the lily of the valley-第44节

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satiety　by　never　varying　them；　whose　soul　has　one　note　only；　their

voice　one　syllablean　ocean　of　love　in　themselves；　it　is　true；　and　he

who　has　never　swum　there　misses　part　of　the　poetry　of　the　senses；　as

he　who　has　never　seen　the　sea　has　lost　some　strings　of　his　lyre。　You

know　the　why　and　wherefore　of　these　words。　My　relations　with　the

Marchioness　of　Dudley　had　a　disastrous　celebrity。　At　an　age　when　the

senses　have　dominion　over　our　conduct；　and　when　in　my　case　they　had

been　violently　repressed　by　circumstances；　the　image　of　the　saint

bearing　her　slow　martyrdom　at　Clochegourde　shone　so　vividly　before　my

mind　that　I　was　able　to　resist　all　seductions。　It　was　the　lustre　of

this　fidelity　which　attracted　Lady　Dudley's　attention。　My　resistance

stimulated　her　passion。　What　she　chiefly　desired；　like　many

Englishwoman；　was　the　spice　of　singularity；　she　wanted　pepper；

capsicum；　with　her　heart's　food；　just　as　Englishmen　need　condiments　to

excite　their　appetite。　The　dull　languor　forced　into　the　lives　of　these

women　by　the　constant　perfection　of　everything　about　them；　the

methodical　regularity　of　their　habits；　leads　them　to　adore　the

romantic　and　to　welcome　difficulty。　I　was　wholly　unable　to　judge　of

such　a　character。　The　more　I　retreated　to　a　cold　distance　the　more

impassioned　Lady　Dudley　became。　The　struggle；　in　which　she　gloried；

excited　the　curiosity　of　several　persons；　and　this　in　itself　was　a

form　of　happiness　which　to　her　mind　made　ultimate　triumph　obligatory。

Ah！　I　might　have　been　saved　if　some　good　friend　had　then　repeated　to

me　her　cruel　comment　on　my　relations　with　Madame　de　Mortsauf。



〃I　am　wearied　to　death；〃　she　said；　〃of　these　turtle…dove　sighings。〃



Without　seeking　to　justify　my　crime；　I　ask　you　to　observe；　Natalie；

that　a　man　has　fewer　means　of　resisting　a　woman　than　she　has　of

escaping　him。　Our　code　of　manners　forbids　the　brutality　of　repressing

a　woman；　whereas　repression　with　your　sex　is　not　only　allurement　to

ours；　but　is　imposed　upon　you　by　conventions。　With　us；　on　the

contrary；　some　unwritten　law　of　masculine　self…conceit　ridicules　a

man's　modesty；　we　leave　you　the　monopoly　of　that　virtue；　that　you　may

have　the　privilege　of　granting　us　favors；　but　reverse　the　case；　and

man　succumbs　before　sarcasm。



Though　protected　by　my　love；　I　was　not　of　an　age　to　be　wholly

insensible　to　the　triple　seductions　of　pride；　devotion；　and　beauty。

When　Arabella　laid　at　my　feet　the　homage　of　a　ball…room　where　she

reigned　a　queen；　when　she　watched　by　glance　to　know　if　my　taste

approved　of　her　dress；　and　when　she　trembled　with　pleasure　on　seeing

that　she　pleased　me；　I　was　affected　by　her　emotion。　Besides；　she

occupied　a　social　position　where　I　could　not　escape　her；　I　could　not

refuse　invitations　in　the　diplomatic　circle；　her　rank　admitted　her

everywhere；　and　with　the　cleverness　all　women　display　to　obtain　what

pleases　them；　she　often　contrived　that　the　mistress　of　the　house

should　place　me　beside　her　at　dinner。　On　such　occasions　she　spoke　in

low　tones　to　my　ear。　〃If　I　were　loved　like　Madame　de　Mortsauf；〃　she

said　once；　〃I　should　sacrifice　all。〃　She　did　submit　herself　with　a

laugh　in　many　humble　ways；　she　promised　me　a　discretion　equal　to　any

test；　and　even　asked　that　I　would　merely　suffer　her　to　love　me。　〃Your

friend　always；　your　mistress　when　you　will；〃　she　said。　At　last；　after

an　evening　when　she　had　made　herself　so　beautiful　that　she　was　certain

to　have　excited　my　desires；　she　came　to　me。　The　scandal　resounded

through　England；　where　the　aristocracy　was　horrified　like　heaven

itself　at　the　fall　of　its　highest　angel。　Lady　Dudley　abandoned　her

place　in　the　British　empyrean；　gave　up　her　wealth；　and　endeavored　to

eclipse　by　her　sacrifices　HER　whose　virtue　had　been　the　cause　of　this

great　disaster。　She　took　delight；　like　the　devil　on　the　pinnacle　of

the　temple；　in　showing　me　all　the　riches　of　her　passionate　kingdom。



Read　me；　I　pray　you；　with　indulgence。　The　matter　concerns　one　of　the

most　interesting　problems　of　human　life；a　crisis　to　which　most　men

are　subjected；　and　which　I　desire　to　explain；　if　only　to　place　a

warning　light　upon　the　reef。　This　beautiful　woman；　so　slender；　so

fragile；　this　milk…white　creature；　so　yielding；　so　submissive；　so

gentle；　her　brow　so　endearing；　the　hair　that　crowns　it　so　fair　and

fine；　this　tender　woman；　whose　brilliancy　is　phosphorescent　and

fugitive；　has；　in　truth；　an　iron　nature。　No　horse；　no　matter　how　fiery

he　may　be；　can　conquer　her　vigorous　wrist；　or　strive　against　that　hand

so　soft　in　appearance；　but　never　tired。　She　has　the　foot　of　a　doe；　a

thin；　muscular　little　foot；　indescribably　graceful　in　outline。　She　is

so　strong　that　she　fears　no　struggle；　men　cannot　follow　her　on

horseback；　she　would　win　a　steeple…chase　against　a　centaur；　she　can

bring　down　a　stag　without　stopping　her　horse。　Her　body　never

perspires；　it　inhales　the　fire　of　the　atmosphere；　and　lives　in　water

under　pain　of　not　living　at　all。　Her　love　is　African；　her　desires　are

like　the　whirlwinds　of　the　desertthe　desert；　whose　torrid　expanse　is

in　her　eyes；　the　azure；　love…laden　desert；　with　its　changeless　skies；

its　cool　and　starry　nights。　What　a　contrast　to　Clochegourde！　the　east

and　the　west！　the　one　drawing　into　her　every　drop　of　moisture　for　her

own　nourishment；　the　other　exuding　her　soul；　wrapping　her　dear　ones　in

her　luminous　atmosphere；　the　one　quick　and　slender；　the　other　slow　and

massive。



Have　you　ever　reflected　on　the　actual　meaning　of　the　manners　and

customs　and　morals　of　England？　Is　it　not　the　deification　of　matter？　a

well…defined；　carefully　considered　Epicureanism；　judiciously　applied？

No　matter　what　may　be　said　against　the　statement；　England　is

materialist；possibly　she　does　not　know　it　herself。　She　lays　claim　to

religion　and　morality；　from　which；　however；　divine　spirituality；　the

catholic　soul；　is　absent；　and　its　fructifying　grace　cannot　be　replaced

by　any　counterfeit；　however　well　presented　it　may　be。　England

possesses　in　the　highest　degree　that　science　of　existence　which　turns

to　account　every　particle　of　materiality；　the　science　that　makes　her

women's　slippers　the　most　exquisite　slippers　in　the　world；　gives　to

their　linen　ineffable　fragrance；　lines　their　drawers　with　cedar；

serves　tea　carefully　drawn；　at　a　certain　hour；　banishes　dust；　nails

the　carpets　to　the　floors　in　every　corner　of　the　house；　brushes　the

cellar　walls；　polishes　the　knocker　of　the　front　door；　oils　the　springs

of　the　carriage；in　short；　makes　matter　a　nutritive　and　downy　pulp；

clean　and　shining；　in　the　midst　of　which　the　soul　expires　of　enjoyment

and　the　frightful　monotony　of　comfort　in　a　life　without　contrasts；

deprived　of　spontaneity；　and　which；　to　sum　all　in　one　word；　makes　a

machine　of　you。



Thus　I　suddenly　came　to　know；　in　the　bosom　of　this　British　luxury；　a

woman　who　is　perhaps　unique　among　her　sex；　who　caught　me　in　the　nets

of　a　love　excited　by　my　indifference；　and　to　the　warmth　of　which　I

opposed　a　stern　continence；one　of　those　loves　possessed　of

overwhelming　charm；　an　electricity　of　their　own；　which　lead　us　to　the

skies　through　the　ivory　gates　of　slumber；　or　bear　us　thither　on　their

powerful　pinions。　A　love　monstrously　ungrateful；　which　laughs　at　the

bodies　of　those　it　kills；　love　without　memory；　a　cruel　love；

resembling　the　policy　of　the　English　nation；　a　love　to　which；　alas；

most　men　yield。　You　understand　the　problem？　Man　is　composed　of　matter

and　spirit；　animality　comes　to　its　end　in　him；　and　the　angel　begins　in

him。　There　lies　the　struggle　we　all　pass　through；　between　the　future

destiny　of　which　we　are　conscious　and　the　influence　of　anterior

instincts　from　which　we　are　not　wholly　detached；carnal　love　and

divine　love。　One　man　combines　them；　another　abstains　altogether；　some

there　are　who　seek　the　satisfaction　of　their　anterior　appetites　from

the　whole　sex；　others　idealize　their　love　in　one　woman　who　is　to　them

the　universe；　some　float　irresolutely　between　the　delights　of　matter

and　the　joys　of　soul；　others　spiritualize　the　body；　requiring　of　it

that　which　it　cannot　give。



If；　thinking　over　these　leading　characteristics　of　love；　you　take　into

account　the　dislikes　and　the　affinities　which　result　from　the

diversity　of　organisms；　and　which　sooner　or　later　break　all　ties

between　those　who　have　not　fully　tried　each　other；　if　you　add　to　this

the　mistakes　arising　from　the　hopes　of　those　who　live　more

particularly　either　by　their　minds；　or　by　their　hearts；　or　by　action；

who　either　think；　or　feel；　or　act；　and　whose　tendency　is　misunderstood

in　the　close　association　in　which　two　persons；　equal　counterparts；

find　themselves；　you　will　have　great　indulgence　for　sorrows　to　which

the　world　is　pitiless。　Well；　Lady　Dudley　gratified　the　instincts；

organs；　appetites；　the　vices　and　virtues　of　the　subtile　matter　of

which　we　are　made；　she　was　the　mistress　of　the　body；　Madame　de

Mortsauf　was　the　wife　of　the　soul。　The　love　which　the　mistress

satisfies　has　its　limits；　matter