sk.thetalisman-第16节

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　　Her　cheeks　reddened；　her　mouth　thinned　into　a　line。　'That's　so　unfair　it's　despicable；　Jacky。　You　can't　use　what　Philip　might　have　known　as　a　weapon　against　me。'
　　'What　he　did　know；　not　what　he　might　have　known。'
　　'You're　talking　total　horseshit；　sonny　boy。'　
　　The　waitress；　setting　a　plate　of　scrambled　eggs；　home　fries；　and　sausages　before　Jack；　audibly　inhaled。
　　After　the　waitress　had　paraded　off；　his　mother　shrugged。　'I　don't　seem　able　to　find　the　right　tone　with　the　help　around　here。　But　horseshit　is　still　horseshit　is　still　horseshit；　to　quote　Gertrude　Stein。'
　　'I'm　going　to　save　your　life；　Mom；'　he　repeated。　'And　I　have　to　go　a　long　way　away　and　bring　something　back　to　do　it。　And　so　that's　what　I'm　going　to　do。'
　　'I　wish　I　knew　what　you　were　talking　about。'　
　　Just　an　ordinary　conversation；　Jack　told　himself：　as　ordinary　as　asking　permission　to　spend　a　couple　of　nights　at　a　friend's　house。　He　cut　a　sausage　in　half　and　popped　one　of　the　pieces　in　his　mouth。　She　was　watching　him　carefully。　Sausage　chewed　and　swallowed；　Jack　inserted　a　forkful　of　egg　into　his　mouth。　Speedy's　bottle　lumped　like　a　rock　against　his　backside。
　　'I　also　wish　you'd　act　as　though　you　could　hear　the　little　remarks　I　send　your　way；　as　obtuse　as　they　may　be。'　Jack　stolidly　swallowed　the　eggs　and　inserted　a　salty　wad　of　the　crisp　potatoes　into　his　mouth。
　　Lily　put　her　hands　in　her　lap。　The　longer　he　said　nothing；　the　more　she　would　listen　when　he　did　talk。　He　pretended　to　concentrate　on　his　breakfast；　eggs　sausage　potatoes；　sausage　potatoes　eggs；　potatoes　eggs　sausage；　until　he　sensed　that　she　was　near　to　shouting　at　him。
　　My　father　called　me　Travelling　Jack；　he　thought　to　himself。　This　is　right；　this　is　as　right　as　I'll　ever　get。
　　'Jack…'
　　'Mom；'　he　said；　'sometimes　didn't　Dad　call　you　up　from　a　long　way　away；　and　you　knew　he　was　supposed　to　be　in　town？'　
　　She　raised　her　eyebrows。
　　'And　sometimes　didn't　you；　ah；　walk　into　a　room　because　you　thought　he　was　there；　maybe　even　knew　he　was　there…but　he　wasn't？'　
　　Let　her　chew　on　that。
　　'No；'　she　said。
　　Both　of　them　let　the　denial　fade　away。　
　　'Almost　never。'
　　'Mom；　it　even　happened　to　me；'　Jack　said。
　　'There　was　always　an　explanation；　you　know　there　was。'
　　'My　father…this　is　what　you　know…was　never　too　bad　at　explaining　things。　Especially　the　stuff　that　really　couldn't　be　explained。　He　was　very　good　at　that。　That's　part　of　the　reason　he　was　such　a　good　agent。'　
　　Now　she　was　silent　again。
　　'Well；　I　know　where　he　went；'　Jack　said。　'I've　been　there　already。　I　was　there　this　morning。　And　if　I　go　there　again；　I　can　try　to　save　your　life。'
　　'My　life　doesn't　need　you　to　save　it；　it　doesn't　need　anyone　to　save　it；'　his　mother　hissed。　Jack　looked　down　at　his　devastated　plate　and　muttered　something。　'What　was　that？'　she　drilled　at　him。
　　'I　think　it　does；　I　said。'　He　met　her　eyes　with　his　own。　
　　'Suppose　I　ask　how　you　propose　to　go　about　saving　my　life；　as　you　put　it。'
　　'I　can't　answer。　Because　I　don't　really　understand　it　yet。　Mom；　I'm　not　in　school；　anyhow　。　。　。　give　me　a　chance。　I　might　only　be　gone　a　week　or　so。'　
　　She　raised　her　eyebrows。
　　'It　could　be　longer；'　he　admitted。
　　'I　think　you're　nuts；'　she　said。　But　he　saw　that　part　of　her　wanted　to　believe　him；　and　her　next　words　proved　it。　'If…if…I　were　mad　enough　to　allow　you　to　go　off　on　this　mysterious　errand；　I'd　have　to　be　sure　that　you　wouldn't　be　in　any　danger。'
　　'Dad　always　came　back；'　Jack　pointed　out。
　　'I'd　rather　risk　my　life　than　yours；'　she　said；　and　this　truth；　too；　lay　hugely　between　them　for　a　long　moment。
　　'I'll　call　when　I　can。　But　don't　get　too　worried　if　a　couple　of　weeks　go　by　without　my　calling。　I'll　e　back；　too；　just　like　Dad　always　did。'
　　'This　whole　thing　is　nuts；'　she　said。　'Me　included。　How　are　you　going　to　get　to　this　place　you　have　to　go　to？　And　where　is　it？　Do　you　have　enough　money？'
　　'I　have　everything　I　need；'　he　said；　hoping　that　she　would　not　press　him　on　the　first　two　questions。　The　silence　stretched　out　and　out；　and　finally　he　said；　'I　guess　I'll　mainly　walk。　I　can't　talk　about　it　much；　Mom。'
　　'Travelling　Jack；'　she　said。　'I　can　almost　believe　。　。　。　'
　　'Yes；'　Jack　said。　'Yes。'　He　was　nodding。　And　maybe；　he　thought；　you　know　some　of　what　she　knows；　the　real　Queen；　and　that's　why　you　are　letting　go　this　easily。　'That's　right。　I　can　believe；　too。　That's　what　makes　it　right。'
　　'Well　。　。　。　since　you　say　you'll　go　no　matter　what　I　say　。　。　。　'
　　'I　will；　too。'
　　'　。　。　。　then　I　guess　it　doesn't　matter　what　I　say。'　She　looked　at　him　bravely。　'It　does　matter；　though。　I　know。　I　want　you　to　get　back　here　as　quick　as　you　can；　sonny　boy。　You're　not　going　right　away；　are　you？'
　　'I　have　to。'　He　inhaled　deeply。　'Yes。　I　am　going　right　away。　As　soon　as　I　leave　you。'
　　'I　could　almost　believe　in　this　rigamarole。　You're　Phil　Sawyer's　son；　all　right。　You　haven't　found　a　girl　somewhere　in　this　place；　have　you　。　。　。　？'　She　looked　at　him　very　sharply。　'No。　No　girl。　Okay。　Save　my　life。　Off　with　you。'　She　shook　her　head；　and　he　thought　he　saw　an　extra　brightness　in　her　eyes。　'If　you're　going　to　leave；　get　out　of　here；　Jacky。　Call　me　tomorrow。'
　　'If　I　can。'　He　stood　up。
　　'If　you　can。　Of　course。　Forgive　me。'　She　looked　down　at　nothing；　and　he　saw　that　her　eyes　were　unfocused。　Red　dots　burned　in　the　middle　of　her　cheeks。
　　Jack　leaned　over　and　kissed　her；　but　she　just　waved　him　away。　The　waitress　stared　at　the　two　of　them　as　if　they　were　performing　a　play。　Despite　what　his　mother　had　just　said；　Jack　thought　that　he　had　brought　the　level　of　her　disbelief　down　to　something　like　fifty　percent；　which　meant　that　she　no　longer　knew　what　to　believe。
　　She　focused　on　him　for　a　moment；　and　he　saw　that　hectic　brightness　blazing　in　her　eyes　again。　Anger；　tears？　'Take　care；'　she　said；　and　signalled　the　waitress。
　　'I　love　you；'　Jack　said。
　　'Never　get　off　on　a　line　like　that。'　Now　she　was　almost　smiling。　'Get　travelling；　Jack。　Get　going　before　I　realize　how　crazy　this　is。'
　　'I'm　gone；'　he　said；　and　turned　away　and　marched　out　of　the　restaurant。　His　head　felt　tight；　as　if　the　bones　in　his　skull　had　just　grown　too　large　for　their　covering　of　flesh。　The　empty　yellow　sunlight　attacked　his　eyes。　Jack　heard　the　door　of　the　Arcadia　Tea　and　Jam　Shoppe　banging　shut　an　instant　after　the　little　bell　had　sounded。　He　blinked；　ran　across　Boardwalk　Avenue　without　looking　for　cars。　When　he　reached　the　pavement　on　the　other　side；　he　realized　that　he　would　have　to　go　back　to　their　suite　for　some　clothes。　His　mother　had　still　not　emerged　from　the　tea　shop　by　the　time　Jack　was　pulling　open　the　hotel's　great　front　door。
　　The　desk　clerk　stepped　backward　and　sullenly　stared。　Jack　felt　some　sort　of　emotion　steaming　off　the　man；　but　for　a　second　could　not　remember　why　the　clerk　should　react　so　strongly　to　the　sight　of　him。　The　conversation　with　his　mother…actually　much　shorter　than　he　had　imagined　it　would　be…seemed　to　have　lasted　for　days。　On　the　other　side　of　the　vast　gulf　of　time　he'd　spent　in　the　Tea　and　Jam　Shoppe；　he　had　called　the　clerk　a　creep。　Should　he　apologize？　He　no　longer　actually　remembered　what　had　caused　him　to　flare　up　at　the　clerk　。　。　。
　　His　mother　had　agreed　to　his　going…she　had　given　him　permission　to　take　his　journey；　and　as　he　walked　through　the　crossfire　of　the　deskman's　glare　he　finally　understood　why。　He　had　not　mentioned　the　Talisman；　not　explicitly；　but　even　if　he　had…if　he　had　spoken　of　the　most　lunatic　aspect　of　his　mission…she　would　have　accepted　that　too。　And　if　he'd　said　that　he　was　going　to　bring　back　a　foot…long　butterfly　and　roast　it　in　the　oven；　she'd　have　agreed　to　eat　roast　butterfly。　It　would　have　been　an　ironic；　but　a　real；　agreement。　In　part　this　showed　the　depth　of　her　fear；　that　she　would　grasp　at　such　straws。
　　But　she　would　grasp　because　at　some　level　she　knew　that　these　were　bricks；　not　straws。　His　mother　had　given　him　permission　to　go　because　somewhere　inside　her　she；　too；　knew　about　the　Territories。
　　Did　she　ever　wake　up　in　the　night　with　that　name；　Laura　DeLoessian；　sounding　in　her　mind？
　　Up　in　407　and　408；　he　tossed　clothes　into　his　knapsack　almost　randomly：　if　his　fingers　found　it　in　a　drawer　and　it　was　not　too　large；　in　it　went。　Shirts；　socks；　a　sweater；　Jockey　shorts。　Jack　tightly　rolled　up　a　pair　of　tan　jeans　and　forced　them　in；　too；　then　he　realized　that　the　pack　had　bee　unfortably　heavy；　and　pulled　out　most　of　the　shirts　and　socks。　The　sweater；　too；　came　out。　At　the　last　minute　he　remembered　his　toothbrush。　Then　he　slid　the　straps　over　his　shoulders　and　felt　the　pull　of　the　weight　on　his　back…not　too　heavy。　He　could　walk　all　day；　carrying　only　these　few　pounds。
　　Jack　simply　stood　quiet　in　the　suite's　living　room　a　moment；　feeling…unexpectedly　powerfully…the　absence　of　any　person　or　thing　to　whom　he　could　say　goodbye。　His　mother　would　not　return　to　the　suite　until　she　could　be　sure　he　was　gone：　if　she　saw　him　now；　she'd　order　him　to　stay。　He　could　not　say　goodbye　to　these　three　rooms　as　he　could　to　a　house　he　had　loved：　hotel　rooms　accepted　departures　emotionlessly。　In　the　end　he　went　to　the　telephone　pad　printed　with　a　drawing　of　the　hotel