She　smiled　and　stuck　out　her　tongue；　a　very　un…Japanese　gesture。　'I　didn't　want　to　spoil　the　surprise。　I　knew　the　moment　I　saw　you　again　what　I　wanted　to　do。'
　'I　had　no　hint　when　we　went　out　in　the　garden。'
　She　shrugged。　'I'm　two　different　people。　You've　seen　both　sides。'
　'What　was　it　like　for　you；　growing　up？'
　'Why　do　you　ask？'
　He　burst　out　laughing。　'Because　I'm　interested　in　you。　Why？　Do　you　think　I'm　after　something？'
　'Everyone's　always　after　something。'
　'Not　everyone；'　he　said　softly；　pulling　her　close。　'I'm　not。'　He　kissed　her　with　closed　lips。　'I　care　about　you；　Yukio。　A　great　deal。'
　She　laughed。　'Well；　at　least　you　didn't　say　you　loved　me。'
　'I　might；'　he　said　seriously。　'I　don't　know　yet。'
　She　tossed　her　head。　'Oh；　e　off　it。　You　know　you　don't　have　to　say　those　things　to　me。　They're　meaningless。　You'll　get　what　you　want；　don't　you　know　that？'
　'I　don't　understand　you。'
　'I　told　you　before；'　she　said　patiently。　'I　don't　need　to　hear　those　things。　I　don't　need　that　illusion。　We　give　each　other　pleasure。　That's　enough　for　me。
　'Is　that　how　it　was　with　Saigo；　too？'　he　asked　harshly。　'I　meant　what　I　said。　I　do　care　about　you。　About　what　happens　to　you。　How　you　feel。　If　you're　happy　or　if　you're　sad。'
　She　stared　at　him　for　a　long　time　as　if　she　could　find　no　words　to　utter。　She　was　watching　him　carefully。　At　length　she　settled　back　onto　the　grass。
　'When　I　was　a　little　girl；'　she　said　in　a　small　voice；　'we'd　go　into　the　mountains　for　the　summer；　to　a　small　town　perched　high　up　on　the　sloping　wooded　side。　The　houses；　I　remember；　were　all　on　stilts。　It　was　the　first　time　I'd　seen　anything　like　that。　It　looked　like　a　town　out　of　a　storybook。
　'My　foster　parents　never　had　much　time　for　me　though　Satsugai　gave　them　enough　money　each　month。　They　never　wanted　children。　So　I　had　a　lot　of　time　to　myself。　I　remember　that　during　the　days　I'd　sit　in　the　tall　grass；　hearing　the　cicadas　in　my　ears　…　the　shrill　metallic　sound　of　the　locusts　late　in　the　summer　。。。'　She　breathed　deeply；　staring　up　at　the　nodding　foliage　of　the　cryptomeria。　'The　afternoons　seemed　endless。　I'd　sit　on　。the　mountainside；　overlooking　the　valley。　There　were　two　long　furrows　etched　into　the　foliage；　brown　and　sere；　mysteriously　bare；　as　if　some　giant　had　scored　the　land　in　anger。　I　used　to　spend　hours　wondering　who　had　made　those　cruel　marks。'
　'The　war；　perhaps；'　Nicholas　said。
　'Yes。　I　never　thought　of　that。'　She　turned　her　head　away　from　him。　'But　I'd　get　beaten　for　staying　away　so　long　even　though　I　knew　they　didn't　want　me　around。　There　was　never　any　passion。　Never　even　any　understanding。　I　was　like　an　alien　to　them；　some　freak；　a　miniature　adult。　It　seemed　as　if　they　had　never　been　children　themselves；　had　no　conception　of　what　it　was　like　to　be　a　child。'
　'Yukio；'　he　said　softly；　leaning　down　to　kiss　her　tenderly。
　When　they　broke　apart；　she　said；　'And　then　there　was　the　bamboo　grove。　It　was　somewhat　farther　down　the　mountainside。　I　discovered　it　quite　by　accident；　early　on；　when　I　was　？lost　one　afternoon。　I　used　to　creep　out　of　the　house　at　night；　the　darkness　stifled　me；　as　I　lay　in　bed；　sleepless。　It　became　solid；　a　crushing　weight　pressing　against　my　eyelids　until　I　had　to　get　out　of　there。
　'It　was　quite　near　a　stream　which　bubbled　constantly。　When　there　was　a　moon　it　looked　like　it　was　made　of　silver。　The　water　was　so　frigid；　it　numbed　your　mouth。
　'It　was　like　being　at　a　shrine；　standing　in　that　grove；　the　tall；　straight　bamboos　rising　like　columns　over　your　head。　Their　tops　sometimes　speared　the　huge　orange　harvest　moon　late　in　the　summer；　when　the　locusts　were　at　their　most　shrill。'　She　moved　against　him　as　if　making　herself　more　fortable。　He　felt　her　bare　flesh　against　his。　'It　was　the　only　place　I　could　call　my　own。　My　secret