christie johnstone-第13节

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her　ear　in　this　man's　absence；　on　the　arrival　of　her　fellow…enthusiast　he
had　ever　the　mortification　of　finding　himself　_de　trop。_

Once　or　twice　he　demolished　this　personage　in　argument；　and　was　rewarded
by　finding　himself　more　_de　trop。_

But　one　day　Lady　Barbara；　being　in　a　cousinly　humor；　expressed　a　wish　to
sail　in　his　lordship's　yacht；　and　this　hint　soon　led　to　a　party　being
organized；　and　a　sort　of　picnic　on　the　island　of　Inch　Coombe；　his
lordship's　cutter　being　the　mode　of　conveyance　to　and　from　that　spot。

Now　it　happened　on　that　very　day　Jean　Carnie's　marriage　was　celebrated　on
that　very　island　by　her　relations　and　friends。

So　that　we　shall　introduce　our　readers　to

THE　RIVAL　PICNICS。

We　begin　with　_Les　gens　comme　il　faut。_

PICNIC　NO。　1。

The　servants　were　employed　in　putting　away　dishes　into　hampers。

There　was　a　calm　silence。　〃Hem！〃　observed　Sir　Henry　Talbot。

〃Eh？〃　replied　the　Honorable　Tom　Hitherington。

〃Mamma；〃　said　Miss　Vere；　〃have　you　brought　any　work？〃

〃No；　my　dear。〃

〃At　a　picnic；〃　said　Mr。　Hitherington；　isn't　it　the　thing　for
somebodyawto　do　something？〃

〃Ipsden；〃　said　Lady　Barbara；　〃there　is　an　understanding　_between_　you　and
Mr。　Hitherington。　I　condemn　you　to　turn　him　into　English。〃

〃Yes；　Lady　Barbara；　I'll　tell　you；　he　means…do　you　mean　anything；　Tom？〃

_Hitherington。_　〃Can't　anybody　guess　what　I　mean？〃

_Lady　Barbara。_　〃Guess　first　yourself；　you　can't　be　suspected　of　being　in
the　secret。〃

_Hither。_　〃What　I　mean　is；　that　people　sing　a　song；　or　run　races；　or
preach　a　sermon；　or　do　something　funny　at　a　picnicawsomebody　gets　up
and　does　something。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃Then　perhaps　Miss　Vere；　whose　singing　is　famous；　will　have
the　complaisance　to　sing　to　us。〃

_Miss　Vere。_　〃I　should　be　happy；　Lady　Barbara；　but　I　have　not　brought　my
music。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃Oh；　we　are　not　critical；　the　simplest　air；　or　even　a
fragment　of　melody；　the　sea　and　the　sky　will　be　a　better　accompaniment
than　Broadwood　ever　made。〃

_Miss　V。_　〃I　can't　sing　a　note　without　book。〃

_Sir　H。　Talbot。_　〃Your　music　is　in　your　soulnot　at　your　fingers'　ends。〃

_Lord　Ipsden；　to　Lady　Bar。_　〃It　is　in　her　book；　and　not　in　her　soul。〃

_Lady　Bar。；　to　Lord　Ips。_　〃Then　it　has　chosen　the　better　situation　of　the
two。〃

_Ips。_　〃Miss　Vere　is　to　the　fine　art　of　music　what　the　engrossers　are　to
the　black　art　of　law；　it　all　filters　through　them　without　leaving　any
sediment；　and　so　the　music　of　the　day　passes　through　Miss　Vere's　mind；
but　none　remainsto　stain　its　virgin　snow。〃

He　bows；　she　smiles。

_Lady　Bar。；　to　herself。_　〃Insolent。　And　the　little　dunce　thinks　he　is
complimenting　her。〃

_Ips。_　〃Perhaps　Talbot　will　come　to　our　rescuehe　is　a　fiddler。〃

_Tal。_　〃An　amateur　of　the　violin。〃

_Ips。_　〃It　is　all　the　same　thing。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃I　wish　it　may　prove　so。〃

＇Note：　original　has　music　notation　here＇

_Miss　V。_　〃Beautiful。〃

_Mrs。　Vere。_　〃Charming。〃

_Hither。_　〃Superb！〃

_Ips。_　〃You　are　aware　that　good　music　is　a　thing　to　be　wedded　to　immortal
verse；　shall　I　recite　a　bit　of　poetry　to　match　Talbot's　strain？〃

_Miss　V。_　〃Oh；　yes！　how　nice。〃

_Ips。　（rhetorically）。_　〃A。　B。　C。　D。　E。　F。　G。　H。　I。　J。　K。　L。　M。　N。　O。　P。
Q。　R。　S。　T。　U。　V。　W。　X。　Y。　Z。　Y。　X。　W。　V。　U。　T。　S。　O。　N。　M。　L。　K。　J。　I。
H。　G。　F。　A。　M。　little　p。　little　t。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃Beautiful！　Superb！　Ipsden　has　been　taking　lessons　on　the
thinking　instrument。〃

_Hither。_　〃He　has　been　_perdu_　among　vulgar　people。〃

_Tal。_　〃And　expects　a　pupil　of　Herz　to　play　him　tunes！〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃What　are　tunes；　Sir　Henry？〃

_Tal。_　〃Something　I　don't　play；　Lady　Barbara。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃I　understand　you；　something　we　ought　to　like。〃

_Ips。_　〃I　have　a　Stradivarius　violin　at　home。　It　is　yours；　Talbot；　if　you
can　define　a　tune。〃

_Tal。_　〃A　tune　iseverybody　knows　what。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃A　tune　is　a　tune；　that　is　what　you　meant　to　say。〃

_Tal。_　〃Of　course　it　is。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃Be　reasonable；　Ipsden；　no　man　can　do　two　things　at　once；　how
can　the　pupil　of　Herz　condemn　a　thing　and　know　what　it　means
contemporaneously？〃

_Ips。_　〃Is　the　drinking…song　in　'Der　Freischutz'　a　tune？〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃It　is。〃

_Ips。_　〃And　the　melodies　of　Handel；　are　they　tunes？〃

_Lady　Bar。　（pathetically）。_　〃They　are！　They　are！〃

_Ips。_　〃And　the　'Russian　Anthem；'　and　the　'Marseillaise；'　and　'Ah；
Perdona'？〃

_Tal。_　〃And　'Yankee　Doodle'？〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃So　that　Sir　Henry；　who　prided　himself　on　his　ignorance；　has
a　wide　field　for　its　dominion。

_Tal。_　〃All　good　violin　players　do　like　me；　they　prelude；　not　play
tunes。〃

_Ips。_　〃Then　Heaven　be　thanked　for　our　blind　fiddlers。　You　like　syllables
of　sound　in　unmeaning　rotation；　and　you　despise　its　words；　its　purposes；
its　narrative　feats；　carry　out　your　principle；　it　will　show　you　where　you
are。　Buy　a　dirty　palette　for　a　picture；　and　dream　the　alphabet　is　a
poem。〃

_Lady　Bar。；　to　herself。_　〃Is　this　my　cousin　Richard？〃

_Hither。_　〃Mind；　Ipsden；　you　are　a　man　of　property；　and　there　are　such
things　as　commissions　_de　lunatico。〃_

_Lady　Bar。_　〃His　defense　will　be　that　his　friends　pronounced　him　insane。

_Ips。_　〃No；　I　shall　subpoena　Talbot's　fiddle；　cross…examination　will　get
nothing　out　of　that　but；　do；　re；　mi；　fa。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃Yes；　it　will；　fa；　mi；　re；　do。〃

_Tal。_　〃Violin；　if　you　please。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃Ask　Fiddle's　pardon；　directly。〃

_Sound　of　fiddles　is　heard　in　the　distance。_

_Tal。_　〃How　lucky　for　you；　there　are　fiddles　and　tunes；　and　the　natives
you　are　said　to　favor；　why　not　join　them？〃

_Ips。　（shaking　his　head　solemnly）。_　〃I　dread　to　encounter　another
prelude。〃

_Hither。_　〃Come；　I　know　you　would　like　it；　it　is　a　wedding…partytwo　sea
monsters　have　been　united。　The　sailors　and　fishermen　are　all　blue　cloth
and　wash…leather　gloves。〃

_Miss　V。_　〃He！　he！〃

_Tal。_　〃The　fishwives　unite　the　colors　of　the　rainbow〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃（And　we　all　know　how　hideous　they　are）to　vulgar；　blooming
cheeks；　staring　white　teeth；　and　sky…blue　eyes。〃

_Mrs。　V。_　〃How　satirical　you　are；　especially　you；　Lady　Barbara。〃

Here　Lord　Ipsden；　after　a　word　to　Lady　Barbara；　the　answer　to　which　did
not　appear　to　be　favorable；　rose；　gave　a　little　yawn；　looked　steadily　at
his　companions　without　seeing　them；　and　departed　without　seeming　aware
that　he　was　leaving　anybody　behind　him。

_Hither。_　〃Let　us　go　somewhere　where　we　can　quiz　the　natives　without
being　too　near　them。〃

_Lady　Bar。_　〃I　am　tired　of　this　unbroken　solitude；　I　must　go　and　think　to
the　sea；〃　added　she；　in　a　mock　soliloquy；　and　out　she　glided　with　the
same　unconscious　air　as　his　lordship　had　worn。

The　others　moved　off　slowly　together。

〃Mamma；〃　said　Miss　Vere；〃　I　can't　understand　half　Barbara　Sinclair　says。〃

〃It　is　not　necessary；　my　love；〃　replied　mamma；　〃she　is　rather　eccentric；
and　I　fear　she　is　spoiling　Lord　Ipsden。〃

〃Poor　Lord　Ipsden；〃　murmured　the　lovely　Vere；　〃he　used　to　be　so　nice；　and
do　like　everybody　else。　Mamma；　I　shall　bring　some　work　the　next　time。〃

〃Do；　my　love。〃

PICNIC　NO。　2。

In　a　house；　two　hundred　yards　from　this　scene；　a　merry　dance；　succeeding
a　merry　song；　had　ended；　and　they　were　in　the　midst　of　an　interesting
story；　Christie　Johnstone　was　the　narrator。　She　had　found　the　tale　in　one
of　the　viscount's　booksit　had　made　a　great　impression　on　her。

The　rest　were　listening　intently。　In　a　room　which　had　lately　been　all
noise；　not　a　sound　was　now　to　be　heard　but　the　narrator's　voice。

〃Aweel；　lasses；　here　are　the　three　wee　kists　set；　the　lads　are　to
chusethe　ane　that　chuses　reicht　is　to　get　Porsha；　an'　the　lave　to　get
the　bag；　and　dee　baitchelarsFlucker　Johnstone；　you　that's　sae
cleverare　ye　for　gowd；　or　siller；　or　leed？〃

_1st　Fishwife。_　〃Gowd　for　me！〃

_2d　ditto。_　〃The　white　siller's　my　taste。〃

_Flucker。_　〃Na！　there's　aye　some　deevelish　trick　in　thir　lassie's
stories。　I　shall　ha　to；　till　the　ither　lads　hae　chused；　the　mair　part
will　put　themsels　oot；　ane　will　hit　it　off　reicht　maybe；　then　I　shall　gie
him　a　hidin'　an'　carry　off　the　lass。　You…hoo！〃

_Jean　Carnie。_　〃That's　you；　Flucker。〃

_Christie　Johnstone。_　〃And　div　ye　really　think　we　are　gawn　to　let　you　see
a'　the　world　chuse？　Na；　lad；　ye　are　putten　oot　o'　the　room；　like
witnesses。〃

_Flucker。_　〃Then　I'd　toss　a　penny；　for　gien　ye　trust　to　luck；　she　whiles
favors　ye；　but　gien　ye　commence　to　reason　and　argefyye're　done！〃

_Christie。_　〃The　suitors　had　na　your　wit；　my　manny；　or　maybe　they　had　na
a　penny　to　toss；　sae　ane　chused　the　gowd；　ane　the　siller；　but　they　got　an
awfu'　affront。　The　gold　kist　had　just　a　skull　intil't；　and　the　siller　a
deed　cuddy's　head！〃

_Chorus　of　Females。_　〃He！　he！　he！〃

_Ditto　of　Males。_　〃Haw！　haw！　haw！　haw！　Ho！〃

_Christie。_　〃An'　Porsha　puttit　the　pair　of　gowks　to　the　door。　Then　came
Bassanio；　the　lad　fra　Veeneece；　that　Porsha　loed　in　secret。　Veeneece；
lasses；　is　a　wonderful　city；　the　streets　o'　't　are　water；　and　the
carriages　are　boatsthat's　in　Chambers'。〃

_Flucker。_　〃Wha　are　ye　making　a　fool　o'？〃

_Christie。_　〃What's　wrang？〃

_Flucker。_　〃Yon's　just　as　big　a　lee　as　ever　I　heerd。〃

The　words　were　scarcely　out　of　his　mouth　ere　he　had　reason　to　regret
them；　a　severe　box　on　the　ear　was　administered　by　his　indignant　sister。
Nobody　pitied　him。

_Christie