dk.coldfire-第75节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　〃Why？〃　〃I'm　not　sure。〃　Desperation；　bordering　on　panic；　made　his　eyes　so　disquieting　that　she　did　not　want　to　look　into　them。　
　〃When　you　were　little；　did　he　ever　harm　you？〃　〃I　don't　think　so。〃　He　strained　to　see　back　through　the　clouds　of　memory；　then　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　know。〃　
　Largely　because　she　was　afraid　to　leave　Jim　alone；　Holly　tried　to　convince　him　that　it　would　be　better　for　them　to　meet　the　old　man　together。　
　But　he　insisted　she　go　first。　〃Ask　him　most　of　what　we　need　to　know；　so　when　I　e　into　it；　we　won't　have　to　stay　much　longer　if　we　don't　want　to。　。　。　in　case　it　goes　bad；　gets　awkward；　unpleasant。　
　Prepare　him　for　seeing　me；　Holly。　Please。〃　
　Because　he　appeared　ready　to　bolt　if　she　did　not　play　things　his　way；　Holly　finally　agreed。　But　watching　Jim　walk　into　the　courtyard　to　wait　there；　she　already　regretted　letting　him　move　out　of　her　sight。　If　he　started　to　lose　control　again；　if　The　Enemy　began　to　break　through；　nobody　would　be　with　him　to　encourage　him　to　resist　the　onslaught。　
　A　friendly　nurse　helped　Holly　find　Henry　Ironheart　when　he　proved　not　to　be　in　his　room。　She　pointed　him　out　at　a　card　table　in　the　cheery　recreation　center；　at　the　other　end　of　which　a　half　dozen　residents　were　watching　a　game　show　on　television。　
　Henry　was　playing　poker　with　his　cronies。　Four　of　them　were　at　a　table　designed　to　acmodate　wheelchairs；　and　none　wore　the　standard　nursing…home　attire　of　pajamas　or　sweatsuits。　Besides　Henry；　there　were　two　fragile…looking　elderly　men…one　in　slacks　and　a　red　polo　shirt；　the　other　in　slacks；　white　shirt；　and　bow　tie…and　a　birdlike　woman　with　snow…white　hair；　who　was　in　a　bright…pink　pantsuit。　They　were　halfway　through　a　hotly　contested　hand；　with　a　substantial　pile　of　blue　plastic　chips　in　the　pot；　and　Holly　waited　to　one　side；　reluctant　to　interrupt　them。　Then　one　by　one；　exhibiting　a　flair　for　drama；　they　revealed　their　cards；　and　with　a　whoop　of　delight　the　woman…Thelma；　her　name　was…raked　in　her　winnings　；　theatrically　gloating　as　the　men　goodnaturedly　questioned　her　honesty。　
　Finally　intruding　into　their　banter；　Holly　introduced　herself　to　Henry　Ironheart；　though　without　identifying　herself　as　Jim's　fiancee。　
　〃I'd　like　to　have　a　few　minutes　to　talk　with　you　about　something　if　I　could。〃　
　〃Jesus；　Henry；〃　the　man　in　the　polo　shirt　said；　〃she's　less　than　half　your　age！〃　〃He　always　was　an　old　pervert；〃　said　the　guy　in　the　bow　tie。　
　〃Oh；　get　a　life；　Stewart；〃　Thelma　said；　speaking　to　Mr。　Bow　Tie。　
　〃Henry's　a　gentleman；　and　he's　never　been　anything　else。〃　
　〃Jesus；　Henry；　you're　gonna　be　married　for　sure　before　you　get　out　of　this　room　today！〃　〃Which　you　certainly　won't　be；　George；〃　Thelma　continued。　〃And　as　far　as　I'm　concerned〃…she　winked…〃if　it's　Henry；　marriage　doesn't　have　to　be　part　of　it。〃　
　They　all　roared　at　that；　and　Holly　said；　〃I　can　see　I'm　going　to　be　aced　out　of　this　one。〃　
　George　said；　〃Thelma　gets　what　she's　after　more　often　than　not。〃　
　Noticing　that　Stewart　had　gathered　the　cards　up　and　was　shuffling　the　deck；　Holly　said；　〃I　don't　mean　to　interrupt　your　game。〃　
　〃Oh；　don't　worry　yourself；〃　Henry　said。　His　words　were　slightly　slurred　as　a　result　of　his　stroke；　but　he　was　quite　intelligible。　
　〃We'll　just　take　a　bathroom　break。〃　
　〃At　our　age；〃　George　said；　〃if　we　didn't　coordinate　our　bathroom　breaks；　there'd　never　be　more　than　two　of　us　at　the　card　table　at　any　one　time！〃　The　others　wheeled　away；　and　Holly　pulled　up　a　chair　to　sit　near　Henry　Ironheart。　
　He　was　not　the　vital…looking；　square…faced　man　she　had　seen　in　the　photograph　on　the　living…room　wall　of　the　farmhouse　last　evening；　and　without　help　Holly　might　not　have　recognized　him。　His　stroke　had　left　his　right　side　weak；　though　not　paralyzed；　and　a　lot　of　the　time　he　held　that　arm　curled　against　his　chest；　the　way　an　injured　animal　might　favor　a　paw。　
　He　had　lost　a　lot　of　weight　and　was　no　longer　a　burly　man。　His　face　was　not　gaunt　but　nearly　so；　though　his　skin　had　good　color；　the　facial　muscles　on　the　right　side　were　unnaturally　relaxed；　allowing　his　features　to　droop　a　little。　
　His　appearance；　bined　with　the　slur　that　thickened　every　word　b　spoke；　might　have　sent　Holly　into　a　depression　over　the　inevitable　direction　of　every　human　life…if　not　for　his　eyes；　which　revealed　an　unbowed　soul。　And　his　conversation；　though　slowed　somewhat　by　his　impediment；　was　that　of　a　bright　and　humorous　man　who　would　not　give　the　fates　the　satisfaction　of　his　despair；　his　treacherous　body　was　to　be　cursed；　if　at　all；　in　private。　
　〃I'm　a　friend　of　Jim's；〃　she　told　him。　
　He　made　a　lopsided　〃O〃　of　his　mouth；　which　she　decided　was　an　expression　of　surprise。　At　first　he　did　not　seem　to　know　what　to　say；　but　then　he　asked；　〃How　is　Jim？〃　Deciding　to　opt　for　the　truth；　she　said；　〃Not　so　good；　Henry。　He's　a　very　troubled　man。〃　
　He　looked　away　from　her；　at　the　pile　of　poker　chips　on　the　table。　
　〃Yes；〃　he　said　softly。　
　Holly　had　half　expected　him　to　be　a　child…abusing　monster　who　had　been　at　least　in　part　responsible　for　Jim's　withdrawal　from　reality。　He　seemed　anything　but　that。　
　〃Henry；　I　wanted　to　meet　you；　talk　to　you；　because　Jim　and　I　are　more　than　friends。　I　love　him；　and　he's　said　that　he　loves　me；　and　it's　my　hope　that　we're　going　to　be　together　a　long；　long　time。〃　
　To　her　surprise；　tears　brimmed　up　and　slipped　from　Henry's　eyes；　forming　bright　beads　in　the　soft　folds　of　his　aged　face。　
　She　said；　〃I'm　sorry；　have　I　upset　you？〃　〃No；　no；　good　lord；　no；〃　he　said；　wiping　at　his　eyes　with　his　left　hand。　
　〃Excuse　me　for　being　an　old　fool。〃　
　〃I　can　tell　you're　anything　but　that。〃　
　〃It's　just；　I　never　thought。　。　。　Well；　I　figured　Jim　was　going　to　spend　his　life　alone。〃　
　〃Why　did　you　think　that？〃　〃Well。　。　。〃　
　He　seemed　distressed　at　having　to　say　anything　negative　about　his　grandson；　pletely　dispelling　her　lingering　expectations　that　he　would　be　a　tyrant　of　some　kind。　
　Holly　helped　him。　〃He　does　have　a　way　of　keeping　people　at　arm's　length。　Is　that　what　you　mean？〃　Nodding；　he　said；　〃Even　me。　I've　loved　him　with　all　my　heart；　all　these　years；　and　I　know　he　loves　me　in　his　way；　though　he's　always　had　real　trouble　showing　it；　and　he　could　never　say　it。〃　As　Holly　was　about　to　ask　him　a　question；　he　suddenly　shook　his　head　violently　and　wrenched　his　distorted　face　into　an　expression　of　anguish　so　severe　that　for　an　instant　she　thought　he　was　having　another　stroke。　〃It's　not　all　him。　
　God　knows　it's　not。〃　The　slur　in　his　voice　thickened　when　he　grew　more　emotional。　
　〃I've　got　to　face　it…part　of　the　distance　between　us　is　me；　my　fault；　the　blame　I　put　on　him　that　I　never　should've。〃　
　〃Blame？〃　〃For　Lena。〃　
　A　shadow　of　fear　passed　across　her　heart　and　induced　a　quiver　of　angina…like　pain。　
　She　glanced　at　the　window　that　looked　out　on　a　corner　of　the　courtyard。　
　It　was　not　the　corner　to　which　Jim　had　gone。　She　wondered　where　he　was；　how　he　was。　。　。　who　he　was。　
　〃For　Lena？　I　don't　understand；〃　she　said；　though　she　was　afraid　that　she　did。　
　〃It　seems　unforgivable　to　me　now；　what　I　did；　what　I　allowed　myself　to　think。〃　He　paused；　looking　not　at　her　but　through　her　now；　toward　a　distant　time　and　place。　〃But　he　was　just　so　strange　in　those　days；　not　the　child　he　had　been。　Before　you　can　even　hope　to　understand　what　I　did；　you　have　to　know　that；　after　Atlanta；　he　was　so　very　strange；　all　locked　up　inside。〃　
　Immediately　Holly　thought　of　Sam　and　Emily　Newsome；　whose　lives　Jim　had　saved　in　an　Atlanta　convenience　store…and　Norman　Rink；　into　whom　he　had　pumped　eight　rounds　from　a　shotgun　in　a　blind　rage。　But　Henry　obviously　was　not　talking　about　a　recent　event　in　Atlanta；　he　was　referring　to　some　previous　incident；　much　further　in　the　past。　
　〃You　don't　know　about　Atlanta？〃　he　asked；　reacting　to　her　evident　mystification。　
　A　queer　sound　chittered　through　the　room；　alarming　Holly。　For　an　instant　she　could　not　identify　the　noise；　then　realized　it　was　several　birds　shrieking　the　way　they　did　when　protecting　their　nests。　No　birds　were　in　the　room；　and　she　supposed　their　cries　were　echoing　down　the　fireplace　chimney　from　the　roof　Just　birds。　Their　chatter　faded。　
　She　turned　to　Henry　Ironheart　again。　〃Atlanta？　No；　I　guess　I　don't　know　about　that。〃　
　〃I　didn't　think　you　did。　I'd　be　surprised　if　he　talked　about　it；　even　to　you；　even　if　he　loves　you。　He　just　doesn't　talk　about　it。〃　
　〃What　happened　in　Atlanta？〃　〃It　was　a　place　called　the　Dixie　Duck…〃　〃Oh；　my　God；〃　she　whispered。　She　had　been　there　in　the　dream。　
　〃Then　you　do　know　some　of　it；〃　he　said。　His　eyes　were　pools　of　sorrow。　
　She　felt　her　face　crumple　in　grief；　not　for　Jim's　parents；　whom　she　had　never　known；　and　not　even　for　Henry；　who　presumably　had　loved　them；　but　for　Jim。　〃Oh；　my　God。〃　And　then　she　couldn't　say　any　more　because　her　words　backed　up　behind　her　own　tears。　
　Henry　reached　out　to　her　with　one　liver…spotted　hand；　and　she　took　it；　held　it；　waiting　until　she　could　speak　again。　
　At　the　other　end　of　the　room；　bells　were　ringing；　horns　blaring；　on　the　TV　game　show。　
　No　traffic　accident　had　killed　Jim's　parents。　
　That　story　was　his　way　of　avoiding　a　recounting　of　the　terrible　truth。　
　She　had　known。　She　had　known；　and　refused　to　know。　
　Her　latest　dream　ha