the professor(教授)-第8节
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I wonder you should ask： you are yourself a strong proof of the
absurdity I allude to。”
I was determined he should explain himself of his own accord；
without my pressing him so to do—so I resumed my silence。
“Is it your intention to become a tradesman？” he inquired
presently。
“It was my serious intention three months ago。”
“Humph！ the more fool you—you look like a tradesman！ What a
practical business…like face you have！”
“My face is as the Lord made it； Mr。 Hunsden。”
“The Lord never made either your face or head for X—。 What
good can your bumps of ideality； comparison； self…esteem；
conscientiousness； do you here？ But if you like Bigben Close； stay
there； it’s your own affair； not mine。”
“Perhaps I have no choice。”
“Well； I care nought about it—it will make little difference to
me what you do or where you go； but I’m cool now—I want to
dance again； and I see such a fine girl sitting in the corner of the
sofa there by her mamma； see if I don’t get her for a partner in a
jiffy！ There’s Waddy—Sam Waddy making up to her； won’t I cut
him out？”
And Mr。 Hunsden strode away。 I watched him through the open
folding…doors； he outstripped Waddy； applied for the hand of the
fine girl； and led her off triumphant。 She was a tall； well…made；
full…formed； dashingly…dressed young woman； much in the style of
Mrs。 E。 Crimsworth； Hunsden whirled her through the waltz with
spirit； he kept at her side during the remainder of the evening； and
I read in her animated and gratified countenance that he
succeeded in making himself perfectly agreeable。 The mamma too
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The Professor 34
（a stout person in a turban—Mrs。 Lupton by name） looked well
pleased； prophetic visions probably flattered her inward eye。 The
Hunsdens were of an old stem； and scornful as Yorke （such was
my late interlocutor’s name） professed to be of the advantages of
birth； in his secret heart he well knew and fully appreciated the
distinction his ancient； if not high lineage conferred on him in a
mushroom…place like X—； concerning whose inhabitants it was
proverbially said； that not one in a thousand knew his own
grandfather。 Moreover the Hunsdens； once rich； were still
independent； and report affirmed that Yorke bade fair； by his
success in business； to restore to pristine prosperity the partially
decayed fortunes of his house。 These circumstances considered；
Mrs。 Lupton’s broad face might well wear a smile of complacency
as she contemplated the heir of Hunsden Wood occupied in paying
assiduous court to her darling Sarah Martha。 I； however； whose
observations being less anxious； were likely to be more accurate；
soon saw that the grounds for maternal self…congratulation were
slight indeed； the gentleman appeared to me much more desirous
of making； than susceptible of receiving an impression。 I know not
what it was in Mr。 Hunsden that； as I watched him （I had nothing
better to do）； suggested to me； every now and then； the idea of a
foreigner。 In form and features he might be pronounced English；
though even there one caught a dash of something Gallic； but he
had no English shyness： he had learnt somewhere； somehow； the
art of setting himself quite at his ease； and of allowing no insular
timidity to intervene as a barrier between him and his
convenience or pleasure。 Refinement he did not affect； yet vulgar
he could not be called； he was not odd—no quiz—yet he
resembled no one else I had ever seen before； his general bearing
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The Professor 35
intimated complete； sovereign satisfaction with himself； yet； at
times； an indescribable shade passed like an eclipse over his
countenance； and seemed to me like the sign of a sudden and
strong inward doubt of himself； his words and actions…an energetic
discontent at his life or his social position； his future prospects or
his mental attainments—I know not which； perhaps after all it
might only be a bilious caprice。
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The Professor 36
Chapter IV
o man likes to acknowledge that he has made a mistake
Nin the choice of his profession； and every man； worthy of
the name； will row long against wind and tide before he
allows himself to cry out； “I am baffled！” and submits to be floated
passively back to land。 From the first week of my residence in X—
I felt my occupation irksome。 The thing itself—the work of copying
and translating business…letters—was a dry and tedious task
enough； but had that been all； I should long have borne with the
nuisance； I am not of an impatient nature； and influenced by the
double desire of getting my living and justifying to myself and
others the resolution I had taken to become a tradesman； I should
have endured in silence the rust and cramp of my best faculties； I
should not have whispered； even inwardly； that I longed for
liberty； I should have pent in every sigh by which my heart might
have ventured to intimate its distress under the closeness； smoke；
monotony and joyless tumult of Bigben Close； and its panting
desire for freer and fresher scenes； I should have set up the image
of Duty； the fetish of Perseverance； in my small bedroom at Mrs。
King’s lodgings； and they two should have been my household
gods； from which my darling； my cherished…in…secret； Imagination；
the tender and the mighty； should never； either by softness or
strength； have severed me。 But this was not all； the antipathy
which had sprung up between myself and my employer striking
deeper root and spreading denser shade daily； excluded me from
every glimpse of the sunshine of life； and I began to feel like a
plant growing in humid darkness out of the slimy walls of a well。
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The Professor 37
Antipathy is the only word which can express the feeling
Edward Crimsworth had for me—a feeling； in a great measure；
involuntary； and which was liable to be excited by every； the most
trifling movement； look； or word of mine。 My southern accent
annoyed him； the degree of education evinced in my language
irritated him； my punctuality； industry； and accuracy； fixed his
dislike； and gave it the high flavour and poignant relish of envy； he
feared that I too should one day make a successful tradesman。 Had
I been in anything inferior to him； he would not have hated me so
thoroughly； but I knew all that he knew； and； what was worse； he
suspected that I kept the padlock of silence on mental wealth in
which he was no sharer。 If he could have once placed me in a
ridiculous or mortifying position； he would have forgiven me
much； but I was guarded by three faculties—Caution； Tact；
Observation； and prowling and prying as was Edward’s malignity；
it could never baffle the lynx…eyes of these； my natural sentinels。
Day by day did his malice watch my tact； hoping it would sleep；
and prepared to steal snake…like on its slumber； but tact； if it be
genuine； never sleeps。
I had received my first quarter’s wages； and was returning to
my lodgings； possessed heart and soul with the pleasant feeling
that the master who had
