tp.wyrd sisters-第11节

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nd　finds　them。'
　'Yes；　yes；'　said　Magrat。　'Sorry。'
　'Right；'　said　Granny；　slightly　mollified。　She'd　never　mastered　the　talent　for　apologising；　but　she　appreciated　it　in　other　people。
　'What　about　this　new　duke；　then；'　said　Nanny；　to　lighten　the　atmosphere。
　Granny　sat　back。　'He　had　some　houses　burned　down　in　Bad　Ass；'　she　said。　'Because　of　taxes。'
　'How　horrible；'　said　Magrat。
　'Old　Kind　Verence　used　to　do　that；'　said　Nanny。　'Terrible　temper　he　had。'
　'He　used　to　let　people　get　out　first；　though；'　said　Granny。
　'Oh　yes；'　said　Nanny；　who　was　a　staunch　royalist。　'He　could　be　very　gracious　like　that。　He'd　pay　for　them　to　be　rebuilt；　as　often　as　not。　If　he　remembered。'
　'And　every　Hogswatchnight；　a　side　of　venison。　Regular；'　said　Granny　wistfully。
　'Oh；　yes。　Very　respectful　to　witches；　he　was；'　added　Nanny　Ogg。　'When　he　was　out　hunting　people；　if　he　met　me　in　the　woods；　it　was　always　off　with　his　helmet　and　〃I　hope　I　finds　you　well；　Mistress　Ogg〃　and　next　day　he'd　send　his　butler　down　with　a　couple　of　bottles　of　something。　He　was　a　proper　king。'
　'Hunting　people　isn't　really　right；　though；'　said　Magrat。
　'Well；　no；'　Granny　Weatherwax　conceded。　'But　it　was　only　if　they'd　done　something　bad。　He　said　they　enjoyed　it　really。　And　he　used　to　let　them　go　if　they　gave　him　a　good　run；'
　'And　then　there　was　that　great　hairy　thing　of　his；'　said　Nanny　Ogg。
　There　was　a　perceptible　change　in　the　atmosphere。　It　became　warmer；　darker；　filled　at　the　corners　with　the　shadows　of　unspoken　conspiracy。
　'Ah；'　said　Granny　Weatherwax　distantly。　'His　droit　de　seigneur。'
　'Needed　a　lot　of　exercise；'　said　Nanny　Ogg；　staring　at　the　fire。
　'But　next　day　he'd　send　his　housekeeper　round　with　a　bag　of　silver　and　a　hamper　of　stuff　for　the　wedding；'　said　Granny。　'Many　a　couple　got　a　proper　start　in　life　thanks　to　that。'
　'Ah；'　agreed　Nanny。　'One　or　two　individuals；　too。'
　'Every　inch　a　king；'　said　Granny。
　'What　are　you　talking　about？'　said　Magrat　suspiciously。　'Did　he　keep　pets？'
　The　two　witches　surfaced　from　whatever　deeper　current　they　had　been　swimming　in。　Granny　Weatherwax　shrugged。
　'I　must　say；'　Magrat　went　on；　in　severe　tones；　'if　you　think　so　much　of　the　old　king；　you　don't　seem　very　worried　about　him　being　killed。　I　mean；　it　was　a　pretty　suspicious　accident。'
　'That's　kings　for　you；'　said　Granny。　'They　e　and　go；　good　and　bad。　His　father　poisoned　the　king　we　had　before。'
　'That　was　old　Thargum；'　said　Nanny　Ogg。　'Had　a　big　red　beard；　I　recall。　He　was　very　gracious　too；　you　know。'
　'Only　now　no…one　must　say　Felmet　killed　the　king；'　said　Magrat。
　'What？'　said　Granny。
　'He　had　some　people　executed　in　Lancre；　the　other　day　for　saying　it；'　Magrat　went　on。　'Spreading　malicious　lies；　he　said。　He　said　anyone　saying　different　will　see　the　inside　of　his　dungeons；　only　not　for　long。　He　said　Verence　died　of　natural　causes。'
　'Well；　being　assassinated　is　natural　causes　for　a　king；'　said　Granny。　'I　don't　see　why　he's　so　sheepish　about　it。　When　old　Thargum　was　killed　they　stuck　his　head　on　a　pole；　had　a　big　bonfire　and　everyone　in　the　palace　got　drunk　for　a　week。'
　'I　remember；'　said　Nanny。　'They　carried　his　head　all　round　the　villages　to　show　he　was　dead。　Very　convincing；　I　thought。　Specially　for　him。　He　was　grinning。　I　think　it　was　the　way　he　would　have　liked　to　go。'
　'I　think　we　might　have　to　keep　an　eye　on　this　one；　though；'　said　Granny。　'I　think　he　might　be　a　bit　clever。　That's　not　a　good　thing；　in　a　king。　And　I　don't　think　he　knows　how　to　show　respect。'
　'A　man　came　to　see　me　last　week　to　ask　if　I　wanted　to　pay　any　taxes；'　said　Magrat。　'I　told　him　no。'
　'He　came　to　see　me；　too；'　said　Nanny　Ogg。　'But　our　Jason　and　our　Wane　went　out　and　tole　him　we　didn't　want　to　join。'
　'Small　man；　bald；　black　cloak？'　said　Granny　thoughtfully。
　'Yes；'　said　the　other　two。
　'He　was　hanging　about　in　my　raspberry　bushes；'　said　Granny。　'Only；　when　I　went　out　to　see　what　he　wanted；　he　ran　away。'
　'Actually；　I　gave　him　tuppence；'　said　Magrat。　'He　said　he　was　going　to　be　tortured；　you　see；　if　he　didn't　get　witches　to　pay　their　taxes　。　。　。'
　Lord　Felmet　looked　carefully　at　the　two　coins　in　his　lap。
　Then　he　looked　at　his　tax　gatherer。
　'Well？'　he　said。
　The　tax　gatherer　cleared　his　throat。　'Well；　sir；　you　see。　I　explained　about　the　need　to　employ　a　standing　army；　ekcetra；　and　they　said　why；　and　I　said　because　of　bandits；　ekcetra；　and　they　said　bandits　never　bothered　them。'
　'And　civil　works？'
　'Ah。　Yes。　Well；　I　pointed　out　the　need　to　build　and　maintain　bridges；　ekcetra。'
　'And？'
　'They　said　they　didn't　use　them。'
　'Ah；'　said　the　duke　knowledgeably。　'They　can't　cross　running　water。'
　'Not　sure　about　that；　sir。　I　think　witches　cross　anything　they　like。'
　'Did　they　say　anything　else？'　said　the　duke。
　The　tax　gatherer　twisted　the　hem　of　his　robe　distractedly。
　'Well；　sir。　I　mentioned　how　taxes　help　to　maintain　the　King's　Peace；　sir　。　。　。　'
　'And？'
　'They　said　the　king　should　maintain　his　own　peace；　sir。　And　then　they　gave　me　a　look。'
　'What　sort　of　look？'
　The　duke　sat　with　his　thin　face　cupped　in　one　hand。　He　was　fascinated。
　'It's　sort　of　hard　to　describe；'　said　the　taxman。　He　tried　to　avoid　Lord　Felmet's　gaze；　which　was　giving　him　the　distinct　impression　that　the　tiled　floor　was　fleeing　away　in　all　directions　and　had　already　covered　several　acres。　Lord　Felmet's　fascination　was　to　him　what　a　pin　is　to　a　Purple　Emperor。
　'Try；'　the　duke　invited。
　The　taxman　blushed。
　'Well；'　he　said。　'It　。　。　。　wasn't　nice。'
　Which　demonstrates　that　the　tax　gatherer　was　much　better　at　figures　than　words。　What　he　would　have　said；　if　embarrassment；　fear；　poor　memory　and　a　plete　lack　of　any　kind　of　imagination　hadn't　conspired　against　it；　was：
　'When　I　was　a　little　boy；　and　staying　with　my　aunt；　and　she　had　told　me　not　to　touch　the　cream；　ekcetra；　and　she　had　put　it　on　a　high　shelf　in　the　pantry；　and　I　got　a　stool　and　went　after　it　when　she　was　out　anyway；　and　she'd　e　back　and　I　didn't　know；　and　I　couldn't　reach　the　bowl　properly　and　it　smashed　on　the　floor；　and　she　opened　the　door　and　glared　at　me：　it　was　that　look。　But　the　worst　thing　was；　they　knew　it。'
　'Not　nice；'　said　the　duke。
　'No；　sir。'
　The　duke　drummed　the　fingers　of　his　left　hand　on　the　arm　of　his　throne。　The　tax　gatherer　coughed　again。
　'You're　…　you're　not　going　to　force　me　to　go　back；　are　you？'　he　said。
　'Um？'　said　the　duke。　He　waved　a　hand　irritably。　'No；　no；'　he　said。　'Not　at　all。　Just　call　in　at　the　torturer　on　your　way　out。　See　when　he　can　fit　you　in。'
　The　taxman　gave　him　a　look　of　gratitude；　and　bobbed　a　bow。
　'Yes；　sir。　At　once；　sir。　Thank　you；　sir。　You're　very…'
　'Yes；　yes；'　said　Lord　Felmet；　absently。　'You　may　go。'
　The　duke　was　left　alone　in　the　vastness　of　the　hall。　It　was　raining　again。　Every　once　in　a　while　a　piece　of　plaster　smashed　down　on　the　tiles；　and　there　was　a　crunching　from　the　walls　as　they　settled　still　further。　The　air　smelled　of　old　cellars。
　Gods；　he　hated　this　kingdom。
　It　was　so　small；　only　forty　miles　long　and　maybe　ten　miles　wide；　and　nearly　all　of　it　was　cruel　mountains　with　ice…green　slopes　and　knife…edge　crests；　or　dense　huddled　forests。　A　kingdom　like　that　shouldn't　be　any　trouble。
　What　he　couldn't　quite　fathom　was　this　feeling　that　it　had　depth。　It　seemed　to　contain　far　too　much　geography。
　He　rose　and　paced　the　floor　to　the　balcony；　with　its　unrivalled　view　of　trees。　It　struck　him　that　the　trees　were　also　looking　back　at　him。
　He　could　feel　the　resentment。　But　that　was　odd；　because　the　people　themselves　hadn't　objected。　They　didn't　seem　to　object　to　anything　very　much。　Verence　had　been　popular　enough；　in　his　way。　There'd　been　quite　a　turnout　for　the　funeral；　he　recalled　the　lines　of　solemn　faces。　Not　stupid　faces。　By　no　means　stupid。　Just　preoccupied；　as　though　what　kings　did　wasn't　really　very　important。
　He　found　that　almost　as　annoying　as　trees。　A　jolly　good　riot；　now；　that　would　have　been　more　…　more　appropriate。　One　could　have　ridden　out　and　hanged　people；　there　would　have　been　the　creative　tension　so　essential　to　the　proper　development　of　the　state。　Back　down　on　the　plains；　if　you　kicked　people　they　kicked　back。　Up　here；　when　you　kicked　people　they　moved　away　and　just　waited　patiently　for　your　leg　to　fall　off。　How　could　a　king　go　down　in　history　ruling　a　people　like　that？　You　couldn't　oppress　them　any　more　than　you　could　oppress　a　mattress。
　He　had　raised　taxes　and　burned　a　few　villages　on　general　principles；　just　to　show　everyone　who　they　were　dealing　with。　It　didn't　seem　to　have　any　effect。
　And　then　there　were　these　witches。　They　haunted　him。
　'Fool！'
　The　Fool；　who　had　been　having　a　quiet　doze　behind　the　throne；　awoke　in　terror。
　'Yes！'
　'e　hither；　Fool。'
　The　Fool　jingled　miserably　across　the　floor。
　'Tell　me；　Fool；　does　it　always　rain　here？'
　'Marry；　nuncle…'
　'Just　answer　the　question；'　said　Lord　Felmet；　with　iron　patience。
　'Sometimes　it　stops；　sir。　To　make　room　for　the　snow。　And　sometimes　we　get　some　right　squand'ring　orgulous　fogs；'　said　the　Fool。
　'Orgulous？'　said　the　duke；　absently。
　The　Fool　couldn't　stop　himself。　His　horrified　ears　heard　his　mouth　blurt　out：　Thick；　my　lord。　From　the　Latatian　orgulum；　a　soup　or　broth。'
　But　the　du