stories of a western town-第3节
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his coat and walked out of the place where he had worked so long； not a man saying a word。 Lieders didn't reflect that they knew nothing of the quarrel。 He glowered at them and went away sore at heart。 We make a great mistake when we suppose that it is only the affectionate that desire affection； sulky and ill…conditioned souls often have a passionate longing for the very feelings that they repel。 Lieders was a womanish； sensitive creature under the surly mask； and he was cut to the quick by his comrades' apathy。 〃There ain't no place for old men in this world；〃 he thought； 〃there's them boys I done my best to make do a good job； and some of 'em I've worked overtime to help； and not one of 'em has got as much as a good…by in him for me！〃 But he did not think of going to poor Thekla for comfort； he went to his grim dreams。 〃I git my property all straight for Thekla； and then I quit；〃 said he。 Perhaps he gave himself a reprieve unconsciously； thinking that something might happen to save him from himself。 Nothing happened。 None of the 〃boys〃 came to see him； except Carl Olsen； the very stupidest man in the shop； who put Lieders beside himself fifty times a day。 The other men were sorry that Lieders had gone； having a genuine workman's admiration for his skill； and a sort of underground liking for the unreasonable old man because he was so absolutely honest and 〃a fellow could always tell where to find him。〃 But they were shy； they were afraid he would take their pity in bad part； they 〃waited a while。〃 Carl； honest soul； stood about in Lieders's workshop； kicking the shavings with his heels for half an hour； and grinned sheepishly； and was told what a worthless； scamping； bragging lot the 〃boys〃 at Lossing's were； and said he guessed he had got to go home now； and so departed； unwitting that his presence had been a consolation。 Mrs。 Olsen asked Carl what Lieders said； Carl answered simply； 〃Say； Freda； that man feels terrible bad。〃 Meanwhile Thekla seemed easily satisfied。 She made no outcry as Lieders had dreaded； over his leaving the shop。 〃Well； then； papa； you don't need git up so early in the morning no more； if you aint going to the shop；〃 was her only comment； and Lieders despised the mind of woman more than ever。 But that evening； while Lieders was down town （occupied； had she known it； with a codicil to his will）； she went over to the Olsens and found out all Carl could tell her about the trouble in the shop。 And it was she that made the excuse of marketing to go out the next day； that she might see the rich widow on the hill who was talking about a china closet； and Judge Trevor； who had asked the price of a mantel； and Mr。 Martin； who had looked at sideboards （all this information came from honest Carl）； and who proposed to them that they order such furniture of the best cabinet…maker in the country； now setting up on his own account。 He； simple as a baby for all his doggedness； thought that they came because of his fame as a workman； and felt a glow of pride； particularly as （having been prepared by the wife； who said； 〃You see it don't make so much difference with my Kurt 'bout de prize； if so he can get the furniture like he wants it； and he always know of the best in the old country〃） they all were duly humble。 He accepted a few orders and went to work with a will； he would show them what the old man could do。 But it was only a temporary gleam； in a little while he grew homesick for the shop； for the sawdust floor and the familiar smell of oil； and the picture of Lossing flitting in and out。 He missed the careless young workmen at whom he had grumbled； he missed the whir of machinery； and the consciousness of rush and hurry accented by the cars on the track outside。 In short； he missed the feeling of being part of a great whole。 At home； in his cosey little improvised shop； there was none to dispute him； but there was none to obey him either。 He grew deathly tired of it all。 He got into the habit of walking around the shops at night； prowling about his old haunts like a cat。 Once the night watchman saw him。 The next day there was a second watchman engaged。 And Olsen told him very kindly； meaning only to warn him； that he was suspected to be there for no good purpose。 Lieders confirmed a lurking suspicion of the good Carl's own； by the clouding of his face。 Yet he would have chopped his hand off rather than have lifted it against the shop。 That was Tuesday night； this was Wednesday morning。 The memory of it all； the cruel sense of injustice； returned with such poignant force that Lieders groaned aloud。 Instantly； Thekla was bending over him。 He did not know whether to laugh at her or to swear； for she began fumbling at the ropes； half sobbing。 〃Yes； I knowed they was hurting you； papa； I'm going to loose one arm。 Then I put it back again and loose the other。 Please don't be bad！〃 He made no resistance and she was as good as her word。 She unbound and bound him in sections； as it were； he watching her with a morose smile。 Then she left the room； but only to return with some hot coffee。 Lieders twisted his head away。 〃No；〃 said he； 〃I don't eat none of that breakfast； not if you make fresh coffee all the morning； I feel like I don't eat never no more on earth。〃 Thekla knew that the obstinate nature that she tempted was proof against temptation； if Kurt chose to starve； starve he would with food at his elbow。 〃Oh； papa；〃 she cried； helplessly； 〃what IS the matter with you？〃 〃Just dying is the matter with me； Thekla。 If I can't die one way I kin another。 Now Thekla； I want you to quit crying and listen。 After I'm gone you go to the boss； young Mr。 Lossing but I always called him Harry because he learned his trade of me； Thekla； but he don't think of that nowand you tell him old Lieders that worked for him thirty years is dead； but he didn't hold no hard feelings； he knowed he done wrong 'bout that mantel。 Mind you tell him。〃 〃Yes； papa；〃 said Thekla； which was a surprise to Kurt； he had dreaded a weak flood of tears and protestations。 But there were no tears； no protestations； only a long look at him and a contraction of the eyebrows as if Thekla were trying to think of something that eluded her。 She placed the coffee on the tray beside the other breakfast。 For a while the room was very still。 Lieders could not see the look of resolve that finally smoothed the perplexed lines out of his wife's kind； simple old face。 She rose。 〃Kurt；〃 she said； 〃I don't guess you remember this is our wedding…day； it was this day； eighteen year we was married。〃 〃So！〃 said Lieders； 〃well； I was a bad bargain to you； Thekla； after you nursed your father that was a cripple for twenty years； I thought it would be easy with me； but I was a bad bargain。〃 〃The Lord knows best about that；〃 said Thekla； simply； 〃be it how it be； you are the only man I ever had or will have； and I don't like you starve yourself。 Papa； say you don't kill yourself； to…day； and dat you will eat your breakfast！〃 〃Yes；〃 Lieders repeated in German； 〃a bad bargain for thee； that is sure。 But thou hast been a good bargain for me。 Here！ I promise。 Not this day。 Give me the coffee。〃 He had seasons； all the morning； of wondering over his meekness； and his agreement to be tied up again； at night。 But still； what did a day matter？ a man humors women's notions； and starving was so tedious。 Between whiles he elaborated a scheme to attain his end。 How easy to outwit the silly Thekla！ His eyes shone； as he hid the little； sharp knife up his cuff。 〃Let her tie me！〃 says Lieders； 〃I keep my word。 To…morrow I be out of this。 He won't git a man like me； pretty soon！〃 Thekla went about her daily tasks； with her every…day air； but； now and again； that same pucker of thought returned to her forehead； and； more than once； Lieders saw her stand over some dish； poising her spoon in air； too abstracted to notice his cynical observation。 The dinner was more elaborate than common； and Thekla had broached a bottle of her currant wine。 She gravely drank Lieders's health。 〃And many good days； papa；〃 she said。 Lieders felt a queer movement of pity。 After the table was cleared； he helped his wife to wash and wipe the dishes as his custom was of a Sunday or holiday。 He wiped dishes as he did everything； neatly； slowly； with a careful deliberation。 Not until the dishes were put away and the couple were seated； did Thekla speak。 〃Kurt；〃 she said； 〃I got to talk to you。〃 An inarticulate groan and a glance at the door from Lieders。 〃I just got to； papa。 It aint righd for you to do the way you been doing for so long time； efery little whiles you try to kill yourself； no； papa； that aint righd！〃 Kurt； who had gotten out his pencils and compasses and other drawing tools； grunted： 〃I got to look at my work； Thekla； now； I am too busy to talk。〃 〃No； Kurt； no； papa〃the hands holding the blue apron that she was embroidering with white linen began to tremble； Lieders had not the least idea what a strain it was on this reticent； slow of speech woman who had stood in awe of him for eighteen years； to discuss the horror of her life； but he could not help marking her agitation。 She went on； desperately： 〃Yes； papa； I got to talk it oud with you。 You had ought to listen； 'cause I always been a g
