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第148节

little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第148节

小说: little dorrit-信丽(英文版) 字数: 每页4000字

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himself。 He said it was the very thing for Sparkler。 There was nothing
to do; and he would do it charmingly; there was a handsome salary to
draw; and he would draw it charmingly; it was a delightful; appropriate;
capital appointment; and he almost forgave the donor his slight of
himself; in his joy that the dear donkey for whom he had so great an
affection was so admirably stabled。 Nor did his benevolence stop here。
He took pains; on all social occasions; to draw Mr Sparkler out; and
make him conspicuous before the pany; and; although the considerate
action always resulted in that young gentleman's making a dreary and
forlorn mental spectacle of himself; the friendly intention was not to
be doubted。

Unless; indeed; it chanced to be doubted by the object of Mr Sparkler's
affections。 Miss Fanny was now in the difficult situation of being
universally known in that light; and of not having dismissed Mr
Sparkler; however capriciously she used him。 Hence; she was sufficiently
identified with the gentleman to feel promised by his being more than
usually ridiculous; and hence; being by no means deficient in quickness;
she sometimes came to his rescue against Gowan; and did him very good
service。 But; while doing this; she was ashamed of him; undetermined
whether to get rid of him or more decidedly encourage him; distracted
with apprehensions that she was every day being more and more
immeshed in her uncertainties; and tortured by misgivings that Mrs
Merdle triumphed in her distress。 With this tumult in her mind; it is no
subject for surprise that Miss Fanny came home one night in a state
of agitation from a concert and ball at Mrs Merdle's house; and on her
sister affectionately trying to soothe her; pushed that sister away from
the toilette…table at which she sat angrily trying to cry; and declared
with a heaving bosom that she detested everybody; and she wished she was
dead。

'Dear Fanny; what is the matter? Tell me。'

'Matter; you little Mole;' said Fanny。 'If you were not the blindest of
the blind; you would have no occasion to ask me。 The idea of daring to
pretend to assert that you have eyes in your head; and yet ask me what's
the matter!'

'Is it Mr Sparkler; dear?' 'Mis…ter Spark…ler!' repeated Fanny; with
unbounded scorn; as if he were the last subject in the Solar system that
could possibly be near her mind。 'No; Miss Bat; it is not。'

Immediately afterwards; she became remorseful for having called her
sister names; declaring with sobs that she knew she made herself
hateful; but that everybody drove her to it。


'I don't think you are well to…night; dear Fanny。'


'Stuff and nonsense!' replied the young lady; turning angry again; 'I am
as well as you are。 Perhaps I might say better; and yet make no boast of
it。'

Poor Little Dorrit; not seeing her way to the offering of any soothing
words that would escape repudiation; deemed it best to remain quiet。 At
first; Fanny took this ill; too; protesting to her looking…glass; that
of all the trying sisters a girl could have; she did think the most
trying sister was a flat sister。 That she knew she was at times a
wretched temper; that she knew she made herself hateful; that when she
made herself hateful; nothing would do her half the good as being told
so; but that; being afflicted with a flat sister; she never WAS told so;
and the consequence resulted that she was absolutely tempted and
goaded into making herself disagreeable。 Besides (she angrily told
her looking…glass); she didn't want to be forgiven。 It was not a right
example; that she should be constantly stooping to be forgiven by a
younger sister。 And this was the Art of it……that she was always being
placed in the position of being forgiven; whether she liked it or not。
Finally she burst into violent weeping; and; when her sister came and
sat close at her side to fort her; said; 'Amy; you're an Angel!'

'But; I tell you what; my Pet;' said Fanny; when her sister's gentleness
had calmed her; 'it now es to this; that things cannot and shall not
go on as they are at present going on; and that there must be an end of
this; one way or another。'

As the announcement was vague; though very peremptory; Little Dorrit
returned; 'Let us talk about it。'

'Quite so; my dear;' assented Fanny; as she dried her eyes。 'Let us talk
about it。 I am rational again now; and you shall advise me。 Will you
advise me; my sweet child?'

Even Amy smiled at this notion; but she said; 'I will; Fanny; as well as
I can。'

'Thank you; dearest Amy;' returned Fanny; kissing her。 'You are my
anchor。'

Having embraced her Anchor with great affection; Fanny took a bottle of
sweet toilette water from the table; and called to her maid for a fine
handkerchief。 She then dismissed that attendant for the night; and went
on to be advised; dabbing her eyes and forehead from time to time to
cool them。

'My love;' Fanny began; 'our characters and points of view are
sufficiently different (kiss me again; my darling); to make it very
probable that I shall surprise you by what I am going to say。 What I am
going to say; my dear; is; that notwithstanding our property; we labour;
socially speaking; under disadvantages。 You don't quite understand what
I mean; Amy?'

'I have no doubt I shall;' said Amy; mildly; 'after a few words more。'

'Well; my dear; what I mean is; that we are; after all; newers into
fashionable life。'

'I am sure; Fanny;' Little Dorrit interposed in her zealous admiration;
'no one need find that out in you。'

'Well; my dear child; perhaps not;' said Fanny; 'though it's most kind
and most affectionate in you; you precious girl; to say so。' Here she
dabbed her sister's forehead; and blew upon it a little。 'But you are;'
resumed Fanny; 'as is well known; the dearest little thing that ever
was! To resume; my child。 Pa is extremely gentlemanly and extremely well
informed; but he is; in some trifling respects; a little different from
other gentlemen of his fortune: partly on account of what he has gone
through; poor dear: partly; I fancy; on account of its often running in
his mind that other people are thinking about that; while he is talking
to them。 Uncle; my love; is altogether unpresentable。 Though a dear
creature to whom I am tenderly attached; he is; socially speaking;
shocking。 Edward is frightfully expensive and dissipated。 I don't mean
that there is anything ungenteel in that itself……far from it……but I
do mean that he doesn't do it well; and that he doesn't; if I may
so express myself; get the money's…worth in the sort of dissipated
reputation that attaches to him。'

'Poor Edward!' sighed Little Dorrit; with the whole family history in
the sigh。

'Yes。 And poor you and me; too;' returned Fanny; rather sharply。

'Very true! Then; my dear; we have no mother; and we have a Mrs General。
And I tell you again; darling; that Mrs General; if I may reverse a
mon proverb and adapt it to her; is a cat in gloves who WILL
catch mice。 That woman; I am quite sure and confident; will be our
mother…in…law。'

'I can hardly think; Fanny…' Fanny stopped her。

'Now; don't argue with me about it; Amy;' said she; 'because I know
better。' Feeling that she had been sharp again; she dabbed her sister's
forehead again; and blew upon it again。 'To resume once more; my dear。
It then bees a question with me (I am proud and spirited; Amy; as you
very well know: too much so; I dare say) whether I shall make up my mind
to take it upon myself to carry the family through。' 'How?' asked her
sister; anxiously。

'I will not;' said Fanny; without ansit to
be mother…in…lawed by Mrs General; and I will not submit to be; in any
respect whatever; either patronised or tormented by Mrs Merdle。'

Little Dorrit laid her hand upon the hand that held the bottle of sweet
water; with a still more anxious look。 Fanny; quite punishing her own
forehead with the vehement dabs she now began to give it; fitfully went
on。

'That he has somehow or other; and how is of no consequence; attained a
very good position; no one can deny。 That it is a very good connection;
no one can deny。 And as to the question of clever or not clever; I doubt
very much whether a clever husband would be suitable to me。 I cannot
submit。 I should not be able to defer to him enough。'

'O; my dear Fanny!' expostulated Little Dorrit; upon whom a kind of
terror had been stealing as she perceived what her sister meant。 'If you
loved any one; all this feeling would change。 If you loved any one; you
would no more be yourself; but you would quite lose and forget yourself
in your devotion to him。 If you loved him; Fanny……' Fanny had stopped
the dabbing hand; and was looking at her fixedly。

'O; indeed!' cried Fanny。 'Really? Bless me; how much some people know
of some subjects! They say every one has a subject; and I certainly
seem to have hit upon yours; Amy。 There; you little thing; I was only in
fun;' dabbing her sister's forehead; 'but don't you be a silly puss;
and don't you think flightily and eloquently about degenerate
impossibilities。 There! Now; I'll go back to myself。'

'Dear Fanny; let me say first; that I would far rather we worked for
a scanty living again than I would 

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