dk.coldfire-第78节

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　〃…down　in　Atlanta；　Georgia…〃　He　was　still　shaking　his　head；　but　his　eyes　were　widening。　
　〃…you　were　with　them〃　He　stopped　denying；　and　a　terrible　expression　stained　his　face。　
　〃…it　was　called　the　Dixie　Duck；〃　she　said。　
　When　the　memory　exploded　back　to　him　with　pile…driver　force；　he　hunched　forward　on　the　bench　as　if　he　might　vomit；　but　he　did　not。　He　curled　his　hands　into　fists　on　his　knees；　and　his　face　tightened　into　a　clench　er…　of　pain；　and　he　made　small　inarticulate　sounds　that　were　beyond　grief　and　horror。　
　and　She　put　an　arm　around　his　bent　shoulders。　
　his　Henry　Ironheart　looked　at　her　and　said；　〃Oh；　my　God；〃　as　he　began　to　realize　the　extremity　of　denial　to　which　his　grandson　had　been　driven。　
　mad　〃Oh；　my　God。〃　As　Jim's　strangled　gasps　of　pain　changed　into　quiet　sobs；　few　Henry　Ironheart　looked　at　the　flowers　again；　then　at　his　aged　hands；　then　away；　at　his　feet　on　the　tilted　braces　of　the　wheelchair；　everywhere　he　could　think　away　to　look　to　avoid　Jim　and　Holly；　but　at　last　he　met　Holly's　eyes　again。　〃He　had　therapy；〃　he　said；　trying　hard　to　expiate　his　guilt。　〃We　knew　he　might　need　therapy。　We　took　him　to　a　psychiatrist　in　Santa　Barbara。　Took　him　i　the　there　several　times。　We　did　what　we　could。　But　the　psychiatrist…Hemp　hill；　his　name　was…he　said　Jim　was　all　right；　he　said　there　was　no　reason　to　bring　him　any　more；　just　after　six　visits；　he　said　Jim　was　all　right。〃　
　Holly　said；　〃What　do　they　ever　know？　What　could　Hemphill　have　done　when　he　didn't　really　know　the　boy；　didn't　love　him？〃　you　Henry　Ironheart　flinched　as　if　she　had　struck　him；　though　she　had　not　meant　her　ment　to　be　a　condemnation　of　him。　
　〃No；〃　she　said　quickly；　hoping　he　would　believe　her；　〃what　I　meant　was；　there's　no　mystery　why　I've　gotten　farther　than　Hemphill　ever　could。　
　is　of　It's　just　because　I　love　him。　It's　the　only　thing　that　ever　leads　to　healing。〃　
　ave　a　Stroking　Jim's　hair；　she　said；　〃You　couldn't　have　saved　them；　baby。　You　didn't　have　the　power　then；　not　like　you　have　it　now。　
　You　were　lucky　to　ward　get　out　alive。　Believe　me；　honey；　listen　and　believe　me。〃　
　last。　For　a　moment　they　sat　unspeaking；　all　of　them　in　pain。　
　Jim　Holly　noticed　more　blackbirds　had　gathered　in　the　sky。　Maybe　a　dozen　cess…　of　them　now。　She　didn't　know　how　Jim　was　drawing　them　there…or　why　…but　she　knew　that　he　was；　and　regarded　them　with　growing　dread。　
　She　put　a　hand　over　one　of　Jim's　hands；　encouraging　him　to　relax　it。　
　Though　he　slowly　stopped　crying；　he　kept　his　fist　as　tight　as　a　fist　of　sculpted　stone。　
　To　Henry；　she　said；　〃Now。　This　is　your　chance。　Explain　why　you　turned　away　from　him；　why　you　did。　。　。　whatever　you　did　to　him。〃　
　Clearing　his　throat；　wiping　nervously　at　his　mouth　with　his　weak　right　hand；　Henry　spoke　at　first　without　looking　at　either　of　them。　
　〃Well。　。　。　
　you　have　to　know。　。　。　how　it　was。　A　few　months　after　he　came　back　from　Atlanta；　there　was　this　film　pany　in　town；　shooting　a　movie…〃　〃The　Black　Windmill；〃　Holly　said。　
　〃Yeah。　He　was　reading　all　the　time。　。　。　。〃　Henry　stopped；　closed　his　；　he　eyes　as　if　to　gather　strength。　When　he　opened　them；　he　stared　at　Jim's　of。　He　bowed　head　and　seemed　prepared　to　meet　his　eyes　if　he　looked　up。　〃You　clench　was　reading　all　the　time；　going　through　the　library　shelf　by　shelf；　and　because　of　the　film　you　read　the　Willott　book。　For　a　while　it　became。　。　。　
　hell；　I　don't　know。　。　。　I　guess　maybe　you'd　have　to　say　it　was　an　obsession　with　you；　Jim。　It　was　the　only　thing　that　brought　you　out　of　your　shell；　talking　about　that　book；　so　we　encouraged　you　to　go　watch　them　shoot　the　picture。　Remember？　After　a　while；　you　started　telling　us　an　alien　was　in　our　pond　and　windmill；　just　like　in　the　book　and　movie。　
　At　first　we　thought　you　was　just　play…acting。〃　
　He　paused。　
　The　silence　lengthened。　
　About　twenty　birds　in　the　sky　above。　
　Circling。　Silent。　
　To　Henry；　Holly　said；　〃Then　it　began　to　worry　you。〃　
　Henry　wiped　one　shaky　hand　down　his　deeply　lined　face；　not　so　much　as　if　he　was　trying　to　scrub　away　his　weariness　but　as　if　he　was　trying　to　slough　off　the　years　and　bring　that　lost　time　closer。　〃You　spent　more　and　more　hours　in　the　mill；　Jim。　Sometimes　you'd　be　out　there　all　day。　
　And　evenings；　too。　Sometimes　we'd　get　up　in　the　middle　of　the　night　to　use　the　john；　and　we'd　see　a　light　out　there　in　the　mill；　two　or　three　or　four　o'clock　in　the　morning。　And　you　wouldn't　be　in　your　room。〃　
　Henry　paused　more　often。　He　wasn't　tired。　He　just　didn't　want　to　dig　into　this　part　of　the　long…buried　past。　
　〃If　it　was　the　middle　of　the　night；　we'd　go　out　there　to　the　mill　and　bring　you　in；　either　me　or　Lena。　And　you'd　be　telling　us　about　The　Friend　in　the　mill。　You　started　spooking　us；　we　didn't　know　what　to　do　。　。　。　so　I　guess。　。　。　we　didn't　do　anything。　Anyway；　that　night　。　。　。　
　the　night　she　died。　。　。　a　storm　was　ing　up…〃　Holly　recalled　the　dream：。　。　。　a　fresh　wind　blows　as　she　hurries　along　the　gravel　path　。　
　。　。　
　〃…and　Lena　didn't　wake　me。　She　went　out　there　by　herself　and　up　at　the　high　room〃。　。　。　she　climbs　the　limestone　stairs。　。　。　
　〃…pretty　good　thunderstorm；　but　I　used　to　be　able　to　sleep　through　anything…〃。　。　。　the　heavens　flash　as　she　passes　the　stairwell　window；　and　through　the　glass　she　sees　an　object　in　the　pond　below。　。　。　
　〃…I　guess；　Jim；　you　was　just　doing　what　we　always　found　you　doing　out　there　at　night；　reading　that　book　by　candlelight〃。　。　。　inhuman　sounds　from　above　quicken　her　heart；　and　she　climbs　to　the　high　room；　afraid；　but　also　curious　and　concerned　for　Jim。　。　。　
　〃…a　crash　of　thunder　finally　woke　me…〃。　。　。　she　reaches　the　top　of　the　stairs　and　sees　him　standing；　hands　fisted　）7　at　his　sides；　a　yellow　candle　in　a　blue　dish　on　the　floor；　a　book　beside　the　candle。　。。　
　〃…I　realized　Lena　was　gone；　looked　out　the　bedroom　window；　and　saw　that　dim　light　in　the　mill〃。　the　boy　turns　to　her　and　cries　out；　I'm　scared　help　me　the　walls；　the　walls！　。　。　。　
　〃…and　I　couldn't　believe　my　eyes　because　the　sails　of　the　mill　were　turning；　and　even　in　those　days　the　sails　hadn't　turned　in　ten　or　fifteen　years；　been　frozen　up…〃。　she　sees　an　amber　light　within　the　walls；　the　sour　shades　of　pus　and　bile；　the　limestone　bulges；　and　she　realizes　something　is　impossibly　alive　in　the　stone。　。　。　
　〃…but　they　were　spinning　like　airplane　propellers；　so　I　pulled　on　my　pants；　and　hurried　downstairs…〃。　。　。　with　fear　but　also　with　perverse　excitement；　the　boy　says；　It's　ing　and　nobody　can　stop　it！　。　。　。　
　〃…I　grabbed　a　flashlight　and　ran　out　into　the　rain…〃。　。　。　the　curve　of　mortared　blocks　splits　like　the　spongy　membrane　of　an　insect's　egg；　taking　shape　from　a　core　of　foul　muck；　where　limestone　should　have　been；　is　the　embodiment　of　the　boy's　black　rage　at　the　world　and　its　injustice；　his　self　hatred　made　flesh；　his　own　death…wish　given　a　vicious　and　brutal　form　so　solid　that　it　is　an　entity　itself；　quite　separate　from　him。　。　。　
　〃…I　reached　the　mill；　couldn't　believe　how　those　old　sails　were　spinning；　whoosh；　whoosh；　whoosh！〃　Holly's　dream　had　ended　there；　but　her　imagination　too　easily　supplied　a　version　of　what　might　have　happened　thereafter。　Horrified　at　the　materialization　of　The　Enemy；　stunned　that　the　boy's　wild　tales　of　aliens　in　the　mill　were　true；　Lena　had　stumbled　backward　and　fallen　down　the　winding　stone　stairs；　unable　to　arrest　her　fall　because　there　was　no　handrail　at　which　to　grab。　
　Somewhere　along　the　way　she　broke　her　neck。　
　〃…went　inside　the　mill。　。　。　found　her　at　the　bottom　of　the　stairs　all　busted　up；　neck　twisted。　。　。　dead。〃　
　Henry　paused　for　the　first　time　in　a　while　and　swallowed　hard。　He　had　not　looked　at　Holly　once　throughout　his　account　of　that　stormy　night；　only　at　Jim's　bowed　head。　With　less　of　a　slur　in　his　voice；　as　if　it　were　vitally　important　to　him　to　tell　the　rest　of　it　as　clearly　as　he　could；　he　said：　〃I　went　up　the　steps　and　found　you　in　the　high　room；　Jimmy。　Do　you　remember　that？　Sitting　by　the　candle；　holding　the　book　in　your　hands　so　tight　it　couldn't　be　taken　from　you　till　hours　later。　
　You　wouldn't　speak。〃　
　The　old　man's　voice　quavered　now。　〃God　forgive　me；　but　all　I　could　think　about　was　Lena　being　dead；　my　dear　Lena　gone；　and　you　being　such　a　strange　child　all　year；　and　still　strange　even　at　that　moment；　with　your　book；　refusing　to　talk　to　me。　I　guess。　。　。　I　guess　I　went　a　little　mad　right　then；　for　a　while。　I　thought　you　might've　pushed　her；　Jimmy。　I　thought　you　might've　been　in　one　of　your。　。　。　upsets。　。　。　and　maybe　you　pushed　her。〃　
　As　if　it　had　bee　too　much　for　him　to　address　himself　to　his　grandson　any　longer；　Henry　shifted　his　gaze　to　Holly。　〃That　year　after　Atlanta；　he'd　been　a　strange　boy。　。　。　almost　like　a　boy　we　didn't　know。　He　was　quiet；　like　I　said；　but　there　was　rage　in　him；　too；　a　fury　like　no　child　should　ever　have。　It　sometimes　scared　us。　The　only　time　he　ever　showed　it　was　in　his　sleep。　。　。　dreaming。　。　。　we'd　hear　him　screeching；　and　we'd　go　down　the　hall　to　his　room。　。　。　and　he'd　be　kicking　and　punching　at　the　mattress；　the　pillows；　clawing　at　the　sheets；　furious；　taking　it　all　out　on　something　in　his　dreams；　and　we'd　have　to　wake　him。〃　
　Henry　paused　and　looked　away　from　Holly；　down　at　his　bent　right　hand；　which　lay　half　useless　in　his　lap。　Jim's　fi