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and giving grounds for tennis and golf clubs。  Clever Southern 

people!  The money returned to them a hundredfold; and they lived 

to see their wild coast become the chosen residence of the 

wealthiest aristocracy in Europe; and the rocky hillsides blossom 

into terrace above terrace of villa gardens; where palm and rose 

and geranium vie with the olive and the mimosa to shade the white 

villas from the sun。  To…day; no little town on the coast is 

without its English chapel; British club; tennis ground; and golf 

links。  On a fair day at Monte Carlo; Nice; or Cannes; the 

prevailing conversation is in English; and the handsome; well…

dressed sons of Albion lounge along beside their astonishing 

womankind as thoroughly at home as on Bond Street。



Those wonderful English women are the source of unending marvel and 

amusement to the French。  They can never understand them; and small 

wonder; for with the exception of the small 〃set〃 that surrounds 

the Prince of Wales; who are dressed in the Parisian fashion; all 

English women seem to be overwhelmed with regret at not being born 

men; and to have spent their time and ingenuity since; in trying to 

make up for nature's mistake。  Every masculine garment is twisted 

by them to fit the female figure; their conversation; like that of 

their brothers; is about horses and dogs; their hats and gloves are 

the same as the men's; and when with their fine; large feet in 

stout shoes they start off; with that particular swinging gait that 

makes the skirt seem superfluous; for a stroll of twenty miles or 

so; Englishwomen do seem to the uninitiated to have succeeded in 

their ambition of obliterating the difference between the sexes。



It is of an evening; however; when concealment is no longer 

possible; that the native taste bursts forth; the Anglo…Saxon 

standing declared in all her plainness。  Strong is the contrast 

here; where they are placed side by side with all that Europe holds 

of elegant; and well…dressed Frenchwomen; whether of the 〃world〃 or 

the 〃half…world;〃 are invariably marvels of fitness and freshness; 

the simplest materials being converted by their skilful touch into 

toilettes; so artfully adapted to the wearer's figure and 

complexion; as to raise such 〃creations〃 to the level of a fine 

art。



An artist feels; he must fix on canvas that particular combination 

of colors or that wonderful line of bust and hip。  It is with a 

shudder that he turns to the British matron; for she has probably; 

for this occasion; draped herself in an 〃art material;〃 … 

principally 〃Liberty〃 silks of dirty greens and blues (aesthetic 

shades!)。  He is tempted to cry out in his disgust: 〃Oh; Liberty!  

Liberty!  How many crimes are committed in thy name!〃  It is one of 

the oddest things in the world that the English should have elected 

to live so much in France; for there are probably nowhere two 

peoples so diametrically opposed on every point; or who so 

persistently and wilfully misunderstand each other; as the English 

and the French。



It has been my fate to live a good deal on both sides of the 

Channel; and nothing is more amusing than to hear the absurdities 

that are gravely asserted by each of their neighbors。  To a Briton; 

a Frenchman will always be 〃either tiger or monkey〃 according to 

Voltaire; while to the French mind English gravity is only 

hypocrisy to cover every vice。  Nothing pleases him so much as a 

great scandal in England; he will gleefully bring you a paper 

containing the account of it; to prove how true is his opinion。  It 

is quite useless to explain to the British mind; as I have often 

tried to do; that all Frenchmen do not pass their lives drinking 

absinthe on the boulevards; and as Englishmen seem to leave their 

morals in a valise at Dover when off for a visit to Paris; to be 

picked up on their return; it is time lost to try to make a Gaul 

understand what good husbands and fathers the sons of Albion are。



These two great nations seem to stand in the relation to each other 

that Rome and Greece held。  The English are the conquerors of the 

world; and its great colonizers; with a vast capital in which 

wealth and misery jostle each other on the streets; a hideous 

conglomeration of buildings and monuments; without form and void; 

very much as old Rome must have been under the Caesars; enormous 

buildings without taste; and enormous wealth。  The French have 

inherited the temperament of the Greeks。  The drama; painting; and 

sculpture are the preoccupation of the people。  The yearly 

exhibitions are; for a month before they open; the unique subject 

of conversation in drawing…room or club。  The state protects the 

artist and buys his work。  Their CONSERVATOIRES form the singers; 

and their schools the painters and architects of Europe and 

America。



The English copy them in their big way; just as the Romans copied 

the masterpieces of Greek art; while they despised the authors。  It 

is rare that a play succeeds in Paris which is not instantly 

translated and produced in London; often with the adapter's name 

printed on the programme in place of the author's; the French…man; 

who only wrote it; being ignored。  Just as the Greeks faded away 

and disappeared before their Roman conquerors; it is to be feared 

that in our day this people of a finer clay will succumb。  The 

〃defects of their qualities〃 will be their ruin。  They will stop at 

home; occupied with literature and art; perfecting their dainty 

cities; while their tougher neighbors are dominating the globe; 

imposing their language and customs on the conquered peoples or the 

earth。  One feels this on the Riviera。  It reminds you of the 

cuckoo who; once installed in a robin's nest; that seems to him 

convenient and warmly located in the sunshine; ends by kicking out 

all the young robins。









CHAPTER 23 … A Common Weakness





GOVERNMENTS may change and all the conditions of life be modified; 

but certain ambitions and needs of man remain immutable。  Climates; 

customs; centuries; have in no way diminished the craving for 

consideration; the desire to be somebody; to bear some mark 

indicating to the world that one is not as other men。



For centuries titles supplied the want。  This satisfaction has been 

denied to us; so ambitious souls are obliged to seek other means to 

feed their vanity。



Even before we were born into the world of nations; an attempt was 

made amongst the aristocratically minded court surrounding our 

chief magistrate; to form a society that should (without the name) 

be the beginning of a class apart。



The order of the Cincinnati was to have been the nucleus of an 

American nobility。  The tendencies of this society are revealed by 

the fact that primogeniture was its fundamental law。  Nothing could 

have been more opposed to the spirit of the age; nor more at 

variance with the declaration of our independence; than the 

insertion of such a clause。  This fact was discovered by the far…

seeing eye of Washington; and the society was suppressed in the 

hope (shared by almost all contemporaries) that with new forms of 

government the nature of man would undergo a transformation and 

rise above such puerile ambitions。



Time has shown the fallacy of these dreams。  All that has been 

accomplished is the displacement of the objective point; the 

desire; the mania for a handle to one's name is as prevalent as 

ever。  Leave the centres of civilization and wander in the small 

towns and villages of our country。  Every other man you meet is 

introduced as the Colonel or the Judge; and you will do well not to 

inquire too closely into the matter; nor to ask to see the title…

deeds to such distinctions。  On the other hand; to omit his prefix 

in addressing one of these local magnates; would be to offend him 

deeply。  The women…folk were quick to borrow a little of this 

distinction; and in Washington to…day one is gravely presented to 

Mrs。 Senator Smith or Mrs。 Colonel Jones。  The climax being reached 

by one aspiring female who styles herself on her visiting cards; 

〃Mrs。 Acting…Assistant…Paymaster Robinson。〃  If by any chance it 

should occur to any one to ask her motive in sporting such an 

unwieldy handle; she would say that she did it 〃because one can't 

be going about explaining that one is not just ordinary Mrs。 

Robinson or Thompson; like the thousand others in town。〃  A woman 

who cannot find an excuse for assuming such a prefix will sometime 

have recourse to another stratagem; to particularize an ordinary 

surname。  She remembers that her husband; who ever since he was 

born has been known to everybody as Jim; is the proud possessor of 

the middle name Ivanhoe; or Pericles (probably the result of a 

romantic mother's reading); so one fine day the young couple bloom 

out as Mr。 and Mrs。 J。 Pericles Sparks; to the amusement of their 

f

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