selected writings-第14节

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been　my　own　sister　ever　since　she　was　a　child；　but　as　to　a

possible　trick　on　the　doctor's　part。　Had　not　he；　perhaps；　kept　a

glass　hidden　in　his　hand；　which　he　showed　to　the　young　woman　in

her　sleep　at　the　same　time　as　he　did　the　card？　Professional

conjurers　do　things　which　are　just　as　singular。



However；　I　went　to　bed；　and　this　morning；　at　about　half　past

eight；　I　was　awakened　by　my　footman；　who　said　to　me：　〃Madame

Sable　has　asked　to　see　you　immediately；　Monsieur。〃　I　dressed

hastily　and　went　to　her。



She　sat　down　in　some　agitation；　with　her　eyes　on　the　floor；　and

without　raising　her　veil　said　to　me：　〃My　dear　cousin；　I　am　going

to　ask　a　great　favor　of　you。〃



〃What　is　it；　cousin？〃



〃I　do　not　like　to　tell　you；　and　yet　I　must。　I　am　in　absolute　want

of　five　thousand　francs。〃



〃What；　you？〃



〃Yes；　I；　or　rather　my　husband；　who　has　asked　me　to　procure　them

for　him。〃



I　was　so　stupefied　that　I　hesitated　to　answer。　I　asked　myself

whether　she　had　not　really　been　making　fun　of　me　with　Dr。　Parent；

if　it　were　not　merely　a　very　well…acted　farce　which　had　been　got

up　beforehand。　On　looking　at　her　attentively；　however；　my　doubts

disappeared。　She　was　trembling　with　grief；　so　painful　was　this

step　to　her；　and　I　was　sure　that　her　throat　was　full　of　sobs。



I　knew　that　she　was　very　rich　and　so　I　continued：　〃What！　Has　not

your　husband　five　thousand　francs　at　his　disposal？　Come；　think。

Are　you　sure　that　he　commissioned　you　to　ask　me　for　them？〃



She　hesitated　for　a　few　seconds；　as　if　she　were　making　a　great

effort　to　search　her　memory；　and　then　she　replied：　〃Yesyes；　I

am　quite　sure　of　it。〃



〃He　has　written　to　you？〃



She　hesitated　again　and　reflected；　and　I　guessed　the　torture　of

her　thoughts。　She　did　not　know。　She　only　knew　that　she　was　to

borrow　five　thousand　francs　of　me　for　her　husband。　So　she　told　a

lie。



〃Yes；　he　has　written　to　me。〃



〃When；　pray？　You　did　not　mention　it　to　me　yesterday。〃



〃I　received　his　letter　this　morning。〃



〃Can　you　show　it　to　me？〃



〃No；　nonoit　contained　private　matters；　things　too　personal　to

ourselves。　I　burned　it。〃



〃So　your　husband　runs　into　debt？〃



She　hesitated　again；　and　then　murmured：　〃I　do　not　know。〃



Thereupon　I　said　bluntly：　〃I　have　not　five　thousand　francs　at　my

disposal　at　this　moment；　my　dear　cousin。〃



She　uttered　a　cry；　as　if　she　were　in　pair；　and　said：　〃Oh！　oh！　I

beseech　you；　I　beseech　you　to　get　them　for　me。〃



She　got　excited　and　clasped　her　hands　as　if　she　were　praying　to

me！　I　heard　her　voice　change　its　tone；　she　wept　and　sobbed；

harassed　and　dominated　by　the　irresistible　order　that　she　had

received。



〃Oh！　oh！　I　beg　you　toif　you　knew　what　I　am　sufferingI　want

them　to…day。〃



I　had　pity　on　her：　〃You　shall　have　them　by　and　by；　I　swear　to

you。〃



〃Oh！　thank　you！　thank　you！　How　kind　you　are。〃



I　continued：　〃Do　you　remember　what　took　place　at　your　house　last

night？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Do　you　remember　that　Dr。　Parent　sent　you　to　sleep？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Oh！　Very　well　then；　he　ordered　you　to　come　to　me　this　morning　to

borrow　five　thousand　francs；　and　at　this　moment　you　are　obeying

that　suggestion。〃



She　considered　for　a　few　moments；　and　then　replied：　〃But　as　it　is

my　husband　who　wants　them〃



For　a　whole　hour　I　tried　to　convince　her；　but　could　not　succeed；

and　when　she　had　gone　I　went　to　the　doctor。　He　was　just　going

out；　and　he　listened　to　me　with　a　smile；　and　said：　〃Do　you

believe　now？〃



〃Yes；　I　cannot　help　it。〃



〃Let　us　go　to　your　cousin's。〃



She　was　already　resting　on　a　couch；　overcome　with　fatigue。　The

doctor　felt　her　pulse；　looked　at　her　for　some　time　with　one　hand

raised　toward　her　eyes；　which　she　closed　by　degrees　under　the

irresistible　power　of　this　magnetic　influence。　When　she　was

asleep；　he　said：



〃Your　husband　does　not　require　the　five　thousand　francs　any

longer！　You　must；　therefore；　forget　that　you　asked　your　cousin　to

lend　them　to　you；　and；　if　he　speaks　to　you　about　it；　you　will　not

understand　him。〃



Then　he　woke　her　up；　and　I　took　out　a　pocket…book　and　said：　〃Here

is　what　you　asked　me　for　this　morning；　my　dear　cousin。〃　But　she

was　so　surprised；　that　I　did　not　venture　to　persist；

nevertheless；　I　tried　to　recall　the　circumstance　to　her；　but　she

denied　it　vigorously；　thought　that　I　was　making　fun　of　her；　and

in　the　end；　very　nearly　lost　her　temper。



There！　I　have　just　come　back；　and　I　have　not　been　able　to　eat　any

lunch；　for　this　experiment　has　altogether　upset　me。



July　19。　Many　people　to　whom　I　have　told　the　adventure　have

laughed　at　me。　I　no　longer　know　what　to　think。　The　wise　man　says：

Perhaps？



July　21。　I　dined　at　Bougival；　and　then　I　spent　the　evening　at　a

boatmen's　ball。　Decidedly　everything　depends　on　place　and

surroundings。　It　would　be　the　height　of　folly　to　believe　in　the

supernatural　on　the　Ile　de　la　Grenouilliere。＇1＇　But　on　the　top　of

Mont　Saint…Michel　or　in　India；　we　are　terribly　under　the

influence　of　our　surroundings。　I　shall　return　home　next　week。



＇1＇　Frog…island。



July　30。　I　came　back　to　my　own　house　yesterday。　Everything　is

going　on　well。



August　2。　Nothing　fresh；　it　is　splendid　weather；　and　I　spend　my

days　in　watching　the　Seine　flow　past。



August　4。　Quarrels　among　my　servants。　They　declare　that　the

glasses　are　broken　in　the　cupboards　at　night。　The　footman　accuses

the　cook；　she　accuses　the　needlewoman；　and　the　latter　accuses　the

other　two。　Who　is　the　culprit？　It　would　take　a　clever　person　to

tell。



August　6。　This　time；　I　am　not　mad。　I　have　seen　I　have　seenI

have　seen！I　can　doubt　no　longer　I　have　seen　it！



I　was　walking　at　two　o'clock　among　my　rose…trees；　in　the　full

sunlightin　the　walk　bordered　by　autumn　roses　which　are

beginning　to　fall。　As　I　stopped　to　look　at　a　Geant　de　Bataille；

which　had　three　splendid　blooms；　I　distinctly　saw　the　stalk　of

one　of　the　roses　bend　close　to　me；　as　if　an　invisible　hand　had

bent　it；　and　then　break；　as　if　that　hand　had　picked　it！　Then　the

flower　raised　itself；　following　the　curve　which　a　hand　would　have

described　in　carrying　it　toward　a　mouth；　and　remained　suspended

in　the　transparent　air；　alone　and　motionless；　a　terrible　red

spot；　three　yards　from　my　eyes。　In　desperation　I　rushed　at　it　to

take　it！　I　found　nothing；　it　had　disappeared。　Then　I　was　seized

with　furious　rage　against　myself；　for　it　is　not　wholesome　for　a

reasonable　and　serious　man　to　have　such　hallucinations。



But　was　it　a　hallucination？　I　turned　to　look　for　the　stalk；　and　I

found　it　immediately　under　the　bush；　freshly　broken；　between　the

two　other　roses　which　remained　on　the　branch。　I　returned　home；

then；　with　a　much　disturbed　mind；　for　I　am　certain　now；　certain

as　I　am　of　the　alternation　of　day　and　night；　that　there　exists

close　to　me　an　invisible　being　who　lives　on　milk　and　on　water；

who　can　touch　objects；　take　them　and　change　their　places；　who　is；

consequently；　endowed　with　a　material　nature；　although

imperceptible　to　sense；　and　who　lives　as　I　do；　under　my　roof



August　7。　I　slept　tranquilly。　He　drank　the　water　out　of　my

decanter；　but　did　not　disturb　my　sleep。



I　ask　myself　whether　I　am　mad。　As　I　was　walking　just　now　in　the

sun　by　the　riverside；　doubts　as　to　my　own　sanity　arose　in　me；　not

vague　doubts　such　as　I　have　had　hitherto；　but　precise　and

absolute　doubts。　I　have　seen　mad　people；　and　I　have　known　some

who　were　quite　intelligent；　lucid；　even　clear…sighted　in　every

concern　of　life；　except　on　one　point。　They　could　speak　clearly；

readily；　profoundly　on　everything；　till　their　thoughts　were

caught　in　the　breakers　of　their　delusions　and　went　to　pieces

there；　were　dispersed　and　swamped　in　that　furious　and　terrible

sea　of　fogs　and　squalls　which　is　called　MADNESS。



I　certainly　should　think　that　I　was　mad；　absolutely　mad；　if　I

were　not　conscious　that　I　knew　my　state；　if　I　could　not　fathom　it

and　analyze　it　with　the　most　complete　lucidity。　I　should；　in

fact；　be　a　reasonable　man　laboring　under　a　hallucination。　Some

unknown　disturbance　must　have　been　excited　in　my　brain；　one　of

those　disturbances　which　physiologists　of　the　present　day　try　to

note　and　to　fix　precisely；　and　that　disturbance　must　have　caused

a　profound　gulf　in　my　mind　and　in　the　order　and　logic　of　my

ideas。　Similar　phenomena　occur　in　dreams；　and　lead　us　through　the

most　unlikely　phantasmagoria；　without　causing　us　any　surprise；

because　our　verifying　apparatus　and　our　sense　of　control　have

gone　to　sleep；　while　our　imaginative　faculty　wakes　and　works。　Was

it　not　possible　that　one　of　the　imperceptible　keys　of　the

cerebral　finger…board　had　been　paralyzed　in　me？　Some　men　lose　the

recollection　of　proper　names；　or　of　verbs；　or　of　numbers；　or

merely　of　dates；　in　consequence　of　an　accident。　The　localization

of　all　the　avenues　of　thought　has　been　accomplished　nowadays；

what；　then；　would　there　be　surprising　in　the　fact　that　my　faculty

of　controlling　the　u