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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
it not all very natural�拭�Was there ever a neighbor that did not
complain that unknown feet broke down his trellises�拭�I leave it to
my poet to answer。
But does the lofty reasoner after the fashion of Moliere want
still better reasons�拭�Well�察�here they are。 My dear Geronte��
marriages are usually made in defiance of common´sense。 Parents
make inquiries about a young man。 If the Leanderwho is supplied
by some friend�察�or caught in a ball´roomis not a thief�察�and has
no visible rent in his reputation�察�if he has the necessary
fortune�察�if he comes from a college or a law´school and so fulfils
the popular ideas of education�察�and if he wears his clothes with a
gentlemanly air�察�he is allowed to meet the young lady�察�whose
mother has ordered her to guard her tongue�察�to let no sign of her
heart or soul appear on her face�察�which must wear the smile of a
danseuse finishing a pirouette。 These commands are coupled with
instructions as to the danger of revealing her real character�察�and
the additional advice of not seeming alarmingly well educated。 If
the settlements have all been agreed upon�察�the parents are good´
natured enough to let the pair see each other for a few moments��
they are allowed to talk or walk together�察�but always without the
slightest freedom�察�and knowing that they are bound by rigid rules。
The man is as much dressed up in soul as he is in body�察�and so is
the young girl。 This pitiable comedy�察�mixed with bouquets�察�jewels��
and theatre´parties is called ;paying your addresses。; It revolts
me�此�I desire that actual marriage shall be the result of a
previous and long marriage of souls。 A young girl�察�a woman�察�has
throughout her life only this one moment when reflection�察�second
sight�察�and experience are necessary to her。 She plays her liberty��
her happiness�察�and she is not allowed to throw the dice�察�she risks
her all�察�and is forced to be a mere spectator。 I have the right��
the will�察�the power to make my own unhappiness�察�and I use them�察�as
did my mother�察�who�察�won by beauty and led by instinct�察�married the
most generous�察�the most liberal�察�the most loving of men。 I know
that you are free�察�a poet�察�and noble´looking。 Be sure that I
should not have chosen one of your brothers in Apollo who was
already married。 If my mother was won by beauty�察�which is perhaps
the spirit of form�察�why should I not be attracted by the spirit
and the form united�拭�Shall I not know you better by studying you
in this correspondence than I could through the vulgar experience
of ;receiving your addresses;�拭�This is the question�察�as Hamlet
says。
But my proceedings�察�dear Chrysale�察�have at least the merit of not
binding us personally。 I know that love has its illusions�察�and
every illusion its to´morrow。 That is why there are so many
partings among lovers vowed to each other for life。 The proof of
love lies in two things��suffering and happiness。 When�察�after
passing through these double trials of life two beings have shown
each other their defects as well as their good qualities�察�when
they have really observed each other's character�察�then they may go
to their grave hand in hand。 My dear Argante�察�who told you that
our little drama thus begun was to have no future�拭�In any case
shall we not have enjoyed the pleasures of our correspondence��
I await your orders�察�monseigneur�察�and I am with all my heart��
Your handmaiden��
O。 d'Este M。
To Mademoiselle O。 d'Este M。��You are a witch�察�a spirit�察�and I
love you� �Is that what you desire of me�察�most original of girls��
Perhaps you are only seeking to amuse your provincial leisure with
the follies which are you able to make a poet commit。 If so�察�you
have done a bad deed。 Your two letters have enough of the spirit
of mischief in them to force this doubt into the mind of a
Parisian。 But I am no longer master of myself�察�my life�察�my future
depend on the answer you will make me。 Tell me if the certainty of
an unbounded affection�察�oblivious of all social conventions�察�will
touch you��if you will suffer me to seek you。 There is anxiety
enough and uncertainty enough in the question as to whether I can
personally please you。 If your reply is favorable I change my
life�察�I bid adieu to all the irksome pleasures which we have the
folly to call happiness。 Happiness�察�my dear and beautiful unknown��
is what you dream it to be��a fusion of feelings�察�a perfect
accordance of souls�察�the imprint of a noble ideal ��such as God
does permit us to form in this low world�� upon the trivial round
of daily life whose habits we must needs obey�察�a constancy of
heart more precious far than what we call fidelity。 Can we say
that we make sacrifices when the end in view is our eternal good��
the dream of poets�察�the dream of maidens�察�the poem which�察�at the
entrance of life when thought essays its wings�察�each noble
intellect has pondered and caressed only to see it shivered to
fragments on some stone of stumbling as hard as it is vulgar��for
to the great majority of men�察�the foot of reality steps instantly
on that mysterious egg so seldom hatched。
I cannot speak to you any more of myself�察�not of my past life�察�nor
of my character�察�nor of an affection almost maternal on one side��
filial on mine�察�which you have already seriously changedan
effect upon my life which must explain my use of the word
;sacrifice。; You have already rendered me forgetful�察�if not
ungrateful�察�does that satisfy you�拭�Oh�察�speak� �Say to me one word��
and I will love you till my eyes close in death�察�as the Marquis de
Pescaire loved his wife�察�as Romeo loved Juliet�察�and faithfully。
Our life will be�察�for me at least�察�that ;felicity untroubled;
which Dante made the very element of his Paradiso��a poem far
superior to his Inferno。 Strange�察�it is not myself that I doubt in
the long reverie through which�察�like you�察�I follow the windings of
a dreamed existence�察�it is you。 Yes�察�dear�察�I feel within me the
power to love�察�and to love endlessly��to march to the grave with
gentle slowness and a smiling eye�察�with my beloved on my arm�察�and
with never a cloud upon the sunshine of our souls。 Yes�察�I dare to
face our mutual old age�察�to see ourselves with whitening heads��
like the venerable historian of Italy�察�inspired always with the
same affection but transformed in soul by our life's seasons。 Hear
me�察�I can no longer be your friend only。 Though Chrysale�察�Geronte��
and Argante re´live�察�you say�察�in me�察�I am not yet old enough to
drink from the cup held to my lips by the sweet hands of a veiled
woman without a passionate desire to tear off the domino and the
mask and see the face。 Either write me no more�察�or give me hope。
Let me see you�察�or let me go。 Must I bid you adieu�拭�Will you
permit me to sign myself��
Your Friend��
To Monsieur de Canalis��What flattery� �with what rapidity is the
grave Anselme transformed into a handsome Leander� �To what must I
attribute such a change�拭�to this black which I put upon this
white�拭�to these ideas which are to the flowers of my soul what a
rose drawn in charcoal is to the roses in the garden�拭�Or is it to
a recollection of the young girl whom you took for me�察�and who is
personally as like me as a waiting´woman is like her mistress��
Have we changed roles�拭�Have I the sense�拭�have you the fancy�拭�But a
truce with jesting。
Your letter has made me know the elating pleasures of the soul��
the first that I have known outside of my family affections。 What��
says a poet�察�are the ties of blood which are so strong in ordinary
minds�察�compared to those divinely forged within us by mysterious
sympathies�拭�Let me thank youno�察�we must not thank each other for
such thingsbut God bless you for the happiness you have given
me�察�be happy in the joy you have shed into my soul。 You explain to
me some of the apparent injustices in social life。 There is
something�察�I know not what�察�so dazzling�察�so virile in glory�察�that
it belongs only to man�察�God forbids us women to wear its halo�察�but
he makes love our portion�察�giving us the tenderness which soothes
the brow scorched by his lightnings。 I have felt my mission�察�and
you have now confirmed it。
Sometimes�察�my friend�察�I rise in the morning in a state of
inexpressible sweetness�察�a sort of peace�察�tender and divine�察�gives
me an idea of heaven。 My first thought is then like a benediction。
I call these mornings my little German wakings�察�in opposition to
my Southern sunsets�察�full of heroic deeds�察�battles�察�Roman fetes
and ardent poems。 Well�察�after reading your letter�察�so full of
feverish impatience�察�I felt in my heart all the freshness of my
celestial wakings�察�when I love the air about me and all nature��
and fancy that I am destined to die for one I love。 One of your
poems�察 �The Maiden's So