jefflong.yearzero-第80节

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　Everyone　was　listening。　He　went　on。　〃Seasoning；〃　he　said。　〃Ochs's　word。　Spartacus　used　the　execution　to　prepare　his　army。　For　a　week；　they　lived　with　the　message。　Out　of　suffering　they　were　born；　through　suffering　they　would　be　freed。〃
　〃I　still　don't　see。。。。〃
　〃Spartacus　waited　for　the　prisoner　to　die；〃　finished　Nathan　Lee。　〃And　then　his　army　was　ready。〃
　For　a　moment　every　eye　fixed　on　the　figure　of　Izzy。　He　looked　so　small　up　there　against　the　sky。　So　mortal。　Like　a　tiny　island。
　　
　〃E　WITH　ME；〃　Nathan　Lee　said。
　It　was　nearly　midnight。　There　was　nothing　more　they　could　do。　The　crucifixion　had　been　turned　over　to　medical　experts　who　were　guessing　about　Izzy's　endurance；　to　optics　wonks　trying　to　boost　the　low…lux　video　image；　to　meteorologists　warning　of　a　cold　front；　and　to　the　satellite　people　laboring　to　pinpoint　his　individual　thermal　signature　among　the　million　others。　Suddenly　Izzy's　existence　had　bee　a　matter　of　life　and　death。
　Miranda　followed　him　from　the　council　room　and　out　into　the　night。　She　was　too　agitated　to　go　home。　Nathan　Lee　doubted　many　people　were　sleeping　this　night。　They　walked　to　Alpha　Lab；　crossing　the　bridge　beneath　a　dome　of　frozen　constellations。　There　was　no　moon；　only　the　glitter　of　pitiless　stars。　At　least　there　was　no　wind。　Izzy　was　naked。　Nathan　Lee　could　not　get　over　it。
　They　walked　quickly　through　the　cold。　Inside；　the　building　was　warm。　They　took　the　elevator　down　to　her　office。　A　mattress　was　leaning　up　against　one　wall　for　her　all…nighters。　Miranda　collapsed　in　a　chair。
　Nathan　Lee　stood　by　the　window　overlooking　the　incubation　capsules。　The　chamber　glowed　blue。　Tropical　humidity　beaded　the　far　side　of　the　glass。　He　pressed　one　fingertip　against　the　window。　It　felt　like　he　was　forever　on　the　outside　looking　in　at　one　world　or　another；　never　quite　sure　if　here　was　there。
　〃Miranda；〃　he　said。　It　was　time。　〃We　have　to　leave。〃
　He　saw　her　reflection　in　the　glass。　She　didn't　stir　in　her　chair。　He　turned　and　went　over　and　took　her　cold　hands。　Her　eyes　looked　hollowed　out。
　〃I　can　get　us　out　of　here；〃　he　said。　〃We'll　go　over　the　mountain。　While　there's　still　time。〃
　Unexpectedly；　she　smiled。　〃Paris？〃　she　said。
　〃Somewhere。〃
　She　touched　his　face。　〃And　then　what？〃
　All　through　the　evening　he　had　watched　men　and　women　ing　to　terms　with　the　looming　invasion。　As　one；　the　generals　had　stood　and　left　the　room　to　plot　their　own　strategem。　The　rest　had　stayed　and　pondered　their　options；　emptying　out　their　hopes；　blame；　and　wild　ideas。　Finally　they　had　exhausted　themselves。　Through　it　all；　Miranda　had　presided　over　their　confusion。　They　were　trapped　upon　their　mesa。　The　only　question　was　how　long　Izzy　might　last　and　when　the　end　would　e。
　〃Three　years；〃　he　said　to　her。　〃The　Sera…III。　Give　us　that　gift；　you　and　me。〃
　Her　smile　faded。　〃We've　been　through　this。　Without　the　city；　there　is　no　hope。　Everything　is　here。〃
　〃It's　too　late；　Miranda。　Your　father　was　too　late　with　his　kingdom　of　tunnels。　You're　too　late　with　your　magic。　The　plague　has　caught　up　with　us。　Think　of　us。〃
　〃I　am；〃　she　said。
　〃Then　quit　trying　to　save　the　world。〃
　〃Quit？〃　She　was　tender。　〃We　can't　quit。　You　taught　me　that。　Never　quit。〃
　〃It's　over；〃　he　said。
　〃No。〃　But　she　wasn't　being　stubborn。　The　smile　returned。　A　secret　smile。　〃It's　practically　within　our　grasp。〃
　〃You're　dreaming。〃　He　let　go　of　her　hands。
　〃Yes；　I'm　dreaming。〃
　〃What？　What　do　you　dream　about？〃　He　gestured　at　the　lab　works　below。　〃Glassware　and　tubes？〃
　〃Jungles；〃　she　said　quietly。　〃Searching　for　children；　looking　in　jungles。　Calling　their　names。　And　finding　them。　They　e　out　from　the　trees。〃
　〃Then　we'll　go　to　the　jungles。　We　can't　stay。〃
　〃I　have　to　stay。〃
　〃Stop　it；〃　he　shouted。　He　was　startled。　They　had　never　argued。
　After　a　minute；　she　said；　〃Go。〃
　〃I'm　sorry；〃　he　said。
　Then　she　said　it　again。　〃You　should　go。〃
　〃Not　without　you。〃
　〃I　have　no　choice；〃　she　said。　〃Believe　me。〃
　〃But　you　do；〃　he　said。
　She　closed　her　eyes　and　then　opened　them；　green　eyes。　〃Do　you　remember　that　time　I　called　you　in　decon？〃　she　said。　〃You　thought　I　was　pregnant。〃
　〃I　wanted　you　to　be　pregnant；〃　he　said。
　〃And　do　you　remember　how　surprised　I　was？〃　she　asked。
　〃You　said；　no　way。。。。〃
　〃I　said；　why　would　you　say　a　thing　like　that？〃
　A　long　minute　passed。
　〃I　still　don't　know　how　you　knew；〃　she　softly　finished。　She　took　his　hand　and　placed　it　on　her　stomach。　She　sounded　awestruck。　〃I'm　like　clockwork。　I　never　miss。　So　I　took　the　test。　She's　eleven　weeks　now。　It　may　have　happened　our　very　first　time。　That　time　in　the　woods。〃
　He　was　stunned。　His　whole　reality　shifted。　The　ground　felt　slippery。　He　tried　to　be　angry。Bring　a　child　into　this　world？　But　her　face　stopped　him。　She　was　radiant；　feverish　with　light；　inside　and　out。
　〃You　have　wanted　to　leave　so　badly；〃　she　said。　〃I　don't　want　anything　to　hold　you。〃
　〃But　I　didn't　know；〃　he　protested。
　〃Now　you　do。〃
　And　suddenly；　in　that　instant；　he　did　know。　He　looked　at　her　hands　on　top　of　his　hands。
　〃You　can　still　leave。〃　Her　voice　was　small。
　〃Miranda；〃　he　said；　〃I　will　never　leave　you。〃
　
　34
　Lost　Souls
　
　7：30A　。M。
　He　left　her　sleeping。　Now；　as　he　descended　Highway　502；　the　wreckage　and　smoke　were　like　something　out　of　Heironymus　Bosch；　medieval　and　sulphurous　and　weird。　The　Appaloosa　despised　it。　She　kept　balking。　Nathan　Lee　kept　nudging　her　on。　Here　and　there　across　the　river；　pilgrims　had　dragged　big；　oily　telephone　poles　into　huge　bonfires。　Even　the　flames　looked　rancid。
　The　row　of　crosses　along　the　far　banks　of　the　Rio　were　stark　and　untidy；　tilting　at　crazy　angles；　like　the　masts　on　a　sinking　ship。　From　this　distance　they　appeared　empty。　Thepenitentes　had　given　up　their　perches。　Maybe　people　had　tired　of　their　theater　and　pretence。　Blood　is　not　always　blood。　Some　is　more　real。
　Drawing　closer　to　the　bridge；　he　remembered　every　detail　of　his　slow　passage　up　this　highway。　Partly　it　was　the　pace；　horseback　and　gradual。　He　passed　the　same　mile　marker　that　once　designated　the　tree　holding　his　saddlebags　from　the　Smithsonian；　and　there　was　the　tree。　Yet　everything　was　changed。　The　tree　was　nothing　but　dead　branches；　killed　by　defoliant。　As　far　as　his　eyes　could　see；　the　rolling　valley　floor　was　painted　absurdly　bright　orange。　He　remembered　the　fine　July　light；　and　that　was　gone。　He　remembered　his　high　hopes；　and　they　were　gone；　too。　Not　gone；　really；　but　changed。　Refined；　at　best。　Mutated；　definitely。　It　frightened　him。　He　didn't　understand　what　he　was　doing　down　here。　His　idea　was　so　muddy　and　half　finished；　so　perilous；　that　it　couldn't　even　be　called　an　idea。　A　vision；　something　like　that。But　what　if　he　was　wrong？　He　tried　to　put　Miranda　out　of　mind。　He　had　promised　her；　and　now。。。this。
　The　stench　of　camp　reached　out　from　a　mile　off。　The　Appaloosa　snorted。　Her　breath　smoked　in　the　cold。　She　pulled　at　the　reins。　Nathan　Lee　kept　her　in　motion　with　a　few　gentle　words。　〃I　know；〃　he　said。　He　stroked　her　dappled　neck。　Her　muscles　trembled。
　Closer　still；　they　passed　through　a　gauntlet　of　shot…up　cars　and　trucks　and　troop　carriers　littering　the　roadside。　Some　stuck　nose…first　in　the　gullies。　Many　had　rolled　violently；　thrown　by　land　mines；　mangled　by　rocket　fire。　Windshields　were　spiderwebbed　from　bullet　holes。　Bodies　in　white　or　orange　or　blue　or　green　moon　suits　lay　where　snipers　had　dropped　them。　Only　now　did　Nathan　Lee　see　that　the　battle　for　Los　Alamos　had　been　going　on　for　weeks；　a　low　grade　skirmishing　in　this　noman's…land。　The　generals　had　not　breathed　a　word　of　it。　The　city　had　been　in　more　danger　than　the　citizens　knew。
　Now　he　saw　the　abandoned　trenches。　Right　and　left；　ugly　dirt　roads　threaded　off　to　hunched；　mounded　fire　bases　facing　the　siege　camp。　They　looked　menacing；　but　were　empty。　Over　the　last　few　days；　it　was　now　plain；　the　generals　had　withdrawn　their　army。　Nathan　Lee　hadn't　seen　a　soldier　for　miles；　not　since　leaving　the　city's　fences　before　dawn。
　The　bridge　lay　a　quarter…mile　ahead。　Thick　flocks　of　birds　hung　above　camp。　Dark　shapes　gathered　along　the　water's　edge；　watching　him。　High　atop　his　horse；　towering　above　the　roadside　debris；　Nathan　Lee　felt　like　he　was　hanging　in　midair。
　A　humvee's　headlight　suddenly　shattered　at　his　side。　The　Appaloosa　sheered　left；　and　Nathan　Lee　had　to　fight　to　steady　her。　Then　someone　stitched　the　metal　fender　with　another　dozen　warning　shots。　The　rounds　didn't　punch　neat；　little　perforations。　They　passed　laterally　along　the　metal　skin；　ripping　the　fender　with　long　knifing　gashes。
　Nathan　Lee　saw；　but　did　not　hear；　the　sparkle　of　muzzle　flash　in　the　distance。　He　willed　his　heart　to　slow　down；　but　it　wouldn't。　He　felt　dizzy。　Crazy。It's　not　too　late；　a　voice　whispered。　He　could　take　cover　among　the　wrecks；　wait　for　night；　climb　the　highway。Go　home。　They　might　still　let　him　back　inside。　Run　him　through　decon。　Restore　him　to　life。　That　was　his　temptation。　Yet　another。
　But　they　would　refuse　him　at　the　gate。　He　knew　the　rules　of　engagement。　He　wasn't　wearing　a　moon　suit。　He'd　never　make　it　close　to　the　city　again。　They　would　drop　him　with　a　bullet　at　five　hundred　yards。　Descending　without　the　suit　had　been　a　conscious　choice；　just　like　his　decision　not　to　infect　himse