jefflong.yearzero-第71节

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　〃I　did。　I　tried。〃　What　had　been　going　on　in　his　absence？
　〃I　thought　you　might　try　to　disown　him。〃
　〃He's　not　mine；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。
　〃But　you　helped　create　him。　The　clones　were　speechless　animals；　at　least　most　of　them；〃　said　the　physician。　〃You　gave　them　a　voice。　You　built　them　a　stage。　I　never　imagined　anyone　would　go　so　far　for　them。〃
　〃They're　harmless。　The　messiah　is　somebody's　idea　of　a　practical　joke。〃
　〃The　city　was　so　safe；　just　one　more　spot　on　the　map；〃　said　the　physician。　〃Everything　was　fine。　But　now　the　mob　is　ing。〃　And　yet　he　didn't　sound　resentful。
　〃The　soldiers　will　protect　us。〃　Nathan　Lee　felt　trapped。　He　was　at　the　man's　mercy；　locked　in　here。　What　did　he　want　with　him？
　〃What　if　it's　too　late？〃　The　question　was　rhetorical；　not　bitter。
　〃Who　are　you？〃　Nathan　Lee　demanded。
　〃I　just　wanted　to　say　thank　you；　Nathan　Lee。〃
　〃For　what？〃
　〃For　doing　your　part。〃
　〃My　part　of　what？〃
　〃As　you　put　it；　the　joke；〃　said　the　voice。
　The　voice　departed。　Nathan　Lee　called　to　the　ceiling　speaker　for　the　man　to　e　back；　but　there　was　only　silence。　He　hammered　at　his　door；　and　the　staff　ignored　him。
　Next　morning；　when　a　nurse　spoke　to　him　over　the　inter；　Nathan　Lee　demanded　to　know　who　the　physician　was　that　had　been　talking　to　him　each　night。　She　checked　their　records；　and　there　was　no　such　physician；　no　nighttime　psychiatrists；　no　midnight　calls。　By　her　tone　of　voice；　Nathan　Lee　could　tell　she　thought　he　was　imagining　things。　A　lot　of　their　patients　did　that。
　　
　ON　THE　EVEof　his　release；　Miranda　was　allowed　to　place　a　call。　You　were　supposed　to　be　inmunicado　in　here。　The　stated　reason　was　that　decon　was　a　period　of　debriefing。　Contact　with　family　and　friends　might　contaminate　your　information。　In　fact；　Nathan　Lee　suspected；　the　authorities　feared　letting　people　see　their　loved　ones　so　raw　and　wild。　Tucked　away　in　decon；　the　psychiatrists　had　time　to　tame　you。
　Nathan　Lee's　puter　screen　flickered　to　life　and　Miranda's　face　appeared　on　the　wall。　The　camera　softened　her　cheeks。　She　looked　different；　even　healthy。　He　couldn't　put　his　finger　on　it。
　〃Your　two　weeks　are　almost　up；〃　she　announced　brightly。
　He　sat　up；　dull　and　heavy。　His　eyes　hurt　from　the　reflected　light　on　the　stainless　steel　walls。　He　was　sick　from　dreaming　too　much。　〃Miranda；〃　he　said。
　〃Is　that　tan　for　real？　You　look　like　a　gigolo。〃
　She　was　calling　from　her　kitchen　puter。　It　was　late　afternoon。　He　could　tell　by　the　long　shadows。　She　was　eating　toast；　trying　to　appear　casual；　as　if　this　were　just　another　call　on　her　list。
　〃I　miss　you；〃　he　said。
　〃I　heard　about　your　daughter；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　sorry。〃
　He　felt　stupid　with　inertia。　〃What's　going　on　out　there？　I　heard　about　the　pilgrims。〃
　〃Yes。　Poor　people。〃
　Nathan　Lee　didn't　pursue　it。　〃You　shouldn't　have　sent　the　Captain　after　me；〃　he　said。
　〃Don't　blame　me；〃　she　said。　〃I　never　would　have　done　that　to　him。　He　sent　himself。　He　had　his　reasons。　His　own；　you　know；　loss。〃
　Nathan　Lee　fell　silent。
　〃It　was　a　grand　try；〃　Miranda　said。　〃Doomed。　But　grand。〃
　Nathan　Lee　looked　away　from　the　screen。　He　didn't　want　grand；　he　wanted　ordinary。　He　didn't　want　hardships；　he　wanted　a　soft　bed　and　a　hot　shower。　People　lauded　his　adventures　as　plunges　into　his　soul；　never　realizing　he　was　in　an　almost　constant　state　of　escape　from　his　own　missteps　and　unworthiness。　All　his　life　he　had　felt。。。starved。
　〃Ochs　is　gone；〃　she　said。　〃In　case　you　were　wondering。〃　She　seemed　to　lean　closer；　watching　for　a　reaction。
　Ochs。〃What　did　you　do　with　him？〃
　〃Not　me；〃　she　said。　〃My　father。　He's　here。〃
　〃He　came　up　from　the　sanctuary？〃
　〃He　flew　in　by　helicopter。　He　had　business　to　attend。　Loose　ends。〃
　There　was　so　much　to　talk　about。　Suddenly　Nathan　Lee　could　not　wait　to　be　out　of　this　place。　〃Where　did　Ochs　go？〃　he　asked。
　〃Out。　Down　from　the　Hill。　He　left　before　he　could　be　deported。　The　perimeter　cameras　showed　him　walking　across　the　bridge　over　the　river。　No　one　knows　where　he　went。〃　She　hesitated。　〃Are　you　going　after　him？〃
　He　was　not。　Ochs　was　dead　to　him。　There　were　a　dozen　different　ways　to　state　that。　Nathan　Lee　chose　carefully。　〃And　lose　you？〃　he　said。
　It　was　the　right　answer。　Her　lips　opened；　but　she　said　nothing。
　〃We　need　to　talk；〃　he　said。　His　nightmares　of　the　sea　had　e　back。　He　kept　dreaming　of　the　children　and　letting　go　of　the　ship；　cutting　loose　from　the　lost　ones。But　what　if　he　had　saved　them？
　She　leaned　into　the　camera。　Her　face　distorted　on　his　screen。　〃Not　now；〃　she　said。　She　smiled。　〃I'll　tell　you　more；　later。　Be　ready；〃　she　warned　him。　〃That's　why　I　called。　Heads　up。　My　father　wants　to　meet　you。〃
　〃Me？〃
　〃He　said　it's　important。〃
　It　came　to　him；　her　fleshed…out　face；　the　green　eyes　no　longer　so　sunken。　〃You're　pregnant；〃　he　blurted　out。
　For　a　moment　he　was　overjoyed。
　She　looked　jolted。　〃Why　would　you　say　such　a　thing？〃
　〃I　just　thought；　your　father；　us。。。〃　He　stopped；　embarrassed。　It　had　bee　pathetic；　his　groping　for　a　family　of　his　own。　He　remembered　Miranda's　words　from　what　seemed　a　lifetime　ago；　that　bringing　a　child　into　the　world　would　be　a　cruelty。　〃I　was　wrong；〃　he　said。
　〃Go　to　sleep；　Nathan　Lee。〃　The　screen　went　blank。
　That　night　he　dreamed　about　the　Russian　ship　again；　the　faces　bobbing　in　the　dark　water。
　　
　NEXT　MORNING；　dressed　in　clean　jumpsuits；　he　and　Captain　Enote　were　taken　to　the　gates　of　South　Sector　and　processed　out。　A　humvee　waited　on　the　far　side　of　the　wire。　The　world　looked　fresh　and　unspoiled　out　there。　The　morning　air　was　so　crisp　it　was　like　snapping　your　fingers。
　The　Captain　took　deep　draughts　of　the　air。　His　face　was　copper　from　the　UVs；　but　he　had　lost　weight　in　decon。　He　looked　gaunt　and　very　old　this　morning；　and　Nathan　Lee　felt　ashamed；　as　if　it　were　his　fault　the　man　had　gone　through　so　much　suffering。　〃Thanks；〃　he　said。　He　kept　it　unadorned。　〃Are　you　okay？〃
　The　Captain　nodded　once。　〃It　was　a　bad　place。　But　good　for　thinking；〃　he　said。　〃Now　things　are　very　clear　to　me。〃　He　didn't　elaborate。
　The　driver　had　been　instructed　to　deliver　Nathan　Lee　first。　〃Dr。　Abbot　is　waiting　for　you。〃
　〃He　can　wait　a　little　more；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。　He　made　the　driver　first　take　the　Captain　to　his　little　house　above　the　town。　It　was　set　among　the　pines；　and　Nathan　Lee　saw　a　treehouse　made　of　scrap　wood。　That　was　for　Tara。　The　Captain　got　out　stiffly。　Nathan　Lee　stayed　in　the　deeper　recesses　of　the　hummer。　He　didn't　want　Tara　to　see　him；　not　this　morning　when　he　would　only　leave　her　too　soon。
　The　Captain　faced　his　home。　He　didn't　have　an　ounce　of　luggage。　〃We'll　see　you　later；〃　he　said。
　Near　the　tip　of　the　mesa　finger　they　came　to　Miranda's　house。　Nathan　Lee　approached　the　front　door。　He　could　still　taste　the　toothpaste　from　South　Sector。　After　all　the　decon；　he'd　probably　never　smelled　so　clean　in　his　life。
　Miranda　opened　the　door　before　he　could　knock。　She　was　taller　than　he　remembered。　He　felt　frail　and　self　conscious。　He　half…expected　a　plague　kiss；　which　had　bee　the　fashion　in　Los　Alamos；　a　darting　of　cheek　toward　cheek；　lips　pursed；　no　contact。　She　kissed　him　on　the　mouth　and　hugged　him　tight　enough　to　feel　her　heart　drumming　in　her　ribs。　〃You're　back；〃　she　whispered。
　Her　father　was　in　the　kitchen；　one　cellphone　to　his　ear；　another　in　his　opposite　hand。　His　hair　was　thick　and　black；　bed　straight　back　from　his　high　forehead。　He　was　dressed　sharply；　ready　for　prime　time；　issuing　a　mand。　He　measured　Nathan　Lee　from　the　corner　of　his　eye。　Nathan　Lee　saw　Miranda's　height　and　strong　jaw　in　Paul　Abbot；　and　her　long；　columnar　neck。
　〃You　need　to　eat；〃　Miranda　said　to　Nathan　Lee。　She　poured　a　glass　of　orange　juice　from　the　refrigerator；　and　he　took　his　time　with　it；　savoring　the　coldness　and　sweet　taste。
　Everything　seemed　so　delicate。　And　deep。　The　mountains　looked　a　million　miles　away。　His　focus　had　dwindled　to　a　few　feet　away　within　the　cell。
　〃Sit；〃　she　manded。　She　was　nervous；　which　brought　the　dictator　out　in　her。　〃Or　stand。〃
　〃I'm　fine；　Miranda。〃
　Her　father　held　up　a　one…minute　finger。
　Glancing　around；　Nathan　Lee　saw　Miranda's　defiance　to　her　father。　It　was　in　the　details。　She　had　left　dirty　dishes　stacked　in　the　sink；　which　was　not　like　her；　and　books　piled　on　the　counter。　Also；　she　had　brought　Nathan　Lee's　Matisse　statue　from　the　bedroom。　The　little　nude　was　conspicuous　in　a　beam　of　sunlight。　The　jade　glowed　with　inner　light；　all　curves　and　hips　and　attitude。
　Then　he　saw　a　cube　of　clear　plastic；　three　inches　square；　on　the　kitchen　table。　Suspended　in　its　center　was　what　looked　like　a　morphine　ampule；　the　type　bat　soldiers　stabbed　into　wounded　rades。　He'd　seen　enough　of　them　on　his　passage　through　America　to　know　that　this　one　didn't　contain　morphine；　though。　The　liquid　was　wheat…colored；　like　the　sera　Miranda　had　showed　him　in　the　storage　freezers。　It　was　easy　to　infer　this　was　what　his　midnight　visitor　had　described；　the　Sera…III。
　Abbot　finished。　In　one　movement；　he　flipped　shut　the　phone；　stood；　and　thrust　out　one　hand。　Handshakes　had　fallen　from　fashion；　too；　but　he　didn't　hesitate。　〃Nathan　Lee　Swift；〃　he　said。　In　the　pool　of　his　gaze；　Nathan　Lee　saw　that　everything　that　could　be　known　about　him；　Abbot　knew；　including　his　latest　blood　analysis。　Arguably