the professor(教授)-第63节
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Or gave some fragrant flower；
I did not quail to Envy’s look；
Upheld by Pleasure’s power。
At last our school ranks took their ground；
The hard…fought field I won；
The prize； a laurel…wreath； was bound
My throbbing forehead on。
Low at my master’s knee I bent；
The offered crown to meet；
Its green leaves through my temples sent
A thrill as wild as sweet。
The strong pulse of Ambition struck
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In every vein I owned；
At the same instant； bleeding broke
A secret； inward wound。
The hour of triumph was to me
The hour of sorrow sore；
A day hence I must cross the sea；
Ne’er to recross it more。
An hour hence； in my master’s room
I with him sat alone；
And told him what a dreary gloom
O’er joy had parting thrown。
He little said； the time was brief；
The ship was soon to sail；
And while I sobbed in bitter grief；
My master but looked pale。
They called in haste； he bade me go；
Then snatched me back again；
He held me fast and murmured low；
“Why will they part us； Jane？”
“Were you not happy in my care？
Did I not faithful prove？
Will others to my darling bear
As true； as deep a love？
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“O God； watch o’er my foster child！
O guard her gentle head！
When minds are high and tempests wild
Protection round her spread！
“They call again； leave then my breast；
Quit thy true shelter； Jane；
But when deceived； repulsed； opprest；
Come home to me again！”
I read—then dreamily made marks on the margin with my
pencil； thinking all the while of other things； thinking that “Jane”
was now at my side； no child； but a girl of nineteen； and she might
be mine； so my heart affirmed； Poverty’s curse was taken off me；
Envy and Jealousy were far away； and unapprized of this our quiet
meeting； the frost of the Master’s manner might melt； I felt the
thaw coming fast； whether I would or not； no further need for the
eye to practise a hard look； for the brow to compress its expense
into a stern fold： it was now permitted to suffer the outward
revelation of the inward glow—to seek； demand； elicit an
answering ardour。 While musing thus； I thought that the grass on
Hermon never drank the fresh dews of sunset more gratefully
than my feelings drank the bliss of this hour。
Frances rose； as if restless； she passed before me to stir the fire；
which did not want stirring； she lifted and put down the little
ornaments on the mantelpiece； her dress waved within a yard of
me； slight； straight； and elegant； she stood erect on the hearth。
There are impulses we can control； but there are others which
control us； because they attain us with a tiger…leap； and are our
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masters ere we have seen them。 Perhaps； though； such impulses
are seldom altogether bad； perhaps Reason； by a process as brief
as quiet； a process that is finished ere felt； has ascertained the
sanity of the deed Instinct meditates； and feels justified in
remaining passive while it is performed。 I know I did not reason； I
did not plan or intend； yet； whereas one moment I was sitting
solus on the chair near the table； the next； I held Frances on my
knee； placed there with sharpness and decision； and retained with
exceeding tenacity。
“Monsieur！” cried Frances； and was still： not another word
escaped her lips； sorely confounded she seemed during the lapse
of the first few moments； but the amazement soon subsided； terror
did not succeed； nor fury： after all； she was only a little nearer than
she had ever been before； to one she habitually respected and
trusted； embarrassment might have impelled her to contend； but
self…respect checked resistance where resistance was useless。
“Frances； how much regard have you for me？” was my
demand。 No answer； the situation was yet too new and surprising
to permit speech。 On this consideration； I compelled myself for
some seconds to tolerate her silence； though impatient of it：
presently； I repeated the same question—probably； not in the
calmest of tones； she looked at me； my face； doubtless； was no
model of composure； my eyes no still wells of tranquillity。
“Do speak；” I urged； and a very low； hurried； yet still arch voice
said—
“Monsieur； vous me faites mal； de grace lachez un peu ma main
droite。”
In truth I became aware that I was holding the said “main
droite” in a somewhat ruthless grasp： I did as desired； and； for the
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third time； asked more gently—
“Frances； how much regard have you for me？”
“Mon maitre； j’en ai beaucoup；” was the truthful rejoinder。
“Frances； have you enough to give yourself to me as my wife？—
to accept me as your husband？”
I felt the agitation of the heart； I saw “the purple light of love”
cast its glowing reflection on cheeks； temples； neck； I desired to
consult the eye； but sheltering lash and lid forbade。
“Monsieur；” said the soft voice at last；—“Monsieur désire savoir
si je consens—si—enfin； si je veux me marier avec lui？”
“Justement。”
“Monsieur sera…t…il aussi bon mari qu’il a été bon maitre？”
“I will try； Frances。”
A pause； then with a new； yet still subdued inflexion of the
voice—an inflexion which provoked while it pleased me—
accompanied； too； by a “sourire a la fois fin et timide” in perfect
harmony with the tone：—
“C’est…à…dire； monsieur sera toujours un peu entêté exigeant；
volontaire—？”
“Have I been so； Frances？”
“Mais oui； vous le savez bien。”
“Have I been nothing else？”
“Mais oui； vons avez été mon meilleur ami。”
“And what； Frances； are you to me？”
“Votre dévouée élève； qui vous aime de tout son coeur。”
“Will my pupil consent to pass her life with me？ Speak English
now； Frances。”
Some moments were taken for reflection； the answer；
pronounced slowly； ran thus：—
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“You have always made me happy； I like to hear you speak； I
like to see you； I like to be near you； I believe you are very good；
and very superior； I know you are stern to those who are careless
and idle； but you are kind； very kind to the attentive and
industrious； even if they are not clever。 Master； I should be glad to
live with you always；” and she made a sort of movement； as if she
would have clung to me； but restraining herself she only added
with earnest emphasis—“Master； I consent to pass my life with
you。”
“Very well； Frances。”
I drew her a little nearer to my heart； I took a first kiss from her
lips； thereby sealing the compact； now framed between us；
afterwards she and I were silent； nor was our silence brief。
Frances’ thoughts； during this interval； I know not； nor did I
attempt to guess them； I was not occupied in
