thedestroyer.deathcheck-第25节

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er　mind。　He　would　read　the　note　and　leave。　And　if　he　ever　saw　her　again；　he　would　kill　her；　because　she　would　recognize　him。
　He　ripped　open　the　envelope；　not　bothering　to　turn　on　the　light　but　reading　from　the　late　afternoon　sun　ing　vaguely　through　the　windows。
　〃Darling　Remo。〃
　Oh；　what　a　little　bullshitter　she　was。　Cunt。　
　〃I　never　told　you　why　I　especially　loved　Conn　Mac…Cleary。〃
　Because　he　screwed　you　when　you　were　three。　〃I　was　an　ugly　child；　with　many　freckles。　Youngsters　as　you　know　can　be　cruel。〃　As　opposed　to　women。
　〃The　other　children　tormented　me　because　of　my　freckles。　My　nickname　was　the　Hebrew　children's　equivalent　of　shit…face。〃
　Even　then　they　knew。
　〃One　day；　Conn　heard　the　remark。　And　he　looked　surprised。　'Do　you　know；'　he　said；　'that　a　woman　without　freckles　is　like　a　night　without　stars？'　And　of　course　the　other　children　said；　but　what　about　a　girl？　And　he　told　them　that　a　girl　with　freckles　is　like　the　dawn　of　life；　the　beauty　of　a　new　day；　and　she　is　so　beautiful　that　like　the　shining　sun；　some　people　could　not　see　the　beauty　right　away。　I　guess　that　started　it。　I　just　always　believed　I　would　be　beautiful　and　there　is　nothing　like　that　to　encourage　the　reality　of　it。　That　started　my　swelled　head；　of　course。　Conn　probably　had　a　bag　on；　I　don't　remember。　But　that　sort　of　talk　is　easy　to　take。　In　any　case；　Remo；　I　grew　up　in　a　house　where　every　so　often　my　father　would　leave。　And　although　they　did　not　want　that　life　for　me；　I　followed　it。　I　guess　I　had　to　follow　it。　Maybe　I　wanted　to　follow　it。　You　see　enough　numbers　tattooed　on　people's　arms　and　hear　enough　stories　and　you　know　what　you　must　do。　〃That　is　what　has　brought　me　here。　One　of　them。　Have　you　ever　heard　of　Hans　Frichtmann？　The　butchei　of　Treblinka？　Here　at　the　Forum。
　〃I　should　not　tell　you　this；　but　it　is　of　no　matter。　I　have　already　made　so　many　mistakes　since　meeting　you；　telling　you　this　in　print　probably　will　not　matter。　I　love　you；　Remo。　And　if　I　saw　you　again；　I　would　be　hopelessly　in　love。　And　because　you　are　who　you　are　and　I　am　who　I　am；　this　could　not　be。　Maybe　I　am　deluding　myself　into　believing　that　you　were　not　deluding　me。　If　you　were；　I　salute　you。　But　this　delusion；　then；　of　your　love；　I　will　cherish　until　the　last　long　night　without　stars。
　〃I　guess　all　of　us　carry　our　histories　like　crosses　and　our　destinies　like　fools。　But　occasionally；　we　must　succumb　to　logic。　And　the　logic　of　our　situation　is　that　our　love　would　destroy　us。　If　we　could　only　shake　our　duties　like　old　dust。　But　we　cannot。　Mad　dogs　yet　roam　the　world　and　for　those　we　love；　we　must　search　them　out；　fighting　all　the　time　to　keep　our　humanity　despite　the　pressures　to　fight　dogs　like　dogs。
　〃We　gave　each　other　only　an　hour　and　a　promise。　Let　us　cherish　that　hour　in　the　small　places　which　keep　us　kind。　You　are　kind　and　good　and　really　very　gentle。　Do　not　let　your　enemies　ever　destroy　that；　darling。　For　as　surely　as　the　Jordan　flows；　we　shall；　if　we　maintain　that　goodness；　meet　again　in　that　morning　that　never　ends。　This　is　our　promise　that　we　will　keep。　I　love　you；　Remo。　〃Deborah。〃
　Well；　shit。　That's　a　woman　for　you。　Of　course；　she　loved　him。　How　else　could　she　call　him　kind　and　good　and　gentle？　The　utter　silliness　of　it　all。　Remo　read　the　letter　again　and　felt　very　good。　Then　he　tore　it　up；　because　precautions　were　precautions；　and　lit　the　pieces　with　a　match。　She　was　obviously　finishing　her　assignment；　and　Remo　would；　as　he　painfully　knew；　only　be　in　the　way　of　it。　So　the　simple　thing　was　to　go　to　Dayton；　and　then　buy　a　ticket　to　Chicago；　and　there　find　someone　who　vaguely　looks　like　you　and　who　has　a　passport。　Then　kindly；　good　and　gentle　Remo　Williams　would　work　something　on　the　poor　bastard；　and　be　out　of　the　country　and　headed　toward　Israel　and　that　town　in　the　Negev。
　He　would　go　there；　find　her　parents；　and　wait。　He　would　tell　her　parents　to　mention　some　phrase　from　the　note。　And　she　would　e　running　home。　CURE　would　find　him　though。　Well；　he'd　work　something　out。　All　this　think　and　counterthink　had　been　a　bother　anyway。　Hell；　maybe　he'd　just　find　her　now　and　they　would　both　go　somewhere。
　Remo　watched　the　last　scrap　of　paper　burn　and；　leaving　the　cottage；　accidentally　bumped　into　the　door。　To　hell　with　it。　Everyone　bumped　into　doors。
　He　was　tired　now；　very　tired。　The　sun　drained　him　and　the　walking　drained　him。　He　stumbled　on　the　walk。　He　had　pressed　too　hard　too　long　and　now　he　was　running　down。　He　was　sweating　now；　for　real。　Real　sweat　from　the　afternoon　heat。　He　stumbled　again。
　He　looked　up　and　saw　Brewster's　office。　He　would　rest　there　awhile　and　then　leave。　Stephanie　was　at　the　door；　but　he　didn't　feel　like　talking。　He　tried　to　pat　her　on　the　head。　But　inexplicably　his　hand　missed　and　he　fell　full…length　on　the　polar　bear　rug。　He　crawled　to　the　couch；　and　pulled　himself　up　onto　it。　In　the　cool　of　the　air　conditioning；　he　drifted　off。　Out。
　Then　there　was　the　sleep。　It　was　a　deep；　unconscious　leaving。　And　there　were　dreams。
　Chiun；　his　aged　Korean　instructor；　saying：　〃Do　not　pass　this　point。　Do　not　pass　this　point。　Do　not　pass　this　point。〃
　And　other　voices；　Oriental　voices。　And　Chiun　was　telling　the　other　voices　that　he　had　not　passed　the　point　yet；　so　they　must　stand　back。　And　Chiun　wore　black　robes　and　a　black　headband　and　he　was　motioning　that　Remo　should　go　to　his　special　room　and　stay　there。　He　should　stay　there　until　everything　was　all　right。　Chiun　would　sit　with　him。　Remo　had　just　worked　too　hard　and　too　long。
　Remo　should　go　into　the　room　and　Chiun　would　sit　with　him　and　talk　to　him。
　And　since　he　wasn't　doing　anything　important　at　the　moment　other　than　dying；　Remo　decided　to　go　into　the　room　where　Chiun　was　waiting。　He　could　always　die。　That　was　Chiun　talking。　Funny；　he　thought　he　had　been　saying　that。　But　it　was　Chiun　saying　that。　Remo　could　die　later　if　he　wished。　He　could　die　any　tune　he　wanted。　Promise？　Yes。　Chiun　promised。
　So　Remo　went。　It　was　very　cold　hi　the　room　and　Chiun　looked　very　mean　and　stern。　He　was　not　here　to　punish　Remo　but　to　save　him。　But　you　promised　I　could　die？
　You　cannot　die。
　I　want　to　die。
　You　may　not。　There　are　things　you　must　do　because　your　life　is　precious。
　Leave　me　alone。　I　want　to　die。　You　promised。
　But　you　are　in　the　room　now；　Remo；　and　here　you　are　not　permitted　to　die。
　You're　a　liar。
　Yes；　I　lied　to　you。　I　hurt　you。
　Yes；　you　do。
　I　will　hurt　you　more。　For　I　am　in　this　room　with　you　and　I　am　going　to　hurt　you　more。　You　will　feel　great　pain。
　I　do　not　want　to　hurt。
　Listen。　You　are　dying。　But　I　will　not　let　you　die；　Remo。　I　prepared　this　room　so　that　you　should　not　die。　That　is　why　together　we　prepared　this　room。　Your　room；　Remo。　It　holds　your　youth。　Without　the　miracle　of　rest；　you　have　lived　a　lifetime　in　three　months。　You　are　an　old　man；　Remo。　All　that　you　took　by　your　will　and　your　effort　has　been　taken　back　because　you　used　it　too　long。　But　watch。　We　will　do　a　trick。　e　with　me　and　do　the　trick。　See　the　fire。　It　is　hot。　Hot。　We　will　run　through　the　fire。　The　trick　is　the　fire。　e。　Yes；　it　hurts；　but　e。　I　will　go　with　you。　Now。　Into　the　fire。
　And　he　was　roasting　alive；　in　incredible；　flashing　pain；　that　seared　Ms　flesh。　The　flames　burned　his　feet　and　licked　at　his　legs；　then　engulfed　his　entire　body　in　a　whooshing　roar。
　And　Remo　Williams　was　standing；　yelling　in　the　air…conditioned　office　and　little　Stephanie　Brewster　was　terrified　beside　him。　The　room　smelled　faintly　of　jasmine　and　the　chill　made　Remo　shake。　Was　it　his　imagination；　the　residue　of　the　dream；　or　did　he　smell　burning　flesh？
　Remo　rubbed　his　forehead；　and　felt　something　crumble　over　his　eyes。　It　was　charred　hair　on　his　eyebrows；　curled　white　ashes　that　powdered　in　his　fingers。
　Stephanie　lost　her　terror　and　began　clapping。　〃Oh；　do　that　again。　Do　it　again。　Wonderful。〃
　〃What？；〃　asked　Remo。
　〃I　didn't　know　you　did　magic。〃
　〃What　magic？〃
　〃You　just　lay　down　and　shut　your　eyes　and　then　you　lit　up　almost　like　a　light　bulb。　Oh；　it　was　stellar。　Stellar。　Very　unusual。　That's　redundant。　Something　isn't　very　unusual。　It's　unusual。〃
　〃How　long　was　I　here？〃
　〃Well；　I　didn't　have　my　stop　watch。　But　I　would　guess　two　or　three　minutes。　You　looked　very　tired　when　you　came　in；　and　then　you　fell；　and　your　hands　were　cold；　and　I　thought　you　were　having　a　coronary。　But　I　didn't　know　you　did　magic。〃
　〃Yeah；　kid。　That's　the　biz。　Look。　I'm　late　for　an　appointment。　Tell　your　dad　that　I'm　going　on　vacation　and　I　may　not　be　back　because　the　forum　is　too　rough　for　me。　Okay？〃
　〃I'll　write　it　down；〃　said　Stephanie。　With　her　awkward　six…year…old　hands；　she　maneuvered　a　pencil　over　several　pieces　of　note　paper；　in　a　handwriting　reminiscent　of　someone　designing　a　rope。
　〃I　paraphrased；〃　she　explained；　starting　on　the　first　page　which　contained　half　a　word。　〃Feelings　of。　inadequacy　impel　Remo　Pelham's　resignation。〃
　〃You've　got　it；　sweets。〃
　〃Well？〃
　〃Well；　what？〃
　〃Aren't　you　going　to　kiss　me　goodbye？〃　And　Remo　Williams　kissed　Stephanie　Brewster　goodbye　and　she　crinkled　her　nose；　explaining　that　his　face　was　hot。
　〃That's　the　biz；　kid；〃　Remo　said　with　lightness　of　heart；　and　he　left　with　his　very　dry　clothes　crackling　around　him　toward　his　appointment　hi　Dayton。　Wait　hi　Israe