worldly ways and byways-第31节

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receiving　your　order；　the　waiter　would　disappear　for　half　an　hour；　

and　then　bring　your　entire　meal　on　one　tray；　the　over…cooked　meats　

stranded　in　lakes　of　coagulated　gravy；　the　entrees　cold　and　the　

ices　warm。　　He　had　generally　forgotten　two　or　three　essentials；　but　

to　send　back　for　them　meant　to　wait　another　half…hour；　as　his　other　

clients　were　clamoring　to　be　served。　　So　you　ate　what　was　before　

you　in　sulky　disgust；　and　got　out　of　the　room　as　quickly　as　

possible。



After　one　of　these　gastronomic　races；　being　hungry；　flustered；　and　

suffering　from　indigestion；　I　asked　mine　host　if　it　had　never　

occurred　to　him　to　serve　a　TABLE　D'HOTE　dinner　（in　courses）　as　is　

done　abroad；　where　hundreds　of　people　dine　at　the　same　moment；　each　

dish　being　offered　them　in　turn　accompanied　by　its　accessories。



〃Of　course；　I　have　thought　of　it；〃　he　answered。　　〃It　would　be　the　

greatest　improvement　that　could　be　introduced　into　American　hotel…

keeping。　　No　one　knows　better　than　I　do　how　disastrous　the　present　

system　is　to　all　parties。　　Take　as　an　example　of　the　present　way；　

the　dinner　I　am　going　to　give　you　to…morrow；　in　honor　of　Christmas。　　

Glance　over　this　MENU。　　You　will　see　that　it　enumerates　every　

costly　and　delicate　article　of　food　possible　to　procure　and　a　long　

list　of　other　dishes；　the　greater　part　of　which　will　not　even　be　

called　for。　　As　no　number　of　CHEFS　could　possibly　oversee　the　

proper　preparation　of　such　a　variety　of　meats　and　sauces；　all　will　

be　carelessly　cooked；　and　as　you　know　by　experience；　poorly　served。



〃People　who　exact　useless　variety；〃　he　added；　〃are　sure　in　some　way　

to　be　the　sufferers；　in　their　anxiety　to　try　everything；　they　will　

get　nothing　worth　eating。　　Yet　that　meal　will　cost　me　considerably　

more　than　my　guests　pay　for　their　twenty…four　hours'　board　and　

lodging。〃



〃Why　do　it；　you　ask？　　Because　it　is　the　custom；　and　because　it　will　

be　an　advertisement。　　These　bills　of　fare　will　be　sown　broadcast　

over　the　country　in　letters　to　friends　and　kept　as　souvenirs。　　If；　

instead　of　all　this　senseless　superfluity；　I　were　allowed　to　give　a　

TABLE　D'HOTE　meal　to…morrow；　with　the　CHEF　I　have；　I　could　provide　

an　exquisite　dinner；　perfect　in　every　detail；　served　at　little　

tables　as　deftly　and　silently　as　in　a　private　house。　　I　could　also　

discharge　half　of　my　waiters；　and　charge　two　dollars　a　day　instead　

of　five　dollars；　and　the　hotel　would　become　（what　it　has　never　been　

yet）　a　paying　investment；　so　great　would　he　the　saving。〃



〃Only　this　morning；〃　he　continued；　warming　to　his　subject；　〃while　

standing　in　the　dining　room；　I　saw　a　young　man　order　and　then　send　

away　half　the　dishes　on　the　MENU。　　A　chicken　was　broiled　for　him　

and　rejected；　a　steak　and　an　omelette　fared　no　better。　　How　much　do　

you　suppose　a　hotel　gains　from　a　guest　like　that？〃



〃The　reason　Americans　put　up　with　such　poor　viands　in　hotels　is；　

that　home　cooking　in　this　country　is　so　rudimentary；　consisting　

principally　of　fried　dishes；　and　hot　breads。　　So　little　is　known　

about　the　proper　preparation　of　food　that　tomorrow's　dinner　will　

appear　to　many　as　the　NE　PLUS　ULTRA　of　delicate　living。　　One　of　the　

charms　of　a　hotel　for　people　who　live　poorly　at　home；　lies　in　this　

power　to　order　expensive　dishes　they　rarely　or　never　see　on　their　

own　tables。〃



〃To　be　served　with　a　quantity　of　food　that　he　has　but　little　desire　

to　eat　is　one　of　an　American　citizen's　dearest　privileges；　and　a　

right　he　will　most　unwillingly　relinquish。　　He　may　know　as　well　as　

you　and　I　do；　that　what　he　calls　for　will　not　be　worth　eating；　that　

is　of　secondary　importance；　he　has　it　before　him；　and　is　

contented。〃



〃The　hotel　that　attempted　limiting　the　liberty　of　its　guests　to　the　

extent　of　serving　them　a　TABLE　D'HOTE　dinner；　would　be　emptied　in　a　

week。〃



〃A　crowning　incongruity；　as　most　people　are　delighted　to　dine　with　

friends；　or　at　public　functions；　where　the　meal　is　invariably　

served　A　LA　RUSSE　（another　name　for　a　TABLE　D'HOTE）；　and　on　these　

occasions　are　only　too　glad　to　have　their　MENU　chosen　for　them。　　

The　present　way；　however；　is　a　remnant　of　'old　times'　and　the　

average　American；　with　all　his　love　of　change　and　novelty；　is　very　

conservative　when　it　comes　to　his　table。〃



What　this　manager　did　not　confide　to　me；　but　what　I　discovered　

later　for　myself；　was　that　to　facilitate　the　service；　and　avoid　

confusion　in　the　kitchens；　it　had　become　the　custom　at　all　the　

large　and　most　of　the　small　hotels　in　this　country；　to　carve　the　

joints；　cut　up　the　game；　and　portion　out　vegetables；　an　hour　or　two　

before　meal　time。　　The　food；　thus　arranged；　is　placed　in　vast　steam　

closets；　where　it　simmers　gayly　for　hours；　in　its　own；　and　fifty　

other　vapors。



Any　one　who　knows　the　rudiments　of　cookery；　will　recognize　that　

with　this　system　no　viand　can　have　any　particular　flavor；　the　

partridges　having　a　taste　of　their　neighbor　the　roast　beef；　which　

in　turn　suggests　the　plum　pudding　it　has　been　〃chumming〃　with。



It　is　not　alone　in　a　hotel　that　we　miss　the　good　in　grasping　after　

the　better。　　Small　housekeeping　is　apparently　run　on　the　same　

lines。



A　young　Frenchman；　who　was　working　in　my　rooms；　told　me　in　reply　to　

a　question　regarding　prices；　that　every　kind　of　food　was　cheaper　

here　than　abroad；　but　the　prejudice　against　certain　dishes　was　so　

strong　in　this　country　that　many　of　the　best　things　in　the　markets　

were　never　called　for。　　Our　nation　is　no　longer　in　its　〃teens〃　and　

should　cease　to　act　like　a　foolish　boy　who　has　inherited　（what　

appears　to　him）　a　limitless　fortune；　not　for　fear　of　his　coming；　

like　his　prototype　in　the　parable；　to　live　on　〃husks〃　for　he　is　

doing　that　already；　but　lest　like　the　dog　of　the　fable；　in　grasping　

after　the　shadow　of　a　banquet　he　miss　the　simple　meal　that　is　

within　his　reach。



One　of　the　reasons　for　this　deplorable　state　of　affairs　lies　in　the　

foolish　education　our　girls　receive。　　They　learn　so　little　

housekeeping　at　home；　that　when　married　they　are　obliged　to　begin　

all　over　again；　unless　they　prefer；　like　a　majority　of　their　

friends；　to　let　things　as　go　at　the　will　and　discretion　of　the　

〃lady〃　below　stairs。



At　both　hotels　I　have　referred　to；　the　families　of　the　men　

interested　considered　it　beneath　them　to　know　what　was　taking　

place。　　The　〃daughter〃　of　the　New　England　house　went　semi…weekly　to　

Boston　to　take　violin　lessons　at　ten　dollars　each；　although　she　had　

no　intention　of　becoming　a　professional；　while　the　wife　wrote　

poetry　and　ignored　the　hotel　side　of　her　life　entirely。



The　〃better　half〃　of　the　Florida　establishment　hired　a　palace　in　

Rome　and　entertained　ambassadors。　　Hotels　divided　against　

themselves　are　apt　to　be　establishments　where　you　pay　for　riotous　

living　and　are　served　only　with　husks。



We　have　many　hard　lessons　ahead　of　us；　and　one　of　the　hardest　will　

be　for　our　nation　to　learn　humbly　from　the　thrifty　emigrants　on　our　

shores；　the　great　art　of　utilizing　the　〃tails〃　that　are　at　this　

moment　being　so　recklessly　thrown　away。



As　it　is；　in　spite　of　markets　overflowing　with　every　fish；　

vegetable；　and　tempting　viand；　we　continue　to　be　the　worst　fed；　

most　meagrely　nourished　of　all　the　wealthy　nations　on　the　face　of　

the　earth。　　We　have　a　saying　（for　an　excellent　reason　unknown　on　

the　Continent）　that　Providence　provides　us　with　food　and　the　devil　

sends　the　cooks！　　It　would　be　truer　to　say　that　the　poorer　the　food　

resources　of　a　nation；　the　more　restricted　the　choice　of　material；　

the　better　the　cooks；　a　small　latitude　when　providing　for　the　table　

forcing　them　to　a　hundred　clever　combinations　and　mysterious　

devices　to　vary　the　monotony　of　their　cuisine　and　tempt　a　palate；　

by　custom　staled。



Our　heedless　people；　with　great　variety　at　their　disposition；　are　

unequal　to　the　situation；　wasting　and　discarding　the　best；　and　

making　absolutely　nothing　of　their　advantages。



If　we　were　enjoying　our　prodigality　by　living　on　the　fat　of　the　

land；　there　would　be　less　reason　to　reproach　ourselves；　for　every　

one　has　a　right　to　live　as　he　pleases。　　But　as　it　is；　our　foolish　

prodigals　are　spending　their　substance；　while　eating　the　husks！









CHAPTER　30　…　The　Faubourg　of　St。　Germain





THERE　has　been　too　much　said　and　written　in　the　last　dozen　years　

about　breaking　down　the　〃great　wall〃　behind　which　the　aristocrats　

of　the　famous　Faubourg；　like　the　Celestials；　their　prototypes；　have　

ensconced　themselves。　　The　Chinese　speak　of　outsiders　as　

〃barbarians。〃　　The　French　ladies　refer　to　such　unfortunates　as　

being　〃beyond　the　pale。〃　　Almost　all　that　has　been　written　is　

arrant　nonsense；　that　imaginary　barrier　exists　to…day　on　as　firm　a　

foundation；　and　is　guarded　by　sentinels　as　vigilant　as　when；　forty　

years　ago；　Napoleon　（third　of　the　name）　and　his　Spanish　spouse　

mounted　to　its　assault。



Their　repulse　was　a　bitter　humiliation　to